There's Always More - Sequel to Negan's Nurse
by TeamCarlisle
Summary: A continuation of Negan's Nurse. Negan and Alexandra continue to build their life together. Will the feud linger between their community and Rick's?
1. Future

There's always more. From where Alexandra stood it was a positive reminder. It was a reminder that they were still alive. The only time there wasn't more was when you were dead. Still, Negan's words were simultaneously a chilling reminder that the word more could mean for better or for worse. The world had begun the opening stages of rebuilding and they were getting by more comfortably but feuds for territory were still present. For all she knew Rick's people may have turned down the peace offering and a lingering animosity could eventually blow up.

"I can tell when you're thinking too much." Negan turned to her as they sat side by side on the front porch enjoying the warm air that lingered late in the afternoon. Joseph sat playing with a yellow toy monster truck in front of them, aimlessly driving it around.

Alexandra gave a barely there smile and placed her hand on top of his on the arm rest. "You know me too well."

"No such fuckin' thing." He let out a breath through his nose and raised his eyebrows. "You know... you're going to worry yourself to death if you're not careful."

"I've tried everything," she told him. "I've taken walks around the town, tried to keep myself busy down at the med building..." Alexandra managed a chuckle, "I tried yoga with Kismet."

"That's not everything," Negan squeezed her hand gently.

"What am I missing?" Alexandra stared at him, slightly desperate for answers.

"Me." He cleared his throat and looked her in the eye. "I don't think I'm a bad fuckin' listener... and if I'm any good at reading you I'd say your worries revolve around the kids... and me... and what Rick's group may or may not be thinking."

She grinned and then let out a sigh. "Right so far."

"And all of those things we're in together," Negan went on, "So if you want to talk, cry or fuckin' scream you can come to me doll. I'll keep my big fuckin' mouth shut for once and let you have the floor."

Alexandra nodded. "Thank you." She reached a hand up and brushed through his salt and pepper hair before giving him a kiss on the lips.

"I love ya honey."

"I love you too Negan."

The light smacking of Lucy's footsteps over the concrete sidewalk that led to the house made both of them turned as she shouted, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"

Negan extended his arms and she ran into his hands as he scooped her up and held her high over his head. "What's up kiddo?" He glanced toward the street where Sarah gave a wave and wandered down toward the farm.

"Can we do the bike?" Lucy asked with a laugh.

He swung her down so her feet grazed the ground and then lifted her high above his head again. "What I didn't hear you?"

"Can we do the-"

Negan swung her again, making her laugh a little harder.

"Careful," Alexandra added from the side with a smile.

"The bike," Lucy huffed out as he continued to tease her, swinging her up and down before finally setting her on the ground.

"Alright," Negan agreed, "Let's go."

"Shoulders," Lucy demanded with a big smile that her father couldn't deny. He stood up and hoisted her up onto his shoulders before carefully taking the steps down into the yard.

Alexandra felt a pain in her chest watching Negan limp away. She was sure even such a small body like Lucy put significant strain on his body but he never showed it.

He quickly helped her onto the bicycle and a few minutes later they were halfway down the street.

From the other side Shelby walked, giving a wave that Alexandra returned. She anticipated her walking past the house but she paced the walkway and gave a smile when Alexandra offered her the seat where Negan had been.

"How are you Shelby?" She gave her a hug and assumed something was on her mind.

"I just came to talk."

"Well I'm available all night." Alexandra grinned.

Shelby looked at Jospeh as he used the pillar in the railing to stand up. She smiled when he rattled off the word, "Ma ma," several times in a row and Alexandra scooped him up.

"Your pregnancies..." Shelby began. "They went well?"

Alexandra nodded, pressing her eyebrows together at first as she thought and then her eyes lit up. Before she could think of a way to ask without seeming too forward, Shelby went on.

"Me and Casey have been winging it... trying not to think of all the potential bads but..." she let out a tiny laugh, "But I'm... I think I might be pregnant."

Alexandra smiled wide and let out a chuckle. "Oh my gosh, that's great!" She leaned over and gave her a hug, prompting Joseph to whine as he was partially stuck between them.

"Oh sorry JoJo," Shelby said. She took in a deep breath and looked back to Alexandra.

"Have you told Casey?"

She nodded. "Yeah. God, none of this would have been possible when we were moving from place to place out on the road. You all must've thought we were creeps lurking around the Manor before we all finally met but that was the best thing that ever happened to us."

"We're rebuilding." Alexandra smiled. "I'm so happy for you Shelby."

"If we have a boy I want to name him Richie... I hope we have a boy." Her eyes made their way to Joseph again.

"We'll make sure to take good care of you," she vowed. "Nancy's going to be thrilled. She was such a positive person to be around when I was pregnant."

"How bad is it? The birth process..."

"Well..." Alexandra chuckled. "It's not pleasant... but I can assure you it's worth it."

Shelby smiled. "That's all I really need to know I guess then."

"I'm so happy for you guys Shelby. Do you want to come in and have some apple pie? Sarah and I made two earlier today around noon. We can talk."

"I would love that," Shelby told her with a nod. She reached out for Joseph. "Can I hold him?"

"Of course." Alexandra handed Joseph over, who whipped his head around when he couldn't see his mother. "I'm right here baby." She ran a hand over his head and then led the way inside.

"Thanks Alex," Shelby said.

"Any time."


	2. One Piece

Sarah sat in the passenger seat of a truck that Negan eased toward the front gates of the Manor. A slow smile spread across her face when he looked continuously in the rear view mirror.

"You know... we can practice driving down the roads here," Sarah assured him with a chuckle.

"Yeah until you accidentally ran the fuckin' curb and somebody over." Negan looked in the side view this time. "The area isn't big enough."

"I don't mind but you know Alex is going to kill you."

"It's fine."

"Is that why you keep checking in the rear view mirror?"

Negan glanced over and then unrolled his window when he came flush with the gate. "Jack! Open up!"

Jack leaned down over the railing of the tower. "What're you doing?"

"What are you my fuckin' mother?" Negan asked. "Open up."

Jack looked outward over the wall and then back to him. "I'm not supposed to."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

He scratched the back of his head. "Your wife will have my balls if I let you out."

Sarah let out a laugh and Negan turned to scowl at her a minute before returning his attention to Jack. "I'll sacrifice my own, open the gate."

"She told me if I let you out-"

"Jack!" Negan hollered up to him and put a hand out. "I'm teaching the kid to fuckin' drive on the main road right out front." When Jack didn't budge Negan opened the door. "I'm going to accidentally raise the fuckin' gate and we're sneaking out."

Jack looked back into the Manor and sighed. "Don't fuckin' get yourselves hurt out there." He began to raise the gate himself and Negan got back into the truck.

"Can I hang around for the fight later?" Sarah asked.

"Do you want to fuckin' drive or not?"

She chuckled and straightened up in her seat. "Let's go."

"That's what I thought." Negan floored it out of the gate and took a sharp right heading toward the main road. He headed toward the first stop sign which was still within an eyeshot of the gate where Jack sat and then put the truck in park. "Switch it up."

Sarah eagerly popped open the door and rounded the front of the truck, chuckling as she passed by Negan when they switched sides.

"Seatbelt," Negan said, slamming the door behind him as Sarah jumped in behind the wheel.

"You're joking..."

"No I'm not fuckin' joking. If we slam into a fuckin' tree maybe we won't die." He threw his on and waited as she adjusted the seat so her feet reached the pedals. When she finally buckled up he motioned to the shifter. "P is park-"

"D is drive, R is reverse, N is neutral," she finished. "Yeah I know."

"Oh that's right you fuckin' know everything."

"I know that," Sarah said under her breath.

"Okay get out." Negan opened the door and she grabbed his arm.

"Okay, okay... please," she pleaded. "I'm sorry. I'll stop."

Negan looked over at her. He held up a number one with his finger. "One more thing and we're going back." He closed the door.

"Okay." Sarah nodded in agreement.

"You can reach the pedals?"

She double checked her feet. "Yes."

"You probably already know this," Negan let his voice deepen with sarcasm, "But you only want to use the right foot to go back and forth between the gas pedal and the brake."

"The brake is on the left," Sarah voiced the statement like a question.

"Yeah." He nodded and pointed. "You want to keep the break held down as you put it into drive. Do that now."

Sarah took a deep breath and pressed the brake with her foot before adjusting the shifter into drive. She then glanced over at him.

"Alright. When you ease off the brake the car's probably going to move forward just a little bit." Negan glanced back at the road. "Ease of slowly and then just as slowly start to gently press down on the gas."

Sarah squeezed the steering wheel with both hands and took a deep breath. Her eyes refocused on the road. "Now?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

Sarah did as he said first, easing off of the brake before setting her foot down on the gas. The car jolted when she gave it too much gas but she regrouped with a quick, "Whoa," and then gently pressed the pedal again.

"That's alright." Negan looked around at the vacant street. "Just take it slow. Stay between the double yellow line and the edge over here."

Sarah leaned forward and kept the car going slowly. She nodded to herself when a certain level of comfort sank in and then hit the gas a little harder.

"Easy," he warned, but allowed her to continue when she cruised the car up to twenty miles per hour. "Keep it at this speed."

"This isn't so bad." Sarah's hands tightened some more and she continued to stare straight ahead, not prepared to look in any other direction.

"Doing fine."

"Here's a little turn," she said to herself, and then sighed as she cruised around it with ease, "Okay."

Negan smirked, thinking to himself how fearless the kid was with everything she came in contact with but driving a car between two lines made her anxious like any teenager. "Pick it up just a little bit."

"The speed?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "We've got a straight away. If you're comfortable make it up to thirty."

Sarah hit the gas a little harder than she anticipated and the truck gave a loud purr as it cruised forward with speed, sending the orange hand swiftly passing by the number thirty-five on the gage. "Oh shit."

"You're fine," Negan assured her again. "Just keep the wheel going straight."

"You said thirty. I'm at thirty-five."

"That's alright. You're going straight."

"I am. Yes." Sarah huffed in another breath.

"There's a stop sign up there at the intersection." Negan pointed. "Keep your eyes on the road... come to a stop."

"How do I do that?"

He chuckled. "You ease off the pedal and slowly press the brake as we get closer. We still have about a hundred yards so-"

Sarah felt all reason leave her body and she switched her foot, pressing hard on the brake so both of them launched forward a few inches.

"Jesus kid," Negan put a hand on the dashboard and then adjusted as the car came to a full stop. He smiled. "You didn't have to do it that fuckin' fast."

"Yeah... right." She nodded and eyed the stop sign again. "Should I..."

"Go." He gave a nod, "You're alright."

With a breath she eased off the brake, letting the car begin it's barely-there roll on and then hit the gas again. After the initial jolt that was just a little too quick the car began it's smooth ride again.

"I'll tell you when to take your foot off the gas," Negan said.

"Okay."

The stop sign grew bigger with each second as they got closer. Negan bided his time and then finally gave the command. "Don't hit the brake yet, but foot off the gas."

Sarah swallowed hard but did as he said and then waited.

"Alright, ease on the brake."

Sarah's foot hit the brake with a heaviness that sent them both forward again, though she adjusted right after, removing her foot and trying a second time. This time she managed to get the gist of it, finding mild success in the stopping attempt that time.

When the car cruised to a halt Negan turned to her. "Not fuckin' bad."

"Not fuckin' good."

"We'll get there." He motioned to the intersection. "You want to go left or right?"

"I don't care."

"Pick one."

"Left."

"Go ahead," Negan pointed again, "We'll head down about a quarter mile and then we'll do an illegal U-Turn and head back."

"Illegal," Sarah laughed.

"Figured you'd like that."

She looked down at her feet for a brief second before lifting her foot off the brake and refocusing on the road to take the turn. She kept it slow at first and then accelerated appropriately as the left turn was finalized and they began to drive slowly down the street.

"There ya go kid." Negan sat back in the seat just slightly.

Sarah smiled and nodded. "That wasn't too hard. Stopping sucks but the driving part," she shrugged making him chuckle.

"Stopping sucks," he echoed with a laugh, "You're too fuckin' much."

She continued to grin and drove along until he pointed to an area wide enough for them to turn around.

"Pull it in here."

"Can't we drive a little more?"

"Yes, we'll stay out but I don't want to go too far."

"Alex... got it." She grinned and attempted to ease the car to halt, finding the same level of difficulty but stopped the truck.

"She's working," Negan told her, "A little white lie won't hurt anybody."

Sarah made a face. "Yeah... okay." She glanced over at him and chuckled.

He grinned back. "Can you turn this car around on your own?"

"I think so."

"Keep the wheel all the way turned to the left, barely press down on the gas."

"Got it." Sarah turned the wheel first and then eased off the brake. She then slowly hit the gas and felt the car begin to turn back around.

"Keep it slow," he urged and then nodded again when the car was facing the direction they came in, "Center it between the lines on this side and take a right at the stop sign. We'll head back to the Manor and repeat the course a few times."

"I'm going to be a Nascar star by the time this day is over," Sarah joked.

"Yeah you're a regular fuckin' Earnhardt," Negan joked, "Just get us home in one fuckin' piece alright."

"Think I can do that." Sarah nodded and hit the gas a little harder, making him curse again. When they reached the stop sign they exchanged a glance and she let a slow grin spread across her face. "Sorry."

Negan scratched his head but couldn't hide a smile. "One piece," he said again, "One fuckin' piece."


	3. Angry Farmer

Negan and Sarah returned to the Manor and she smiled as they cruised back in through the gates.

"That was really fun," she told him.

"You got the hang of it," Negan said with a nod. "Teachin' one kid to ride a bike and the other to drive."

"Life is good." Sarah looked over at him in the driver's seat. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Jack raised his eyebrows and gave a look once they were inside and the gates had closed.

"Uh oh," Sarah said. She looked at Negan. "Okay, now I regret what I said. I hope you don't get in trouble."

Negan looked at Jack who gave him a shrug and a nod. "Well... that doesn't look too fuckin' promising." He gave a laugh and pulled the truck off to the side, killing the engine, "Good first fuckin' lesson though. We'll head out again."

"I'll see if I can get Alex to go do some decompressing breaths with Kismet and George before you see her."

"She may not even know we went out."

The two of them climbed out the truck and simultaneously looked up at Jack.

"Well..." Jack called down, "Good luck buddy." He gave a thumbs up with a smile.

"What the fuck's that mean?"

"Your girl has a feisty temper when she's angry."

"Is that right..."

"Just a notch above you my friend." Jack laughed again. "I almost got fired because of you two."

"Thanks for fuckin' covering for us," Negan told him with a wave.

"She's too smart for all that." He shook his head and leaned his hands on the railing, beginning to chuckle.

"Agreed," Sarah said and then looked at Negan with a pat on the back. "I'm going to offer to babysit... get on her good side." She smiled, "Thanks again Negan."

"Yeah..." He watched as she jogged up ahead of him toward the town and he took his time wandered toward the medical building where he assumed Alexandra was working. When he arrived and entered Nancy sat in a chair counting out pill bottles. She recorded something on a sheet of paper and then looked up as he walked in.

"Nancy."

"Negan." She nodded and continued what she was doing.

"She here?"

"She?" Nancy purposely played dumb, "Oh Alexandra." She removed her glasses and leaned back in the chair, staring up at him. "Hasn't the poor woman been through enough?"

Negan sighed. "She's not here?"

"Not anymore."

"Alright." He turned to walk out and Nancy shouted to him.

"You won't find her at the house either."

Negan spun back around and looked at her, putting his hands on his hips. "Where is she? With Annie?"

Nancy shook her head and then went back to counting.

"Well the least you can fuckin' do is give me the rest of the details."

"Why should I?"

Negan scoffed. "So I can speak with my wife."

"All's I'm saying is that you didn't care to give her details about your whereabouts... so why should I tell you?"

"Actually it appears as if Jack sold me out," Negan went on, "So if you want to even the score you might as well do the same thing." When Nancy didn't immediately reply he spoke again, "Nancy..." She looked up and he decided to go soft in his tone, "Please."

She cleared her throat. "The farm."

"The farm..." He pressed his eyebrows together.

"Blowing off some steam I believe."

"Thanks." Negan turned to go again but she called him back a second time.

"I was sworn to secrecy so if you tell her I told you I'll take a baseball bat to the back of your legs." She spoke so sweetly in her threat that Negan couldn't help but let out a laugh.

"You're fuckin' scary Nancy... I like it." He pulled open the door and left, leaving her smiling behind him in the medical building.

Negan walked the block once so he wouldn't blow Nancy's cover if Alexandra happened to see him go right from there to the farm but eventually made his way down to the back of the Manor past a coop full of chickens on one side and small rows of corn and other crops on the other. When he approached the barn-like structure the doors were open and Alexandra was raking through hay with a pitchfork, clearing it into a hefty pile by a window on the right hand side. It had begun to pile up near a short stack of hay bales that were packaged into cube-like structures.

"Hey!" Negan greeted. He pointed to the hay she was shifting around when she raised her eyes to meet his. "And I don't mean that kind of hay..." A smile formed on his face but she didn't return it.

Alexandra turned her back to him and continued on with what she was doing. When he coolly approached where she stood she whipped around to face him with the pitchfork raised.

"Easy." He smiled wide and raised his hands, "I'm unarmed."

Alexandra continued to glare at him with a scowl. He took one step in her direction. "Stay back."

Negan looked her directly in the eye, still grinning. He could see it was both infuriating her and making her want to smile back at him. He took another step.

"I'm warning you Negan." Her face was still stern and her hands were clenched around the pitchfork.

"I've always wanted to make sweet love to an angry farmer," Negan told her.

"Go see if Big Lenny is up for it," she replied back, "This is usually his job."

Negan gave a loud laugh, making her smile just barely and he pushed down lightly on the end of the pitch fork until Alexandra lowered it so it wasn't pointed at him anymore.

"You lied to me," she said flat out, challenging his stare with her own.

"I just want to take the kid driving. She needs to know."

"There are roads in the Manor."

"Not like out there. What if she hit a fuckin' kid or something because she veered off course."

Alexandra shook her head. "It hasn't even been a month yet since I've gotten you back. Not to mention that you and Sarah going out for a drive is what led to all that shit that happened in the first place. Talk about fucking deja vu."

"How'd you know?"

"Why'd you lie to me Negan?"

"I didn't... lie. I just-"

"Didn't tell me." Alexandra shook her head and began to rake the hay again, "Same damn thing."

"Alex..." he sighed and watched her for a moment and then placed a hand over hers on the tool when she didn't acknowledge him. "Alexandra I was wrong, but I didn't want Sarah to hurt anybody in here if she went off the road. That was why I took her out there. Jack could see us the whole fuckin' time in case something happened. It wasn't reckless. It was practical."

"Practical." She shrugged and nodded, looking back at him again, "Practical is going outside of the walls unnecessarily now because you're bored."

"I'm not bored," Negan assured her.

"Look, I'm not the controlling type. I don't want to be the wife that makes you run every single aspect of your life by her... but I've almost lost you several times... too many times to count and emotionally..." Alexandra put her hand on her forehead and propped the pitchfork against the wall. "It's hard. It's exhausting."

"You're right," he said, looking down. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"You do this all the time. You say you're sorry and then you just go behind my back like this and do what you want anyway." She shook her head and turned to put her hand on the wall, looking out the small window. "Maybe it's me... maybe it's my fault... maybe I _am_ too controlling."

Negan approached her cautiously and put both of his hands down lightly on her shoulders. "It's not your fault," he assured her, "It's me." He let out a loud sigh, "I've driven every woman crazy in my life time. It's only a matter of fuckin' time before I do the same with you."

"You don't drive me crazy _all_ of the time." Alexandra turned to him partway. "Just sometimes."

Negan sighed. "I know I do shit my way a lot. I'm not trying to being a dick."

"I know," she nodded and looked back out the window.

"Are you leaving me?" he asked, making her spin around to face him.

"What?"

"Well you're making yourself what looks like a nice little bed here in the barn," Negan joked, motioning to the hay. "And you weren't at home. God knows where the kids are."

"They're with Annie. She offered to watch them for a half hour while I came down here."

"How long's it been?"

"Since I've been down here?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know twenty minutes." Alexandra sighed.

"So you didn't answer me," Negan said, "You want to be with me or not?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm mad at you Negan. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

"So you say now." He took a step and leaned his back against the wall, leaning his forearm on the end of the pitchfork.

Alexandra looked him in the eye and wrapped her hand around the end of it. "I don't want you to lie to me... about anything. Anything," she emphasized. "I don't care what the hell it is."

"Okay." When he smiled she shook her head and went to leave. "You don't take anything seriously."

Negan reached and gently caught her by the arm. "Wait... Alexandra..." When she turned to him with another scowl he softened his eyes and couldn't even bring himself to crack a smile. "I'm sorry. I do. I am... I just... I don't know. I'm just sorry for fuckin' smiling. I'm really sorry. I do take you seriously."

"You do?"

"Yes I do," he said adamantly. "I fuckin' hate it when you're mad at me honey. I'm trying to just make this part be over, but you're right. Sometimes we need to fuckin' talk it out before I say or do something to try to make you fuckin' smile." Negan shook his head and glanced down. "I was trying to lighten the fuckin' mood but I know what it feels like to be pissed the fuck off." He nodded and looked back at her, "I'll leave ya alone."

Negan went to go walk away but she moved to step in front of him and put her hands on chest to keep him from going.

"How did, um... how did she do?"

"Sarah?"

"Yeah. How did she do driving?" Alexandra looked up at him and Negan nodded.

"She did a good job for her first time out," he informed her, "Needs a lot of work hitting the brakes and not sending the two of us flying forward, but..." He tipped the corner of his mouth up in a smile. "But not bad."

"Good." She let out a breath through her nose. "You know, you two are you going to drive me completely insane."

"I'm sorry." Negan swallowed hard, "It was based off of a whole good deed scenario."

Alexandra smiled at him. "I know."

He smiled back and took a deep breath and looked around. "Can we fuckin' do this shit now?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do what shit?"

Negan grabbed her hand and pulled her down with him as he sat on a bale of hay.

Alexandra began to laugh as she was taken off-guard when he guided her onto his lap and began to kiss the side of her face in sloppy, silly fashion. "Negan!"

He kept his grip on her tight so she couldn't get away and laughed as she fought him to break free. "You want me to let you go?" Negan asked with a chuckle.

"Yes!" she laughed back and he loosened his grip, allowing her to get out of his grasp.

Alexandra rose back to her feet and took several choppy breaths before fixing her disheveled hair and standing with her hands on her hips staring at him.

Negan put his hands behind his head and leaned his back against the wall, widening his feet in the mess of hay on the ground. When he winked she smiled back and shook her head. "I'm so fuckin' into you right now," he told her, "You're so fuckin' hot when you're mad."

"You're unbelievable." She took a step in his direction with a smile. "I want to be so _fucking_ mad at you right now."

"What do you say you fulfill that farmer fantasy of mine?"

"I'm still too mad to make sweet love," Alexandra told him. She looked down and placed a knee between his legs where he sat and looked him in the eye until Negan glanced down.

"An anger bang will do just fuckin' fine too," he added. Negan swallowed when she moved her knee a little closer to him. "Easy honey."

"I thought you told Jack you'd sacrifice yours to save his... at least that's what he told me."

He laughed and pulled her toward him by her waist. "They're already yours." Alexandra laughed and looked down prompting him to duck his head down to force her eyes back on his. He proceeded to lean in and kiss her, immediately letting his aggression take over as he slid a hand up to latch onto the back of her neck.

"I think you're getting off too easy," she whispered, bringing her lips back to his.

"Let's just hope it's not too quick." Negan laughed against her lips again and readjusted her legs so both of her knees were positioned on either side of his. "You know... it's healthy to fuckin' fight once in awhile in relationships. It makes you want your partner more right afterwards and brings you closer together"

"Yeah?" Alexandra ran a hand through his hair making him lean his head back against the wall again. "State your source."

Negan unbuttoned his pants and looked down. "That's my source." When he looked back up at her Alexandra had a wide smile. He put a hand on the side of her face. "I'm sorry honey... again."

"It's okay," she said right away and then added. "Again." Alexandra kissed him hard and sighed when his hands began to urge her shirt up. She ducked out of it and wrapped her arms back around him. "Alright, fuck it... let's fulfill that farmer fantasy."

Negan laughed again. He barely opened his eyes to meet hers through a squinted stare, "The mouth on you when you're mad at me..." Negan kissed her, "Fuck."

Alexandra laughed again against his lips and then decided to get over her temporary bout of anger in the best way she knew how.


	4. Meeting

"No way! This is so cool!" Sarah and Eric hurried up to where Mikey, Vince and Casey returned from scavenging.

Mikey pushed a four-wheeler forward, steering it down the road. He nodded at the two of them with a grin and kept on his way.

"Where did you find this?" Eric asked him.

"He can't hear you," Sarah reminded him and hurried a few steps ahead. She put a hand up and Mikey stopped. She spoke more directly at Mikey. "Where did you find this?"

"Find it?" he asked.

"Yeah." She gave him a thumbs up.

"In that neighborhood," Mikey said back, "The one with all the solar panels... in a garage."

"Cool." Sarah grinned and nodded at Eric as Mikey continued on down the road with the all-terrain vehicle.

Vince approached where the two of them still stood and motioned to Sarah. "Where's your dad?"

She laughed, "Negan?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know." She raised her eyebrows. "Is something wrong?"

"I'd just like to speak to him."

"He's probably at the house." Sarah looked over her shoulder.

"Thanks kid." Vince walked past them down the street and Sarah glanced at Eric.

"Sounds like something is wrong to me," she said.

"We should just stay out of it."

Sarah grabbed his hand. "You're with me... be brave."

Eric smiled at her and allowed her to tow him in the direction of the house, purposely keeping their distance from Vince as they went.

"Hey what was it like driving around out there?" Eric asked quietly.

"It was fun."

"Think Negan would teach me to drive?"

She shrugged without taking her eyes off of Vince. "Maybe."

Eric cleared his throat and whispered. "Can you ask him?'

Sarah glanced over at him for a moment with a grin. "Sure."

He pointed up ahead when Negan walked toward Vince from the back of the Manor. When he caught Vince's eye they exchanged a wave and Vince approached him. The two men met up, exchanged a few words and then Negan got on a radio he had been carrying.

"What are they saying?" Eric asked aloud, not really directing it toward Sarah.

"No idea." She waved him around the back of their house and then crept in closer to try giving a listen.

For a moment neither of them spoke but soon Matt jogged in from the direction of his home followed closely by Casey and Mikey.

"Something's up," Sarah suspected. She glanced down the road when she saw Alexandra approaching from the same way Negan had come. Her expression showed her confusion and she walked up to Negan.

"I'll fill you in at home honey," he vowed. "I promise."

"She looks mad," Eric whispered.

"She's probably pissed that me and him went out driving." Sarah looked around and wondered aloud, "Where are Lucy and Joe?"

"At Matt's house."

She looked at him and he nodded in confirmation.

When Alexandra walked away the group of men began to walk in the opposite direction. Negan stayed out for a moment and stared across the street as she began to pass by the medical building.

"Hey Alex!" He called after her to which she simply shouted back, "I'll see you at home!"

Sarah waited as Negan struggled as to what direction to go in. When he trailed after Vince and the others Sarah waved Eric with her again. Reluctantly he followed but listened to every command she gave him.

"They're meeting in the barn," she whispered, witnessing the group wander in through the big doors before Negan dragged his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets as he joined them.

"Come on," Sarah tugged on Eric's sleeve when Negan disappeared inside. "There's a ladder up the back. We'll go up into the top and listen from up there."

"What?" His eyes were wide and she snickered with amusement.

"Just come on..."

Sarah hurried around the barn with Eric just a step behind her. When he caught up to her he glanced over as they ran with a smirk and then took off faster.

"Oh no way," Sarah said with a laugh as she chased him behind the barn.

"I win!" Eric playfully gloated with a grin as he reached the wooden step ladder first.

"Cheater." She smiled when he continued to and then the two of them hurried up into the upper lair of the barn that overlooked where Negan and the others were gathered.

Sarah put her finger to her lips and proceeded to army crawl through the hay that littered the wooden rafters until they were nearly just above where the men talked. Eric followed her lead and the two of them laid on their stomachs, using the darkness in their favor.

"It's not a definite but it's a possibility," Vince said. "The whole area and then some was infested."

"How far?" Negan asked.

"That neighborhood where, uh... where Richie died," Casey explained.

"You're still pulling shit from there?"

"Yes sir. It goes way beyond what we thought."

"Bottom line is it's been overrun with the geeks," Vince went on. "And by overrun I don't mean fifty or sixty even."

"Either way," Negan said, "What's the fuckin' problem?"

"They are around us by the masses... swarms like I haven't seen since the beginning of all this," Vince informed them. "They're may eventually find their way here. It isn't far."

"And it's on purpose," Casey added.

"How do you figure?" Matt asked.

Nwgan put his hands out. "You don't even seem to know if they're actually fuckin' coming this way."

"Migration," Casey said, "If they stick to the trail they could be upon on the weeks to come."

"What's the on purpose part?" Matt asked again.

"They've got spikes in 'em," Casey said, "Some armored with helmets and others have what looked like..." he crinkled his nose, "Gizzards or livers or other gross shit at he end of the spikes in front of 'em to keep 'em marching forward."

"Weird shit," Vince concluded.

Negan ran a hand along his beard and thought back to the Sanctuary and the type of makeshift armor Eugene had put on some of the walkers.

"Think it's them people Negan?" Vince asked. "Because I am just about damn ready to pull a full blown don't fuck with us attack on them if you were to stand by it."

Negan cleared his throat and shook his head despite letting the idea pass through his mind. "No... no I wouldn't think they'd go through the fuckin' trouble. Not in that way."

"Then who?"

"It may not be fuckin' anybody Vince. Shit, it could be nobody. They could be a stray herd."

Casey began to shake his head but Vince went on over him. "Either way it's no good. They're disrupting our runs at best and at the worst they are heading straight for us and looking mighty hard to kill."

Negan looked around. "Well what the fuck do you suggest we do?" Frankly he didn't want to be bothered with it.

Vince looked around. "I was hoping you could help with that... that all of us could... maybe get a team out there to start taking them down, cut the numbers out."

Negan huffed a laugh. "I have a bum fuckin' leg. I'm not chasing the undead around the fuckin' town."

"Its more than that," Casey explained.

Negan turned and began to walk away but Vince called him back.

"Negan..."

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

Negan looked around the group and then shook his head. "I'm going the fuck home to my family," he said firmly and pointed to Matt, "He's the leader of this place, not me. Run your ideas by him." He turned again. "I'm going home."

Sarah looked over at Eric and raised her eyebrows. She motioned toward the back window they'd climbed through. "Come on," she whispered, We got what we came for. Let's get out of here."

"What about the undeads they were talking about? What if they come for us?"

"If Negan isn't worried, then it's no big deal." She began to crawl back through the hay. "Now let's go."


	5. Round Two

"Thank you so much." Alexandra and Kismet exchanged a hug and she stared the purple, homemade bar of soap in her hand. "This is so resourceful... amazing."

"It's not too tough," Kismet assured her with a smile. "If you're ever bored stop by and we can make some together."

"Great." She nodded, "I'll take you up on that."

"I'll see you tomorrow." She bid a farewell and headed out the door as Alexandra took the stairs to the second floor to put the soap by the sink.

Lucy's voice filtered out from her room and Alexandra tiptoed to the door to see what they were up to so she wouldn't disturb them.

"JoJo it's this one." Lucy pointed to a small, wooden block with the letter "C" written on all sides. "Look A, B..." She pointed the respective blocks that were already in line and removed a random letter "J" that her brother had put third. "And C." Lucy placed the appropriate block in its place.

Alexandra smiled to herself and continued to quietly observe and admire their children. A part of her wanted to go in an praise Lucy for being so good with her younger brother as she attempted to teach him the basic of the alphabet but she allowed them to continue without interruption.

 _It's the little things_ , she reminded herself.

The front door opened downstairs and she heard Negan come in as he cleared his throat and trudged through the living room to the kitchen. "Alex..." He called out.

Alexandra gave a final look at Lucy and Joseph who hadn't at all been distracted by his voice and then took the short flight of stairs to the first level. She rounded into the kitchen and nodded toward him.

"So what was that all about?" she asked him.

Negan cleared his throat again. "Supposedly there's some herd of walkers heading this way from that neighborhood we'd been taking the solar panels from, and some other shit."

"Is it something to worry about?" Alexandra asked.

"The guys seem to think so... Vince and Casey."

"Isn't that far enough away? I mean won't they start to stray in different directions."

"Who knows." He reached for a half empty bottle of water that sat on the counter and drank it all in one chug before setting the empty bottle back down.

"So why the secret meeting then?"

"Secret meeting?" Negan shook his head. "There wasn't a secret meeting."

"In the barn..." Alexandra raised her eyebrows. "Isn't that where you all ended up?"

The front door opened and closed again, prompting both of them to look in the direction. Alexandra gave a wave as Sarah walked in. She waved back and slunk upstairs toward her room.

"Sarah?" Negan asked Alexandra, who gave a nod. He then changed the subject, "What are we having for dinner?"

"What's the story?" she challenged, not accepting a subject change.

"What fuckin' story?" He asked.

"Are you guys planning on going out there and taking down this... army of walkers?"

"There's no fuckin' plan Alex."

"You can't move as fast as you used to." She motioned to his leg, "If something ever happened-"

"There's no plan," Negan said a little louder. "I'm not doing-"

"Anything," Alexandra finished. "Just like you weren't out driving around right?" When she shook her head and began to turn away from him he crossed the kitchen.

"I thought we fuckin' talked about this earlier," he said, "An hour ago in the barn. Everything was fine then. I told you-"

"I know what you told me," she reinforced, "But I also know that you'll hide things from me to try to protect me from what's really going on."

"Nothing is really going on," Negan insisted. He put his hands out to the sides as he spoke.

Alexandra tried to bite her tongue, knowing the next sentence might send him over the edge but she couldn't help herself. "If you say so."

Negan put his hands on his hips and let out a frustrated exhale through his nose looking like an angry bull. "What the fuck does that mean? If I say so..."

"I want you safe," she raised her voice just slightly, "And time and time again you tell me 'okay, I won't go out' just to shut me up and then you do what you want."

"Round and fuckin' round," Negan said, "Fuck, this is like deja vu from our last conversation. Why do I think this one isn't going to end with a good fuck like last time?"

Alexandra glanced toward the doorway that gave a view to the stairs and then looked back at him and spoke quietly but sharply. "Shut _up_ Negan!"

He waved a hand and then turned his back to walk to the opposite end of the kitchen. "They don't fuckin' know what that even means."

"Yes, I'm sure Sarah has no clue," she whispered sarcastically. "And you shouldn't be saying it loud enough for Lucy to hear anyway."

"Oh now it's a fuckin' problem."

Alexandra put a hand on her head, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn't sure what to say next.

Negan took the moment of silence to take to a cabinet where they had a small bottle of Irish whiskey and poured himself a small shot glass sized drink. He slowly took the shot, letting the alcohol burn down his throat and then let out another deep breath before placing the glass down on the counter.

"Look," he spoke calmly, "I feel like I can't fuckin' please anyone right now. Vince came up to me when you and I were walking home and asked me to meet with all of them. Matt came, Casey was there. They told me about all of this shit and you know what I fuckin' told them?" Negan cleared his throat another time, "I told them I'm going home to be with my family... exact fuckin' words. They wanted me to stay, asked why I was fuckin' leaving and probably talked some shit when I kept walking. And then I come home, walk through the door and I get shit from my wife for it." He let out an unamused chuckle, "I can't fuckin' win."

Alexandra took a decompressing breath and looked down for a moment and then back up to him. The two of them stared at one another for a moment and then she nodded and walked toward him. "You're right," she said honestly, "You're right. I didn't even let you talk."

"Nope." Negan folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm sorry," Alexandra said, "I was still a little frustrated about earlier even though we talked it over and I just assumed that there was something else going on now that you were going to be thrown in the middle of." She shook her head, "I didn't know you told them that. I'm sorry," she said again.

Negan wanted to play it off like he was mad but he couldn't when she backed down so easily and looked at him with sincere, apologetic eyes. On top of it he knew she had let him off rather easy regarding his lie about leaving the walls with Sarah and so he reached an arm out and pulled her against him. "Come here honey."

Alexandra hugged him and laid her head against his chest. "I know this is round and round like you said," she went on, "But I just don't want anything worse to happen to you than what already has. A lot has happened to you, almost to the point where I don't know how you're still alive but I'm so grateful for it that I don't want you to keep taking chances."

"I told you earlier today that I wouldn't keep anything from you anymore," Negan said, "And I won't. It doesn't mean that there won't be times that we'll talk about a situation and disagree, but I won't keep shit from you. And I know why you thought I was fuckin' lying when I walked in here just now because I've done that shit before. Fuck, it may not always seem like it but I do have some fuckin' empathy. I get it." He took a deep breath and looked down at her, "I won't keep anything from you anymore... I mean it."

"Okay."

"But there may be moments of chaos in this world still," Negan reminded her, "Despite how good we have it here... there will be something else eventually... and if that happens it is in my nature to fight, not to run or sit out. If I sat back and did nothing and then something happened to you, Sarah, the kids..." Negan shook his head, "I wouldn't be able to live with that shit."

Alexandra swallowed hard and nodded. "I get it." She squeezed him a little tighter, "Maybe we should have a talk about all of that soon too. The 'what-ifs', good or bad."

He nodded. "Yeah..."

"Okay," Alexandra repeated. She laid her head back against him for a minute and closed her eyes.

Negan hugged her a little harder and grinned. "So, you done yelling at me today or is round three coming sometime tonight?"

She laughed against him. "I think you're safe but no promises."

He smirked and then kissed the top of her head. Negan looked up when he saw Sarah cautiously enter the room. When Alexandra turned to look over her shoulder Sarah shrugged with a tiny grin.

"Done fighting yet?" she asked, "I just came down to get an apple... fucking starving."

Negan smiled and then laughed and let his arms loosen around Alexandra as she separated herself from him.

"No more cursing in this house," Alexandra told them.

Sarah gave a look to Negan and raised her eyebrows.

"Guess we'll have to go outside the walls to fuckin' curse from now on," Negan joked, prompting Alexandra to turn to look at him. He let out another laugh and pulled her back to him. "I'm just kiddin' honey." Negan used his free arm to point to Sarah, "Get your fuckin' apple kid."

"I can't fucking win," Alexandra said quietly with a laugh.

"That's the spirit honey."


	6. Let Negan Be Negan

A majority of the Manor residents were gathered on the green, scattered amongst the picnic tables, standing around the perimeter or lounging in lawn chairs they'd brought themselves. Surrounding the group were lighted torches and a bigger, controlled fire glowed in the center.

"We don't have the ammunition to take them on." Matt repeated this phrase several times over the course of a conversation that took place amongst the members of the Manor community.

"We need to do something," Vince argued.

"We can't waist the bullets," Jack added, shaking his head. "No way."

Negan, Alexandra and Sarah sat in the back taking it all in and distracted Lucy with coloring books. Joseph sat on Alexandra's lap.

Kismet and George shared a picnic table with them, the two of them leaning over with their elbows on the dingy, brown wood facing where Negan and Alexandra had their backs to them, facing Matt.

"You're sure they'll make it this way?" Nancy asked them. She stood up from where she had been sitting in a chair a few feet away and folded her arms. "This seems awfully risky to go out hunting them when they may not even come here."

A few people openly agreed, backing Nancy with, "Yeah" and "That's right!"

"If they get here it may be too late," Casey explained, "Take it from me. We lived on the road a long time just going from place to place. We dealt with herds before but this could be bad."

"You said some were armed with spikes or some shit?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Vince said with a nod, "And others had metal secured to their heads... melted down. They won't be easy to kill."

"So how do we even try to take them down?" Nancy asked again.

George put his lips near Kismet's ear. "This is the kind of thing I was afraid of when rejoining society down here," he whispered.

"I don't know how to take them down," Matt admitted. He looked to Vince who thought for a moment.

"Stabbing them in the head..." Annie said in a voice so timid that no one bought into the idea because of the mass amount of walkers that were being talked about.

"There are too many," Casey said again, shaking his head.

"Start a fucking fire!" Negan said loudly from where he sat.

Alexandra glanced over at him as he crossed one leg over the other and outstretched his arms along the length of the picnic table where their backs rested.

"A fire?" Matt said back.

"You say this undead army or whatever the fuck it is has the fuckin' numbers to do this or that..." He shrugged it off again as a threat, "Start a God damn fire out there and let the fuckers walk right into it. Minimal resources, even less work and you don't have to deal with the spikes or the metal heads."

Everyone continued to stare at him until he motioned to the fire pit in the center of them all. "Problem fuckin' solved. Can we all go back to our houses now?"

"It makes sense," Nancy said, agreeing with his idea.

"How are we going to make a fire big enough to kill them all?" Vince asked.

"Light the streets on fire," Negan said, prompting people to laugh all around. When he didn't laugh with them or so much as even smile the tone abruptly switched back.

"You're serious?" Vince asked.

"Fuck yeah I'm serious."

"That could cause a mass fire," Matt said, "How would we control it?"

"The neighborhood where you saw them is far enough away from here," Negan reminded them.

"If they're still in that area," Casey added.

"So scout it out, spread some fuckin' gasoline and-"

"What if they walk into it and then don't die."

"Kid, you need to let me fuckin' finish when I'm talking."

"Negan." Alexandra raised her eyebrows at him.

"What?" He asked sharply, "That's the only fuckin' shot anyone has at getting rid of them. If they're on fire and they walk a quarter of a mile before it puts 'em down then so fuckin' be it. If half the woods go up in flames who gives a flying _fuck_?" He rose to his feet and glanced down as Lucy stopped coloring and looked up at him.

"Dude, relax," Sarah whispered, drawing no response out of him.

"I think what he's saying," Nancy began, attempting to bring his point back to light in a more calm fashion. "Is that this will kill many of them rapidly. There is no other solution as far as I can see." She nodded, "I agree with his idea but we've got to cut them off far enough away from here so it doesn't trickle into our community.

"And if the woods catch fire?" Matt asked, "It could eventually lead to here."

"From what these two young men say the undead are already on their way here," Nancy reminded everyone, "So we may as well take that chance."

"No one has really addressed what would happen if the undead were on fire walking around," Casey stated.

Negan threw his arms up in the air and shook his head. "I'm pretty fuckin' sure I addressed it," he said, "Shit, come up with a better fuckin' solution then."

"Daddy." Lucy continued to look at her father, "I want to go home."

Negan took a breath and reached his arms down, scooping her up into his arms. Without another word he left the meeting area, drawing looks from everyone including Alexandra and Sarah.

Nancy looked at Alexandra a moment and the oversized crowd remained silent.

"The fire makes sense," Sarah said loudly. "There is no other way to kill them. We don't have enough bullets. We aren't going to stab them all one by one if the herd is as big as you say." She put her hands out to the sides, "What the hell else are we going to do?"

"I agree with it too," Jack said with a nod. "We could get someone in the back of a pick up drizzling gasoline or other flammable shit. At the end of the road someone lights a match. Done."

Alexandra looked over to her left and saw Negan carrying Lucy, who rested her head on his shoulder as they approached the house. She felt a lump in her throat, knowing Negan had been struggling with right and wrong, and who to please. She partially felt responsible for his minimal outburst and so she stood up from where she sat, turning toward George and Kismet. "Could you please fill me in on what decision is made?" she asked quietly.

"Of course," Kismet said with a nod and waved a hand in the direction that Negan had gone, "Go."

"Thank you." Alexandra looked back to Sarah.

"I'm staying," she replied, "I'll be home soon."

She nodded and then hugged Joseph a little closer and trailed after her husband. Alexandra looked over her shoulder once before she entered the house.

"Negan..."

"Upstairs." His voice was calm but anything but happy.

Alexandra took the stairs and entered Lucy's room where Negan laid in the center of the tiny bed with his feet dangling off the end. Lucy laid with her head on his chest and Alexandra couldn't help but smile for a moment. "I'd be lying if I said this wasn't the cutest thing I've seen in awhile." Neither of them smiled and she shifted Joseph to her opposite arm. "What's going on?"

"With what?" he asked.

"With the outburst at the meeting." Alexandra gave another toothless smile. "Is it about our discussion the other night? Do you feel trapped here?"

"No." Negan let in a deep inhale and exhale.

Alexandra went and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'll make some... adjustments."

"What are you talking about?" He looked more directly at her and moved his arm away from Lucy, who grabbed his arm and draped it back across her.

"I thought about it," she told him, "I'm crazy to think that you should be stuck behind these walls forever. That's something I'll have to get over... not you."

"Alexandra-"

"I mean it."

"I'm fuckin' torn." When Lucy gave a hard tug on his hand he apologized to her, "One day I'll get better at that for you baby." Negan looked back at Alexandra who subconsciously smiled again. "A part of me wants to be left the hell alone. Like I'm retired or some shit. But there's no taking a break from this world."

"There's always more," Alexandra reiterated the highlight of their previous conversations, "I know. And I have to start being realistic about it. It's in your nature to lead. You need to get back to playing that role."

"I don't know if I want to." Negan sighed and Alexandra leaned down and kissed Lucy's forehead first and then his.

"What about JoJo?" Lucy asked. She leaned up and kissed her brother on the forehead making both Negan and Alexandra laugh lightly.

"That was nice Lucy," Alexandra praised her, "You're a great big sister."

"I want this," Negan said, "Everything that's in this room... and the other one still fighting out there at that meeting."

"I know." She nodded, "But it's okay to want more."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I laid awake last night for a little while after you fell asleep and I just started thinking how wrong I was to try to keep you locked away here." Alexandra shook her head, "That's not what you signed up for when you fell in love with me, and as hard as it's been I fell in love with everything about you. You're not someone who should be locked away or told what to do - not even from your wife." She smiled and he returned it but she went on. "Well, sometimes you can take orders from your wife."

Negan chuckled and reached a hand out to grab hers but Lucy pulled his hand back down around her again and then gave a big yawn. "Go to bed kiddo."

"Sleep in here," she demanded as her eyes began to close.

"Okay," Negan agreed.

"What I'm saying," Alexandra went on, "Is that you can have both. Go lead this community out there during the day and come home to me at night. Work life, personal life... just like in 'real life'."

"You're serious?"

"The Manor needs leading," she pointed out, "Look at how that meeting went out there. Matt has said it before. He'll listen to you." Alexandra swallowed hard and then took in a deep breath, "Just please be safe... in whatever you do."

Negan looked down at Lucy who's breath were steady and heavy as she'd since drifted off to sleep against him. "I'll talk to Matt in the morning." He laid his head down flat on the pink covered pillow and then closed his eyes. "Can you pull my boots off honey?"

Alexandra nodded and smiled before setting Joseph down to do as he asked. "Sleep tight." She stripped off one boot after the other and placed them neatly at the foot of the bed.

"I'll probably have a bad back after sleeping here for a couple of hours."

"I'll bring JoJo with me." She smiled, "I may stay up until Sarah gets in." Alexandra watched as Negan quickly drifted off to sleep before they could continue the conversation. She smiled another time and then tossed a blanket over them that didn't quite cover Negan's whole body and then hit the lights in the room and quietly left to head back down to the first floor.

Alexandra made her way to the couch and sat in the silence for a few minutes as she talked with Joseph. "Is your mama crazy?" she whispered, toying with his cheeks.

"Mama," he said back, giggling to himself when she smiled and smothered his cheeks with kisses.

"You're not nearly as tired as your sister, huh? You're wide awake." Alexandra sighed and bounced him on her lap, "So is your mama." She glanced out the window still seeing the flames around the ongoing meeting and wondered what everyone might be talking about.

 _Another conflict_ , she thought, _at least it's not with other people. We can handle the dead ones._

Alexandra was confident that this was the case but the mild panic of Casey and Vince still had her uneasy. She turned back to Joseph. "No one's getting in here," she told him, "Dead, undead or otherwise." As much as she wanted to keep Negan safe and sound she knew there was no one better to assure that would happen than him. In order for their community to be safe from threats of all kinds she had to allow her husband be himself. She had to let Negan be Negan.


	7. Ring of Fire

The next night had Alexandra thinking back to the Sanctuary days when Negan sketched out plans for the missions he conducted right when they first got together. He had been so focused on his plans but had always made time to check in with her, or give her some type of gesture that let her know he was thinking of her.

Alexandra watched him now as he sat at the kitchen table with a map of the area outstretched in front of him that he had drawn neatly on with red marker as he calculated how to go about the plan that the others had set into motion the night before. Sarah had dropped in several times in an attempt to keep up. Lucy had provided him with momentary distractions and he took a little time to play with her each time she approached him before returning to what he was doing.

"How's it going?" Alexandra twisted off the cap and set down a beer beside where he worked.

Negan leaned back in the chair and reached for the brew, taking a swig from the top of the bottle. "Not bad. This shit should be fuckin' easy." He sighed and looked at her more directly, "You're okay with this?"

She nodded. "I haven't seen you this focused and... happy in a little while."

"Focused maybe... happy no." Negan shook his head, "I'm happy with you."

"But you're happy leading these people too. It's okay to have both."

Negan half-smiled and nodded. "You get me like no other honey."

"I know," she said quietly and leaned down to kiss him on the lips.

"Where's my boy?"

"Sleeping." Alexandra grinned at him.

"I gotta spend a little more time with him." He ran a hand through his hair. "You going to give me a haircut or are you still a fan of it growing a little long?"

She chuckled and ran a hand through his full, salt and pepper hair that still favored the darker color, "I like it a little longer." Alexandra smiled and continued to toy with the hair that hung just barely over the tops of his ears before evaluating the back by his neck line. She nodded in a form of self-confirmation. "Definitely long."

"Alright," Negan agreed. He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them after feeling her lips against his forehead.

"So you'll all just be starting a few fires and leaving the undead to walk into them?"

He nodded. "That's all."

"Sounds easy..." Sarcasm hung in her voice making Negan chuckle.

"I'll say I pulled a muscle if you want," Negan teased, "And stay home."

Alexandra laughed lightly. "Just be careful... I'm probably sounding like a broken record... or an old lady."

Neither of them said anything but Negan smiled at her as she played with the hair around his ears.

"I'll let you get back to it." Alexandra gave a final run through his hair with her fingers.

"That felt good." He smiled and pulled her in for a kiss again and then leaned back over his papers, "Thanks honey."

"You're welcome." She smiled back and headed away to leave him to his work.

* * *

"You all know this area," Negan said to a group of men and women that agreed to actively take part in a plan he allowed Sarah to name 'Ring of Fire'. "Vince is going to lead a team, Casey is going to lead another, then Matt and I'll take the fourth team. Each leader will give you a map and a station. We all connect and then we come back."

"Who's with who?" a woman asked from the back. She folded her arms across her chest.

"I have lists," Negan explained, "You'll go with whoever calls you out to go over the plans." He looked to Matt, "I'm thinking of taking this thing on by tomorrow since these things are apparently gaining ground on our place."

He nodded. "Yeah... yeah that works."

"Okay then." Negan looked around and pointed at the main players. "Take your people and head somewhere where you can go over this shit. We can all meet back here around ten o'clock to discuss it."

Vince was the first to say, "Okay," and then everyone echoed before Negan took his turn first calling out people to go with him.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Sarah rushed over to him when he didn't call her name. "I'm not going with you?"

"You're not going period." He informed her.

"That's bullshit."

"Yeah... I know it is," he admitted, beginning to walk with his selection. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

"Still not going."

"Why?"

Negan glanced down at her as she kept his pace. "I need you to help with my kids," he said honestly. "Sit this one out will ya? If there's a next time I'll let you come as my wingman... or wing-woman, whatever."

Sarah wanted to fight him on it but decided not to. She nodded. "Alright."

"Thanks kid." Negan patted her on the back and kept going as she tailed off toward the house. "You can come check shit out if you want."

She shook her head. "Nah. I'll go hang with Alex."

Negan nodded with a wave. "I'll see ya at home then."

Sarah waved back and then took her time walking through the yard, up the steps and then in through the front door. She tried to be grown up about the decision Negan had made but couldn't help but feel a slight bout of disappointment. A fleeting thought crossed her mind to go spy on them but she decided to call it a night.

She kicked off her shoes and then quietly took the stairs. Sarah went to knock at the bathroom door at the same time Alexandra was coming out.

Both of them jumped back an inch or two, startled by the other and Sarah glanced down. Her eyebrows raised when she noticed a pregnancy test in her hand.

Sarah let her eyebrows fall. "And here I thought I was in for a boring night."


	8. Street Smarts

**I swear Ive been so absent minded these last few days! Thanks Guest for the heads up about the chapter. Here's the actual Chapter 8!**

* * *

"It's still going to be a boring night," Alexandra informed her, switching off the light to the bathroom.

Sarah gave a look and trailed her down the stairs. "It doesn't look like it."

"Well things aren't always what they appear." Alexandra crossed through the kitchen carrying the test in a napkin. She then reached for a few more paper towels and tossed it into the garbage can that sat near the back door.

"So, the family isn't... growing?" Sarah asked.

"No."

"I'm officially confused."

"Well when you only have one piece of the story then you would be."

"Can you tell me the whole story then?"

Alexandra quickly washed her hands and then turned to lean on the counter. "It's a negative test."

"Oh." Sarah shrugged.

"That's that."

"Are you upset?"

Alexandra shook her head. "No. It's..." She cleared her throat. "Never mind."

Sarah decided to change the subject, seeing Alexandra didn't want to talk about it. "It smells funny in here."

She laughed, "Incense." Alexandra crossed the room toward the table and pointed toward a small wooden board, "Kismet brought some over. Do you like it?"

"It's alright." She raised her eyebrows and fiddled with the device. "Do you think the walkers will ever be gone? I mean like gone gone?"

"It's tough to say." Alexandra sighed, "I'd love to see a world where it was just humans and animals and... nature. But there are so many probably all over the world I imagine it'll be hard to completely get rid of all of them."

"Well what about in this area?"

"I fantasize about life being the way it was sometimes," she admitted, "With the people here. Going to the store on a Saturday morning, getting a coffee at Dunkin' Donuts. Going to a concert or a ball game..." Alexandra shook her head, "I'd like to think one day it'll be possible."

"What about the movies?" Sarah added, "And ice skating? I had a birthday party once where we all went ice skating."

Alexandra smiled at her. "That sounds fun."

"Yeah. It was."

"What kind of cake did you have?"

"Half chocolate, half vanilla." Sarah smiled thinking about it, "With chocolate frosting. They had those fake candles in it where you can't really blow them out."

"Oh, I hated those." Alexandra laughed and Sarah smiled.

"Yeah." She pulled up a chair and sat down at the table prompting Alexandra to do the same. "Ya know when things got all messed up at the Sanctuary... I don't know what happened to my sister. She wasn't at the Hilltop."

Alexandra wasn't sure what to say so she put a hand over hers on the table. A part of her wanted to tell Sarah that she was sure she made it out alive and well, but she wasn't sure this was true. Sarah was too advanced to simply buy into her words.

"It was a crazy time," Alexandra said with a nod, "We could have checked the other communities... the Kingdom maybe. I haven't been there but Negan said it was like an utopia there or something."

"What's that mean?"

"Like... paradise."

"Why didn't we try it out then?" Sarah asked, "After we escaped the Hilltop, or now."

Alexandra cleared her throat, "They don't have the best past with Negan either."

"I could go for some chocolate cake right about now." She smiled and Alexandra nodded in agreement.

"You and me both." She paused, "How come you're not out with the rest of them planning out the mission?"

"Negan told me to stay... so I came home." Sarah looked at her more directly, "Do you think we could ever live without walls?"

Alexandra shrugged. "I wish I had an answer for that too."

"Maybe this plan will wipe out all the walkers in our area and we could maybe start roaming around more."

"It's very possible. I know our community will be expanding soon. More people are starting to have children, or think about it at least. People have jobs in here now."

"But this little area won't hold us all forever if we keep growing. What then?"

"You have some excellent questions tonight," Alexandra told her with a laugh. "But I don't really know."

Sarah nodded and glanced around the kitchen in a break in the conversation. She eyed a small tie-dye bag slumped in the corner behind the table. "Hippie bag." She pointed and Alexandra turned with a chuckle.

"Stop calling them that," she said, "You and Negan."

"They call themselves that," Sarah said with a chuckle.

Alexandra rose to her feet and went and scooped up the bag. "I better go give this to Kismet."

"God forbid they don't have their pot brownies," she joked.

"How have you even heard that term?" Alexandra answered her own question before Sarah could, "Negan... never mind." She shook her head and slung the bag over her shoulder, "I'm going to have to start laying the hammer with him and his mouth."

"Hey I have to know things... better from him."

"You don't have to know that," she argued with a laugh.

"Street smarts." Sarah tapped herself on the side of the head.

"Street smarts alright." Alexandra shook her head, "I'll be back in five minutes. Are you okay to stay with them for a sec?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah."

"Thank you." She went to leave and then stopped. "Hey... are you okay here? Are you happy?"

She nodded again and repeated herself, pressing her eyebrows together. "Yeah... why?"

"Just checking. If you ever want or need to talk about anything don't hesitate. I'm sorry that I don't ask you things like that more often."

Sarah smiled. "I'm more than okay here, but I'll let you know if something's ever up."

"Okay." Alexandra nodded and headed to the front door, "I'll be right back."

"Alright." Sarah watched her go for a minute and then searched the cupboards for something to snack on.

A red and white can filled with Campbell's chicken noodle soup caught her eye and she quickly set up a pot on the stove before dumping the contents in. Sarah tapped her foot as the burner began to heat up and stirred the soup around a few times before pacing the room back and forth a few times. She checked on the food again and then thought for a moment before letting curiosity get the best of her.

Sarah wandered toward the garbage can and looked around before grabbing a paper towel and reaching in to shuffle through the top lair of stuff. She almost stopped herself but her interest urged her to follow through with the plan she had in mind. She pushed the napkins away that covered the pregnancy test and stared down at the little white device. When her eyes landed on the little plus sign at the end she quickly covered it back up and tossed the paper towel down to cover it before washing her hands and tending to the soup on the stove again.

 _Shit,_ she thought, _I'm never going to be able to keep my mouth shut about this._


	9. Superman

Negan walked into the house and glanced over at Alexandra who sat in the living room under a pale light with a book.

"House smells funny," he pointed out, looking around.

Alexandra grinned. "I swear you and Sarah are related," she gave a tiny laugh, "They're incense... from Kismet."

"Oh Jesus," he laughed and plopped down on the couch beside her, "Hippie dust."

"Stop. I think those two are just... great. For lack of a better word."

Negan smiled and allowed her to kiss him once.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Good." He nodded, "I know I say shit like this a lot but this should be easy as fuck. It's just the fuckin' dead ones."

Alexandra nodded. "I'm glad." She looked at him, "Why didn't you let Sarah go? Not that I want her out there in that mess with you but she's usually your handy little sidekick."

"Yeah." Negan scratched the back of his head, "I don't want to see the kid get hurt, she's been through a lot of shit... and I figured you could use the help with the kids if we're out there for a few days." He leaned back on the couch and crossed one foot over the other, "She didn't even give me shit back. Makes me feel bad."

"So you want her to give you shit?" Alexandra asked with a laugh.

"I didn't think I'd say this but... yeah." He laughed with her for a moment and then draped an arm around the back of the couch where she sat. "The guys are all out having a few beers and they made French fries from the potatoes. Think it's too late to bring her out there and talk to her?"

"Too late?" She snickered, "I don't think midnight is too late for Sarah."

Negan raised his eyebrows. "Good point."

"No beer for her though."

"Course not." He winked and kissed her on the cheek before standing up and heading up the stairs. When he got to Sarah's room he gave a knock and it only took a few seconds for her to fling open the door.

"Hi." She smiled at him.

"Hi." Negan pressed his eyebrows together, "You going to sleep?"

Sarah shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. "No... why?"

"Come out to the center of town with me. Guys grilled up some fries and Anne made some of this cheese sauce shit to throw on top of 'em."

"I'm not mad at you," she told him with a laugh. "About the whole mission thing."

"I know," Negan waved a hand, "Get your shoes on and let's go."

Sarah nodded, "Alright." She looked at him for a moment, "Did Alex talk to you?"

"About what?"

"Anything..."

"Did you do something-"

"No," Sarah cut him off right away, "Forget it." She grinned and headed to her closet to grab a pair of beat up, white Adidas sneakers before joining him in the hallway.

"Where'd you get those sneaks?" he asked as she struggled to put them on as she tried to walk at the same time.

"Oh... they were Eric's old ones. I liked them so he gave them to me."

Negan laughed as they headed downstairs. "What a sucker."

"I'm his queen bee."

He laughed again and Alexandra began to chuckle upon hearing the tail end of the conversation. "Have fun," she said, lifting her eyes from the book as they wandered outside.

"Be back in a bit." Negan shut the door behind them and hurried over to where the initial meeting took place. A small fire was going and a handful of people still lingered eating and drinking.

"Smells fucking delicious," Sarah said as they approached, "I've been so hungry since talking to Alex about chocolate cake... fries will do though."

"I'm glad we can fuckin' accommodate your cravings." He smiled and shook his head but reached for a few small helpings of fries and grabbed a beer for himself and a soda.

Sarah followed him to a picnic table that was away from everybody else and watched as he struggled to get himself seated on top of it. "Are you going to be okay going out there?" she asked, climbing up with ease to sit beside him.

Negan popped a fry into his mouth and twisted the beer open before looking at her. "You know who the fuck I am right?"

Sarah eat a small handful of fries and began to talk before the bite was complete. "Yes," she admitted, "But you're not fuckin' Superman."

He sighed and took a long sip from the bottle of beer. "Yeah... I know."

"I mean you just struggled to get up onto the picnic table. I know your back is more fucked up than you lead on and your limp-"

"I got it," Negan cut her off and looked at her with annoyed stare.

"Hear me out?" she asked.

"Go ahead."

"As kind of your daughter... who cares about you... what would happen if the walkers were surrounding you guys and you had to climb up onto something?"

"Kid," Negan looked back at her again, "It's not just physical shit out there, it's mental. You have to plan and know what the fuck you're doing, it's half the battle. A bad plan will get you killed, Superman or not. A good plan and using your fuckin' brain will go a long way."

Sarah nodded. "Okay... you got me." She tapped her soda can against his beer, "But even good plans fail sometimes."

"That's right." He reached onto her plate and grabbed a fry, purposely making a face as if to say 'what are you going to do about it?'

Sarah laughed lightly and shook her head before stealing his and doing the same. "So what if the good plans goes awry?" she asked, tossing another fry into her mouth.

Negan ran a hand through his hair. "I don't have much of answer for that shit kid."

"You and Alexandra both... she couldn't answer any of my hypotheticals tonight either."

"You're getting old enough to realize that sometimes even adults don't know everything about everything."

"Sucks." Sarah grinned and looked down as Negan passed her the beer bottle. She smiled, "For real?"

"If you want."

She laughed again and looked around before grabbing the bottle and taking a long swig before sighing and handing it back to him. Negan laughed when she made a face and he continued to drink it himself.

"That... kinda sucks," she admitted with a laugh.

"Good." Negan chuckled, "Stick to the soda."

"Did you do that on purpose?"

He shook his head and continued to eat his fries, "Nah. My dad used to sneak me sips of his beer when I was a teenager. If my mom found out she'd yell at him." Negan chuckled thinking of the memory for a moment and shook his head before taking another sip. "Funny shit."

Sarah lightly slapped a hand down on his shoulder. "Be careful out there tomorrow."

Negan laughed. "What the fuck's gotten into my little warrior?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just know Alex was really sad last time... so was I. The kids are too young but Lucy missed you." Sarah laughed. "She thought you were out looking for goats for the farm."

Negan chuckled. "Alex is good at a lot of things but she's a terrible fuckin' liar."

The two of them shared a light laugh and he sighed again.

Sarah snatched the beer from his hand and took another sip before making a face again. "Nope, just... nope."

Negan laughed and put an arm around her for a half hug and then let her go. "You're a funny fuckin' kid. Thanks for not breaking my balls about leaving you behind in all this."

"Just don't get yourself killed." Sarah sipped her soda this time. "You want more kids?"

Negan turned to look at her. "Talk about a fuckin' subject change."

"Just making conversation."

"Two kids and you is like having ten already." He laughed and continued snacking on the fries.

"Ehh what's one more?" Sarah asked casually, taking one of his fries again.

Negan smacked her hand away from his plate making her laugh. "Did Alex say she wants more kids or some shit?"

"No," Sarah said right away. "I'm just trying to think of other things besides the mission tomorrow."

"You want to talk about kids over a fuckin' battle with the walkers?" He asked, "Was there an alien invasion I wasn't fuckin' aware of and they took over you brain or some shit?"

Sarah laughed and then shrugged. "Just getting older I guess."

"Don't rush that shit... please."

Sarah leaned a head on his shoulder taking him off guard. "Thanks," she said.

"For what?"

"For taking me in like your own kid. I'd probably be dead without you and Alex." She swallowed hard. "I thought you were dead when we couldn't find you after Carl shot you. I heard that damn song on one of the mixed CDs I have that was playing in the car yesterday."

"Oh yeah?"

She took in a deep breath through her nose. "Yeah. I cried. I hate to cry."

Negan finally loosened up and put an arm around her. "Well... you know you're like a daughter to me kid. Don't get me all sentimental the night before a big fuckin' mission." He gave a laugh and Sarah straightened back up, drying her eyes from the one or two tears that dropped when she briefly relived their near death experience.

"Chin up little soldier," Negan said, nudging her. He dumped the rest of his fries onto her plate and placed the bottle down to fold his hands together in front of him.

"I'm going too soft." Sarah shook her head and laughed. "Kick some fuckin' walker ass tomorrow."

He laughed and patted her on the back. "That's the Sarah I know."

Sent from my iPhone


	10. Shake On It

Negan paraded around the house with Joseph on his shoulders as Lucy trailed behind him the entire time looking for attention from her father.

"Pancakes are almost ready," Alexandra informed them, placing two onto a stack that was set beside the stove. "Sarah!" She glanced down at her bedtime attire of oversized sweatpants and a long-sleeved maroon thermal.

"Coming down now!"

Alexandra turned with a laugh as Lucy had attached herself to Negan's right leg. He slowly entered the kitchen, swinging his leg with her on it in his struggle to walk properly.

"Go get your food Lucy," he said, nodding his head as he took Joseph off of his shoulders and secured him against his chest. Joseph whipped his head around to take in what was going on upon Negan facing him in the opposite direction.

"I'm not hungry," Lucy told him, refusing to let go.

"Come on," Negan urged, reaching his free hand down, "We'll share a plate then."

"Okay," she agreed without a fight and finally released his leg from her grasp.

Sarah hurried into the room, "Smells good."

"How many?" Alexandra asked her, "Three? Four?"

"Three," Sarah said, and then hurried to help her with the food.

"I want mmm... five." Lucy held up all five fingers on her left hand and Negan laughed.

"I thought you weren't hungry kiddo," he said, "Five?"

"For you and me," she pointed at him first and then to herself.

"And JoJo," Negan added.

"No." Lucy shook her head. "JoJo can have his own."

Alexandra smiled and then made up a plate for Sarah first and then the two of them. "I'll share mine with JoJo." She handed Negan the stack for him and Lucy and then reached for their son, taking the remaining two for them.

Sarah sat down at the table with Lucy dragging Negan at her heels.

"Want some syrup Lucy?" Sarah took a couple spoonfuls out of a mason jar and then slid it toward them.

Lucy reached for it with both hands and Negan pushed it toward her the rest of the way. "Thanks."

When Alexandra and JoJo joined them Negan looked around. "One big happy family," he said, winking at Alexandra.

She smiled and broke off a piece of the pancake, slipping it into JoJo's mouth. "That's us."

Sarah took a big bite. "Two empty chairs. Maybe one day they'll be filled."

"Kismet and George," Alexandra teased with a laugh. She refocused on their son and broke off another piece. "Open up Joe."

"You could have your little friend there join us some time," Negan told Sarah.

"Who?"

"Eric."

She laughed and took another bite while beginning to shake her head. "He's scared of you."

Alexandra let out a short, quick laugh and exchanged a glance with Negan.

"Kid's got good instincts." He took a bite from the stack of pancakes and then handed the fork back over to Lucy, "Good for him."

"Please," Sarah said, "You're all bark and no bite."

"Ruff ruff," Lucy said, laughing when Sarah smiled.

Negan wiped his mouth with a napkin and looked back to Alexandra. "You okay to hold down the fort for a night?"

She nodded and helped herself to bite. "Yeah."

"Sure?"

Alexandra nodded again. She looked around the table. "Right girls?"

"Right," Sarah said right away.

Lucy turned toward Negan and worked her way onto his lap from the next chair over. "Where are you going?"

"To find some more goats for the farm." He winked at Alexandra, who gave a closed-mouth smile.

"No," Lucy told him. "Last time you were gone for a long time."

"I'll only be gone one night," he promised. "I'll be here when you wake up in the morning."

Lucy put her face down against his chest and Negan gave Alexandra a look.

"You'll be here with my and Sarah and Joe," Alexandra assured her. "We'll play games. You can color."

"I don't want to." Lucy muffled her words against Negan.

"Look at me Lucy," he encouraged. When she didn't move he tried to adjust so she would pull away from him but she clung to him tighter. "You have to be good for your mom kid."

When she kept her face against his chest and didn't say anything he stood up, making her head snap up.

"She's alive," he teased with a grin.

Lucy stared back at him with a scowl at first and then she curiously ran her hand across his beard. "Don't go Daddy."

"I won't be gone long. I promise you." Negan adjusted her in his arms and held a hand out. "If you shake on it it means you can't lie."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Shake my hand and I promise you I'll be back before you wake up tomorrow morning."

Lucy looked at his hand, a hint of skepticism in her eyes, and then slipped her tiny hand into his with a firm shake. "Okay."

Negan kissed her forehead and set her back down. "Now go finish your breakfast and be nice to your mother."

When Lucy slowly made her way back to the table Negan gave a wink to Alexandra and exchanged a grin with Sarah.

"What time are you going?" Alexandra asked him, slipping Joseph another small bite as his hands clawed for the plate.

"Not until this afternoon."

She nodded at him and forced a smile. "Easy peasy..."

"Lemon squeezy," Negan finished with a smile. He rejoined them at the table and allowed Lucy to feed him a big bite from the plate they shared.

"If you had another kid," Sarah shoved an oversized bite in her mouth, "Would you want a boy or girl?"

Alexandra shrugged. "Wouldn't matter to me." She laughed, "I don't think we'll be having another one any time soon."

"A boy," Negan said, snatching up Lucy fast from the seat beside him to pull her onto his lap. He tickled her, making her belly laugh and beg him to stop. "Because these women are too attached to me."

"Stop!" Lucy laughed, giggling so hard she could barely breath.

"Negan," Alexandra laughed with them, "Make sure she doesn't choke."

He stopped, "You chewing?"

Lucy took in several deep breaths, still donning a wide smile. "No," she breathed.

"Good." Negan tickled her again making her belly laugh some more and then eased up and placed her back onto her own chair with a red face and a head of messy hair.

She pushed her dark hair back before reaching for the fork and taking another bite. She laughed to herself again and continued to eat.

Negan looked to Alexandra, "Help me pack a bag later?" He grinned, "That kinda thing always needs a woman's touch."

Alexandra snickered, "I'll help you."

"Thanks doll." He winked and then glanced over at Sarah, "For helpin' Alexandra take care of these two... I'll give you unlimited driving lessons this week."

Sarah nodded. "Deal." She held a hand out for Negan to shake and looked at Lucy, "See, he's not lying about this whole handshake thing."

Negan reached across and shook her hand.

"Be safe," Sarah told him at the same time as Alexandra.

He chuckled and shook his head. "My girls..." Negan laughed again, "My girls, my girls, my girls..."


	11. Out of the Cage

Negan tossed a backpack over one shoulder and reached for a set of keys that started the truck he'd stashed with small amounts of gasoline and other flammable material. When he threw on a black baseball hat Alexandra smiled and slid her fingers across the brim.

"I like it," she told him.

Negan laughed "Incognito," he told her.

"Don't remind me of why you need to be." Alexandra took a deep breath and then leaned in and kissed him once. "I'll never stop worrying."

"I know." He kissed her again. "I'll be back soon."

"How far away from us will you be lighting the fire?"

"There's a drop off a couple miles from here, small cliffs that lead down into an open field." Negan nodded as he thought of the plan they would be putting into action. "We're going to lead 'em there. Start the fire in the street and then stream it down to the field. Hoping the fuckin' place is dry enough to spread and then we'll have a big pit of flames."

"I'll pretend it'll be that simple. It'll help me sleep tonight." Alexandra took a deep breath.

Negan adjusted his hat. "I'll be back by then."

She put a hand on his cheek and smiled and then then called for Lucy.

"Lose the leather jacket," Sarah told him.

Negan turned toward the table where she sat eating a bowl of cereal. Before he could say anything she went on with her first thought.

"Those assholes know you where a leather jacket. Hoodie will do the trick." Sarah took another bite, "Pull up the hood too. It'll add to the 'disguise'."

He grinned and decided to appease her by unzipping the jacket. At the same time Sarah reached to the next seat where a dark blue sweatshirt was crumpled up in a ball. She tossed it to him and Negan snickered.

"You're not half bad to have around, ya know that?"

Sarah spoke with a big bite of cereal in her mouth. "Feeling's mutual."

When Lucy's feet scuttled across the kitchen floor Negan spun around and scooper her up into his arms and held her high above his head. "Be good little one."

"I will." She giggled.

"Practice the bike today."

"Okay."

Negan dropped her down and kissed her cheeks before setting her down and held his hand on. "Shake on it."

Lucy smiled and grabbed his hand with a nod. "Before I wake up tomorrow?"

"Before you wake up."

Alexandra walked Joseph into the kitchen, holding his tiny hands as they went and Negan lifted him in the same way he did to Lucy making him giggle.

"See ya little man."

Joseph reached for Negan's nose and then patted him on the face lightly with his hand.

Negan chuckled and kissed him on the cheek before handing him back to Alexandra. "Well, I'm going to take a leak and then hit the road."

"Keep in touch over the radio if you can," she told him.

"You got it honey." He took the stairs to the second floor and Sarah hurried over to Alexandra.

"Are you going to tell him?" she whispered

"Tell him what?" Alexandra asked.

Sarah cleared her throat and then shrugged. "About the test..."

"What?"

"The test. I saw it in the garbage," she confessed, "The little plus sign means positive, right?"

Alexandra began to shake her head and then Negan came back down the stairs. He tossed the car keys to himself once and then kissed Alexandra. "I'll be in touch."

"Bye Daddy." Lucy waved. Joseph mimicked her movements, waving to Negan as he stood upright with a hand on the wall. "Bye bye bye," he rattled off.

Negan kissed them both on the top of the head and then gave a wave, pointing at Sarah as he went. "Thanks for stayin' back kid. We'll drive when I get back."

"Okay." Sarah nodded and looked at Alexandra once more before Negan headed out the front door.

...

"Two trucks per team," Negan glanced around the collection of vehicles that waited at the gates. "We ready guys?" He looked directly at Matt first and then to the other group leaders consecutively.

"Ready to get all this manure out of my truck," Vince said with a laugh, "Smells like shit."

"It is shit," Casey told him, grinning.

Negan chuckled with him. "I'd say we're ready then."

"This could clear most of the area of these things," Matt said.

"That's the idea." Negan waved a hand, "Let's fuckin' go boys." He headed to his truck and gave the thumbs up to Jack in the tower before leading the trail of trucks out onto the road. Negan turned up the knob on the radio and then changed the CD when the same round of songs he had been listening to began to play.

When the first song of the CD began to play Negan rolled down the window and let his arm hang out. He began to sing along to the words of Up Around the Bend.

"How can you be so calm?" the man riding shotgun asked him.

Negan glanced over for a moment. "It's Ben right?"

The man nodded.

"Well, Ben... you better get on the same damn page as me. Because fear out there will get you fuckin' killed... or me killed. I can't have that shit, ya got me?"

Ben nodded and took in a deep breath through his nose.

Negan reached into the center console and toss him a packet of cigarettes, "Take the fuckin' edge off will ya?"

He let out a nervous laugh and looked around. "Light's the glove box."

"Thanks," Ben said with a nod, reaching for it.

"Light me one up too."

He pulled out two cigarettes and handed one to Negan before lighting them up.

Negan eyed the road but accepted the light and then took a drag and a deep breath. He sighed and then smiled, letting his arm drape out the window again. A fleeting thought of Sarah's disapproval of his occasional smoking habit passed through his mind and he grinned to himself before puffing out a mouthful of smoke.

Ben sighed next to him and mirrored Negan's position.

"Shit's good isn't it?" Negan huffed a laugh and turned up the radio. "Fuck... it's good to be out of the fuckin' cage." He laughed to himself and smacked Ben on the shoulder before nodding along to the music.


	12. One Day At a Time

"Fuck, I drew the short straw on this shit." Vince unloaded the barrels of the manure they'd kept from the farm animals and shifted his head to the side to avoid coming into direct connect with the stench. He motioned to Casey, "I think the new guy should do it."

"Hey, I'm not so new anymore."

"Newer than me." He grinned and continued on with what he was doing.

Negan stood on his hands with his hips as their group stood in the center of the road with the cars parked in several short lines. He paced the area and walked to the cliff that overlooked the field where they intended to create the fire. "Shit... this plan should work... in fuckin' theory." He turned to Vince, "You want to take me to where this fuckin' herd might be now?"

Vince placed down the barrel he was holding and nodded with a sigh. "Yeah."

"We'll lead them this way... fire's should be set by then." He looked to Matt, "Right?"

Matt nodded. "We'll keep in touch on the radio."

"Casey," Negan said with a grin. "Take over Vince's shit, will ya?"

Vince chuckled and gave Casey a brotherly smack on the back of the shoulder before following Negan to the truck he'd been driving.

"It looks really dry down there," Matt told them. "What if the fire gets really out of control?"

"Isn't that what we want?" Casey asked.

"To an extent."

"We're here Matt," Negan reminded him, "We can't turn back and do nothing."

He nodded. "I know."

Negan twirled the keys in his hand and looked back down toward the field before waving Vince with him again. The two of them hopped into the car to seek out the herd in hopes of drawing them in the direction of the fire.

...

Alexandra made her way down to the barn with her children and found joy in watching them interact with the animals.

"JoJo it's a goat," Lucy pointed at first and then reached up and ran her hand along the back of its head.

"Ma!" Joseph pointed toward the animal while looking at his mother and Alexandra quickly scooped him up and then leaned him above the animal so he could give it a pet the way Lucy had.

"This is my favorite part of the Manor." Kismet approached the three of them with a smile and looked up at the barn, "It's peaceful... feels normal."

"Yeah." Alexandra followed her gaze, "I've been finding myself hanging out down here a lot more lately. The kids love the animals."

"I pray every day for the safety of this community," she admitted. "We just love it here. Even George has come around despite the conflict with the undead."

"Have you..." Alexandra cleared her throat, "Have you talked to George?"

Kismet smiled and then nodded before glancing down. "It was a discussion we've had for years but I never could foresee it actually happening... until we found you all and this place."

"Maybe the series of events was meant to be."

"I like to think things happen for a reason." She sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Your deliveries went well you've said,."

Alexandra nodded. "Both of them, yes." She looked down at Lucy for a moment and then back up. "Sarah... she saw the test."

Kismet raised her eyebrows. "Oh, I don't mind if she were to know. I just don't want the whole town-"

"She thinks it was for me." Alexandra let out a chuckle but shook her head, "I was walking out of the bathroom with it after you left that night and so she wouldn't ask questions I told her the test was negative and then threw it away. She must have seen it afterwards and then brought it back up earlier this afternoon."

"You didn't tell her?"

She shook her head. "Negan interrupted the conversation before we could go on and I've kind of avoided it. I don't want to spread your news, especially since you wanted to keep it quiet for now."

Kismet shrugged. "It will be well known sooner than later." She smiled, "You can tell Sarah the truth. I don't mind."

Alexandra smiled. "I should have known that she would investigate."

"She is certainly adventurous." Kismet laughed, "I love her spirit."

"Are you nervous?"

She shrugged. "I suppose. I mean this community feels permanent but I guess anything can still happen. I want to show a child love and kindness. I have lots of fears for the future but the important thing now is that a future exists. I want love and life to take over the darkness that was cast upon us for so long."

Alexandra nodded in agreement and then leaned in and gave her a hug. "You're such a good person Kismet. I've been reading and researching how to deliver a baby properly so I can help you and Casey's wife when the time comes." She smiled and let out a genuine, happy sigh, "It's exciting."

"Yeah," Kismet agreed, "It is."

"What did George say?"

"He's so even-keeled he just said 'great'." The two of them shared a laugh, "And then he started to chuckle and we kissed, took a walk and he made me dinner." Kismet nodded to herself as she relived the moment, "I don't know that I've felt so alive in a long time. Up there on that mountain was safe, secure. There was definitely solitude but we were at a stalemate. Nothing new was coming our way - for the good or bad. We had no comradery; no friendships. We were hiding from the world because we thought it was just one horrific nightmare." She glanced down at the children and then to the animals before running her hand over a tall stalk of corn, "But it's not."

"The world has come a long way."

"It certainly has."

"I know it has its problems but at least now we can have moments like this." She sighed, "Maybe this thing the guys are doing out there will rid the area of the undead and at least our area will be clear."

Kismet nodded, "Your husband is a brave man."

"He drives me a little nuts," Alexandra said with a laugh, "But I know I can't keep him locked up here the way I want." She shook her head with a small smile. "God knows I've tried."

She smiled. "He had me laughing almost every day when we had him up on the mountain."

"I don't know where he comes up with half of the stuff he says." She laughed again.

Kismet chuckled and looked more directly at Alexandra, "All he could think about was you and the kids," she informed her, "He asked us every day to take him home. We just had to wait until he was stable."

Alexandra smiled wide. "We're so thankful for what you and George did for him."

"Well you've certainly returned the favor by allowing us into your home... and giving us the chance to expand our lives."

"This is how the world could be again... people working together, being peaceful with one another. No more death. No more pain."

"That's the idea."

Alexandra nodded and looked up at the darkening sky. "Yeah..." She sighed, "One day at time."


	13. Wall of Flames

"Fuck me..." Negan glanced around from the short distance they'd left themselves from the world of walkers. "This many could cause some shit... some real shit."

"Yeah man." Vince's eyes scanned their surroundings. "We came face to face with it and just hoped we could stop them before they reached the Manor."

"We have to start the trail of fire here... get them moving in this direction, all of 'em." He looked around the area again seeing the walkers stretched out for what looked like miles. "Fuck fuck fuck..."

"You think we can still do it?"

"Only one way to fuckin' find out." Negan put the truck in park and opened the door.

"You want me to drive?" Vince called out through the back window.

"Yeah, I got this shit. Just take it slow." He hopped into the truck bed and titled their mixture of liquids off the end.

Vince shifted over into the driver's seat. "Be careful."

"I have to trail this off awhile before I head back to light the match... so get fuckin' driving." Negan glanced outward as the undead stumbled in their concert-like numbers in the distance. "We have to make this shit happen fast."

Vince took off rolling and Negan let the flammable mixture trail off behind the truck as he leaned over the side. He let the trail go on for almost a mile or so up until the point where Casey, Matt and the others waited as their fire began to blaze through the darkened sky.

"You set the trail?" Casey asked when the approached.

Negan nodded and looked down toward the field where the beginning of an orange glow started up a healthy fire. "Keep that shit burning. Have to go back to light the match. The trail of fire should lead the fuckers right down into this field here." He looked at Vince, "Ready?"

Vince nodded and spun the truck around, sending the two of them back down the long, dark road that led them straight for the oversized pack of walkers.

"Fuck, I cannot believe these things lumped themselves together like this," Negan commented from the back. He shook his head and rose to his feet, placing his hands on the roof of the car to look at the landscape ahead, "I underestimated the numbers."

The truck's engine competed with the growls of the undead that carried through the night air.

"We have to get out of here fast," Vince said.

Negan squatted down to speak in through the open window. "When we stop you have to start heading down that side street." He pointed, "I'll light the fuckin' match and then we'll bail that way and meet up with the rest of them."

"You know where that goes?" Vince asked, raising his eyebrows as he made eye contact with him in the rearview mirror. "What if they're already taking over there?"

"Vince if we go the route of the fire we're going to fuckin' catch fire," Negan said to him.

"Yeah..." He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know where that fuckin' road goes. It's about a quarter mile or less and then there's a left turn that runs parallel to this street. I'll tell you where to go from there."

"You're sure?"

Negan glanced around the woods that felt like they were whispering death notices. "Stop the truck." He rose to his feet reached into the pocket of his pants for the lighter he'd been using to light up cigarettes on the ride in. With just a little struggle he got out of the truck bed, using the tired to get himself to the ground with the least amount of impact possible and then made his way to the driver's side door. "Go Vince."

"I'll be a hundred yards away," he assured him with a nod.

"Fuckin' perfect." Negan backed away and allowed him to drive down toward the side street he'd pointed out before making his way to the origin of what would soon be the flame trail. The idea was for the walkers to bottleneck down the road following the fire and hopefully killing off a decent amount in the process. Those that made it all the way to the main site would be lured in by the bigger fire that dropped off into the field. All in all the mass walker kill would quite literally look like a version of hell on earth.

He took a deep breath and felt the heat of the walkers closing in on him as he glanced down at the silver zippo lighter. Negan glanced around the world for a moment and then decided it was time to light it up. Without another moment of hesitation he slid his thumb down the back of the lighter and then let it fall to the ground below where he stood. Immediately a ball of fire swept up into the air sending Negan stumbling a few feet back. He took a moment to check himself to make sure he hadn't caught fire and then stared ahead as the street became illuminated with a row of flames like a domino effect.

For a moment Negan stood there with a wide grin and then laughed to himself. "Cool fuckin' shit." He watched the fire spread down the road until he could no longer see the finishing point. With another chuckle he let the reality of the situation grab ahold of him and hurried down the road as fast as he could move. The tail lights of the truck sat signaling him in the distance and Negan almost felt like he could explode by the time he reached the vehicle.

"We good man?" Vince shouted from the driver's seat.

"We're fuckin' good." Negan could see the first wave of walkers now approaching. "We have to get the hell out of here." He struggled to get into the back of the truck and grunted as he used the tire to hoist himself back in.

"You in?" Vince asked. His voice shook. "They're here Negan."

The first walker from the pack stumbled up to the truck and slammed into the passenger side, clawing in through the half open window.

"Oh fuck!" Vince shouted and hit the gas sending Negan flying roughly into the bed.

"Fuck!" He reached a hand up for the window and glanced down as the walker that attacked them got sucked under the car and promptly run over as Vince barreled down the road.

"Negan! You back there?"

"Yes I'm fucking back here you stupid mother fucker." He put a hand on the side of his head from the fall. "Jesus your lack of fuckin' balls could've gotten me fuckin' killed if I fell the other way."

"I'm sorry."

"Fuck you Vince." Negan sat down with his back to the cab and continued to hold onto his head. "You're a fuckin' asshole."

"I don't know where I'm going." Panic rose just slightly in his voice but Negan spoke calmly as ever with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Go straight until you see your first left. Take it. It'll lead us right back to the road we were just on but past the fuckin' fire."

"Okay," Vince called back."

Negan shook his head and glanced over to where the fire they'd started could be seen through the trees.

 _Take the bait you motherfuckers_ , he thought to himself.

"Fire's looking good!" Vince shouted from the front again.

"Yeah it's looking fucking great," Negan said with little enthusiasm. He shook his head again and then stared down at the blood in his palm. "Fuck."

"You okay?"

"Yeah I'm just fucking fantastic."

"I'm sorry Negan," Vince told him honestly, "I panicked."

"Just get us the fuck out of here." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, not saying anything for several minutes until Vince asked for his next direction.

"We take another left?" Before Negan could reply he spoke again, "Holy shit. I guess we do."

Negan opened his eyes and stood up in the back. "Don't fuckin' drive!" he ordered, and then looked around. The fires had spread more rapidly than he anticipated and the glow from the field could be seen from where he sat with Vince in the truck. "Go ahead Vince."

Vince eased the car back into drive and took the left to head towards the fires where the group of men sat at a distance. A short series of honks from the horn signaled to them that they were back and Matt was the first to rush up.

"We were worried there for a minute," he confessed, "When the fire beat you back here."

"We went around the block," Vince explained. "Holy fuckin' fire."

"Holy fuckin' fire is right," Casey said. He pointed and everyone followed his stare. "Here they come."

"Should we get the hell out of here?" Matt asked.

"We need to make sure this plan is going to work," Negan said, "Looks good... feels good... but we have to witness this shit before we call it a night." He motioned to a short trail in the woods, "We could all go down here, sit back and watch... wait. Emergency happens we just hightail it the fuck out of here but that wall of fire should create the perfect barrier between us and them."

Casey chuckled and watched as a line of walkers already began their last march into the flames. "You don't see this shit every day."

"Time to sit back and watch our handy work gentlemen," Negan said. He motioned to the path. "Let's head that way. If shit goes as planned, we'll be back to the Manor by dawn."


	14. From the Ashes

Alexandra had been up and down all night, whether tending to the children or her own anxious thoughts. Several times she thought she saw the glow of the fire in the distance but she was sure it was her mind playing tricks on her.

Between her bed, Lucy's room, standing rocking Joseph and heading to the couch in an attempt to read when her mind refused to let her sleep, Alexandra didn't know where she had ended up until her eyes flickered open and the first rays of sun made way to a new day.

"Alexandra." Negan leaned his knee against the couch and his hand was placed gently on her shoulder. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep half sitting up until she was pulled away from dreamland into reality.

When Alexandra recognized that she wasn't dreaming she stood up abruptly and threw her arms around Negan, pulling him into a kiss that appeared to leave him a bit surprised as it took an extra second for his eyes to close shut when his mind caught up.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked him.

He snickered. "Not anymore."

"You're okay?"

"Yeah. We're back."

"The fire?"

"Most of the undead fell right into it. I didn't see a live one when we left."

Alexandra took in a deep breath and hugged him harder. "Thank God."

Negan held her close for a moment. "You need to rest honey." He pulled back and looked into her tired eyes, running his thumb across the bags beneath them, "Been up all night?"

"I tried to sleep," she confessed, running a hand through hair and taking a deep breath as she collapsed back into the couch, "Joseph was up half the night. I slept in Lucy's room until she fell asleep, then I laid awake in ours and finally came down here to read." She motioned to a book off to the side that was face down and open, "I don't know when I fell asleep."

"Why do I always do this to you?" Negan sat down beside her and kicked off his boots before draping an arm around her and closing his eyes when she leaned up against him.

"You do nothing but good to me."

"That's not what you said the other day," he said with a laugh, but pulled her closer when she gave him a look. "I love you. I really do. You put up with my shit better than most."

Alexandra smiled and nuzzled herself into the warmth of his chest. She let out a quiet yawn and closed her eyes.

"I'm tired," Negan told her in a voice just above a whisper.

"What time is it?"

"Just after five." He returned the yawn, "Back before breakfast as promised to Lucy."

"She'll be happy when she wakes up."

"Mmm..." Negan let his eyes close for a moment and reopened them slowly and then looked over when he felt Alexandra looking at him.

"Sleep with me before they wake up," she requested with a smile.

He smiled, looking like he was about to chuckle but he didn't. "In what sense of the word?"

Alexandra smiled and then tugged on a blanket that hung on the back of the couch. "Both."

Negan continued to grin as she slipped out of her sweatpants and laid back flat on the couch.

"Everyone's asleep," she assured him. "We were all up half the night."

"I guess I owe you one then."

Alexandra crinkled her nose with a nod and smiled and then laughed lightly when he leaned down and kissed her. She placed a hand on the side of his face and ran it up the side of his head. When he winced just slightly she stopped for a moment. "What happened?"

Negan raised his eyebrows and took in a deep breath through his nose. "Motherfucker stopped short, sent me flying in the bed of the truck."

"Are you alright? Do you need stitches?"

"You're the doc, doc." He grinned, "You can evaluate me when we wake up."

"I hope you don't have a concussion or anything. You're not to supposed to sleep for longer than a few hours at a time with a concussion."

Negan peeled off his shirt and pants before tossing the blanket over the top of both of them. "I'll have you get me an ice pack in a couple hours for old time's sake, how about that?"

"Like the Sanctuary days?" Alexandra smiled as he ran his hands up her arms and locked his fingers with hers above her head. Her eyes closed when he kissed her again.

"How did I not get to know you sooner?"

"Too busy being a big shot," she teased, making him laugh.

"You're right." Negan let his nose touch hers and then accepted another kiss when Alexandra lifted her head just slightly to connect her lips to his. "What a fuckin' idiot I was."

Alexandra couldn't help but smile. "I think we did just fine."

"Mmm-hmm." He kissed her again and felt as if the ring of fire mission with the walkers was far away after their brief reminiscent discussion about the Sanctuary. Negan brought his lips to ear. "I love you Alex."

She hugged his body to hers as he trailed kisses down the center of her neck toward her collar bone. "I love you too." Alexandra had no idea how long the intimate moment between them lasted because only a few minutes after it was over Negan laid snoring on top of her, cuddled against her chest. For several minutes she laid awake hold him beneath the blanket and ran a hand through his hair. The medic in her wanted to investigate the wound on his head but she was sure he would wake up if she put too much pressure on it and so she decided she would look at it later in the morning when they both had had a few solid hours of sleep.

Alexandra sighed and kissed his forehead before hugging him a little closer and finally drifting off into a deep, content slumber.

...

The last amber bits glowed in the ashes on the field from the fire that had spread throughout the night. Bodies of walkers were unrecognizable and a smell of the undead and burning filled the air so heavily that it would have drawn the attention of anyone passing through - or those that resided nearby.

"How could this have happened?" one woman asked as she stood on the outskirts of the woods overlooking the field.

"They've caused somewhat of a mess for us," another said.

"Somewhat? Half of our homes are gone; burned to the ground." She shook her head and took in the remnants of what was.

"We'll just have to take back what we've lost, that's all." She glared as she stared at the small city in ruins. "That and much more."


	15. Smoke

Negan and Sarah pulled in through the gates of the Manor and he guided her from the passenger seat.

"Easy..." a smile formed on his face when she cruised in without a problem and straightened out the wheel before coming to a complete stop and putting the car in park.

Sarah turned to Negan and a slow a grin spread across her face as he put up a hand to high-five her.

"Not fuckin' bad kid." He gave a laugh and then hopped out of the car as she removed the keys from the ignition.

The two of them walked side by side in silence for a moment and Sarah finally sighed.

"Casey and Vince are out there checking out the area you guys torched?"

"That's right."

She glanced down toward his legs as he limped along. "You hurt your head?"

Negan chuckled. "I bumped it. I'm fine."

"Alex thought you might have been concussed."

He laughed again. "You know... I think we understood each other better when you acted like a boy. Quit this girly shit, will ya?"

Sarah smiled and shook her head. "This place domesticated me." She motioned to the houses around them.

"It certainly has."

"Look." She pointed up ahead. "Lucy's on the bike again."

"And Kismet kidnapped my boy." Negan smirked when he saw Alexandra helping Lucy and Kismet standing next to George in the lawn with Joseph perched up on her hip.

"So have you talked with Alex yet?"

"I talk to her every day," Negan said.

"Well no shit," Sarah said.

Negan stopped walking a moment and turned to look at her. "Well if it's no shit then why do you ask?"

"I've been trying to keep it to myself but I can't, and Alex won't talk to me about it."

"About what?"

"You have no news to share with me?"

Negan pressed his eyebrows together and put his hands on his hips. "Will you stop talking in fuckin' riddles? What are we talking about?"

"The baby..." The words came out half like a question.

He shook his head. "Joe?"

"No." She shook her head back at him. When he motioned with his hand for her to elaborate Sarah finally spit it out, "Alex took a pregnancy test and she told me it was negative but I saw the result and it was positive."

Negan cocked his head back and looked like he was about to laugh and then turned toward the house for a moment before returning his stare to Sarah. A slow smile spread across his face.

"So... you're going to have another one?" Sarah asked finally when several seconds passed and he didn't say anything.

"You fuckin' with me kid?" He looked back to where everyone was out in front of the house again and returned a wave that Kismet gave them.

"No." She waited until he looked at her again. "Please don't tell Alex I told you because she never even told _me_."

Negan stood there for a moment and then continued on toward the house with Sarah keeping up right next to him.

"Please don't tell her," she requested adamantly again.

"Okay."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Mad at you for what?"

"Being girly enough to investigate this and not being able to keep a secret?"

Negan looked over at her for a moment and almost laughed but he couldn't. "When did you go on this covert operation to find out this information? Because if Alexandra didn't tell you then you had to do something sneaky."

She shrugged. "A few days ago."

Negan thought back to their conversation when they sat on the picnic table eating fries, and then again when she made the comment about filling all the seats around the table when everyone sat down for a meal together. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We may need a bigger fuckin' house soon... fuck."

"You're not happy?"

"Drop it," he told her as they got closer to where everyone was.

"Daddy!" Lucy screeched and waved as Alexandra slowed the bike down.

"Two hands," Negan instructed with a smile as she quickly got off and ran up to him. He scooped her in his arms and then readjusted her so she sat on his shoulders.

"Does that hurt your back?" Alexandra asked. She walked up and put a hand on his forearm with a smile.

"Nah I'm alright."

"How's your head?"

Negan gave a half-smile. "I'm fine."

Alexandra looked at Sarah. "How'd the driving go?"

"Good." She smiled, "Better right?" Sarah looked to Negan who nodded.

"Yeah she did a good job today." He glanced upward and Lucy, "You're next."

"Joseph's been a little fussy," Alexandra explained, "I don't think he's feeling well."

"You're not letting these two feed him some of their special brownies are you?" he joked, smiling as Kismet began to shake her head while George gave a laugh.

"Ignore him," Alexandra said to the two of them.

"I hope you don't mind us borrowing little JoJo," Kismet said.

Negan smiled, "You two are like family to me," he said honestly, "After what you did."

She waved modestly at him.

"George and Kismet are going to stay for dinner," Alexandra told him. "I thought maybe we could all eat outside, have a nice meal together." She raised her eyebrows with a smile and he nodded.

"Abso-fuckin-lutely." Negan felt Lucy pull on his hair when he said the word and smiled to himself. "Sorry Lucy."

"We made brownies for dessert if that's alright," George teased.

"Brownies?" Lucy's eyes lit up and Negan snickered and pulled her down off his shoulders, kissing her once on the cheek and then allowing her to scamper up ahead of them to bombard Kismet and George with questions of what was to come for dessert.

"Look at that," Alexandra said with a smile, "Are we already old news to the kids?"

Negan shrugged. "I guess so."

She looped her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment as they began the walk up toward the house. When he didn't immediately look at her Alexandra leaned back. "Is everything okay?"

Negan glanced over at her and couldn't keep a genuine smile from his face. He put his arm around her and then kissed her forehead. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Just tired honey." He rubbed her arm and kissed her a second time before sighing.

"What are we having for dinner?" Lucy asked. She reached for the doorknob and Alexandra was about to answer when they heard a loud boom and the sound of gunshots.

Negan ducked as Alexandra clutched the front of his shirt and then ran immediately to where Lucy stood with Kismet, George and Joseph.

"Mom?" her little voice was frightened.

"Negan..." Alexandra picked up their daughter who clung to her.

He looked at Joseph in Kismet's arms and then there was another round of gunshots that made him spin around to face the main gates. Smoke filled the air stemming from whatever had just caused the explosion and shook his head before whipping back around to face them. "Go inside," Negan ordered, "The basement. All of you."

"What about me?" Sarah asked.

"You too," he ordered. Negan lightly pushed her back until she joined the group by the front door. He looked at Alexandra again, "Arm yourselves. Lock the doors."

She shook her head and he motioned to the door. "I mean it. Go." Negan reached for the gun on his hip and nodded with his head for them to go inside.

Alexandra grabbed the collar of his shirt and looked him in the eye. "Be careful Negan please." Her eyes were filled with fear and she asked him before they went inside, "Do you think it's them? Do you think it's Rick? Carl?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "Just keep yourselves locked away down there until I come back."

She nodded touched the side of his face, leaving a single kiss on his lips before he hurried away toward the main gates.


	16. Savages

Negan rushed to the gates of the Manor, finding some sense of unison when other men were heading in the same direction. As he grew closer he could see Jack ducked down at his post behind a wooden structure holding his firearm.

"Jack!" Negan called as quietly as possible, drawing a look from their lookout.

Jack pointed toward the wall down the way to the right and Negan felt every muscle fiber in his body tighten up when he saw that part of the wall had been knocked down. Quickly, he positioned himself behind the truck that was still parked out front where Sarah had left it and waited to see if anyone would emerge. Others that had made the trip down did the same, ducking behind whatever the could with their weapons raised.

"Get on the radio and get as many armed men down here as you can!" he shouted a whisper up the tower, "Did Casey and Vince come back?"

He shook his head and tried to peer over the top of the wall. "They're down there." Jack then quietly slipped the radio off his waist and began to radio in for help.

Negan clenched his jaw and refocused, motioning with his finger to two others on the opposite side of where the hole was in the wall to try signaling that there were people out front. His first guess was that it was Rick's people. There were no others that came to mind that knew of his whereabouts and despite the dormant nature of their feud there were certainly still tensions that lingered.

Another explosion rang out and Negan ducked down a little further, startled from the loud bang.

"We have plenty where that came from!" a male voice shouted out loud.

"You know," another man's voiced shouted again, "We can come in here any time we want."

Negan hesitated a moment and then decided to call his bluff. "Yeah, come on then! You're on our home fuckin' field right now so go ahead!" He saw everyone turn in his direction but no one stormed through the gates.

"Do you know who the fuck I am?" the voice called again this time.

"The great and powerful fuckin' Oz?" Negan yelled back. He paused and then slowly opened the vehicle, removing a baseball bat.

There was a bout of silence and Negan glanced over as a young woman of twenty-three or twenty-four hurried up beside him to take cover behind the truck with a gun in her hands. Others followed closely behind and settled in with an attempt to defend the place.

"Hi," the woman whispered, "What the hell is going on?"

"No fuckin' idea," Negan told her and then squinted, "We've never really met I don't think. Who the fuck are you?"

"Jane," she said quietly, "I live on the opposite side of the med building. You're Negan."

He stood up to look over, "These assholes are bluffing and blowing shit up with the little weaponry they have."

"What do we do?"

Negan looked her up and down, "Do you even know how to fuckin' use that thing?"

Another round of gunfire opened up and then there was silence. Jack looked down. "Negan!" he shouted, "Vince and Casey!"

"What are they fuckin' out there?"

"Yes."

"Fuck."

"No, it's alright." Jack shook his head and waved him on, "Go out now! Attack now!"

Negan gritted his teeth and then darted toward the open portion of the fence waving Jane with him. Others followed suit and Jack moved back to the front of the tower and began rattling off shots.

When Negan rounded the corner to the outside Casey held a gun to one man's head while Vince had another on his knees. There were others scattered about who turned with their guns raised as Negan and the others emerged.

"Don't shoot!" the man one the ground shouted.

"Well fuckin' well." One man never turned his attention from Casey, "Would you look at that?"

"Go to hell Jeb." Casey tightened his grip around the man's neck but the adversary never let his weapon down.

"Don't," the captive man called out, "Jeb don't."

"Shut up," Jeb ordered.

Negan pointed his gun at the man, "Drop the fuckin' gun."

Jeb looked at him only with his eyes. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me?"

"Did I stutter asshole?"

Negan felt his blood pressure raise and paced up to the man on his knees in front of Vince with his hands up. Without question he tucked the gun he was holding in his pants and took a swing at the man's head sending blood spattering in all directions.

The world went blank for a minute after that. He heard someone's command to aid in the attack after his initial blow and the look on Jeb's face, who he assumed was one of the leaders, was exactly what he had hoped for. A single gunshot sent the man Casey held to the ground and now he was face to face with Jeb holding the pistol in his face.

"Negan stop," the voice was female and he turned for a moment in his chaotic pursuit of the dead man on the ground. Jane stood a step behind him with the gun and then jumped when a bullet whizzed by her head.

"Fuckin' shit." He snatched the weapon from her hands and began firing at the enemy, who began to flee back toward their waiting vehicles. When he turned back to her he had a scowl on his face and shoved the gun back into her hands, "Go the fuck home. Fuck."

"But-"

"Go before you fuckin' get yourself killed!"

Jane paused a moment and then took off running in the opposite direction. Negan glanced around as the chaotic scene unfolded and people scattered in all directions leaving just a handful of people from the attackers in the vicinity while the others fled.

"Holy shit." Matt let out a decompressing breath and Negan glanced over as he wandered up to him where Casey and several others held men at gunpoint and forced them to the ground.

"How do you know this piece of shit Casey?" Negan asked, pointing the bat at Jeb on the ground.

"He was one of the founders of the group I used to be with," Casey replied.

"Oh one of the fuckin' asshole racists that didn't approve of the relationship between you and your woman?"

"Yeah." He nodded and looked directly at the man, "That's him."

Jeb smiled and then glanced down at the dead man on the ground. "Fuckin' savages."

Negan walked up to him and stared him down. "You fuckers blew up our wall. That shit doesn't sit well with the people of this community."

"You destroyed our homes."

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Casey asked.

"The little fire you set," he shook his head, "We were residing in the woods, the trees, in houses out there. It took the people there years to build it up."

"What happened to the rest of our other community?" Casey asked again, pushing the gun into the back of his head.

"What you mean after your little girlfriend's people came in and ruined shit for us?" Jeb huffed and squinted up at Negan, "I'm with these people now."

"You're one of the leaders to this shithole campground you call a home?" Negan taunted.

"Until now because you pricks burned shit down."

"The walkers would have gotten you eventually if we didn't kill them," Casey explained.

"Walkers?" Jeb laughed again, "Casey you are nothing if not a chameleon... blending in with whoever and whatever."

"How many people do you have out there?" Negan asked, stepping forward.

"I don't fuckin' know."

Negan stepped forward and took a half swing toward him making the man shut his eyes and cry out before beginning to laugh. "You know Mr. Louisville Slugger you could at least pour me a drink to calm my nerves now."

"You don't think he'll do it?" Casey shouted.

"Oh, I know he'll do it." Jeb smiled and nodded toward his dead comrade on the ground. "I just don't think he'll do it to me. I have too much informat-"

Negan swung the bat fiercely into the side of Jeb's face and raised the bat to swing again but stopped himself. He thought about the damage to the walls, the scared look on Lucy's face and the disruption the group had caused all of them.

Jeb's body was slumped over in a puddle of his own blood that now he continued to choke on and cough up. Negan squatted down in front of him and spoke quietly, noting the other members of the opposing community looked on with terror in their eyes.

"I told you you were on our fuckin' turf," Negan said, grabbing him by the collar so he could look into his dying eyes. "But you kept running your fuckin' mouth and I can't have that shit." He lowered his voice some more so only Jeb could hear him, "Not with my kids running around behind those walls." Negan shook his head and scowled at the man, "No that's just not going to fuckin' work Jeb." He rose to his feet again and looked around, "Let this be a message to the rest of you. I'm truly, very sorry for what happened out there in the woods to your homes. I really fuckin' am. But those walkers would have eaten your fuckin' people alive anyway so at the end of the fuckin' day we did you all a favor." Negan pointed the end of the bat at a man a few feet away, "Didn't we?"

He nodded adamantly, "Yes. Yes." His voice shook and he adjusted his stare back to Jeb who couldn't speak amidst the blood and the pain.

Negan squatted again and forced Jeb to look at him. "Still want that drink?" He turned an ear toward him and waited, "I'll take that as a fuckin' no." When he rose to his feet again Negan brought the bat down over the top of his head three or four more times before looking around at the faces of those on his side and the opposing. They all stared similarly and Negan stared down at his bloody hands and felt the spatter on his face.

"Do what you want with the rest of these fuckin' men," Negan ordered, taking a deep breath as he came off the rush of adrenaline. He made eye contact with Matt who looked as scared as some of the enemies. "Get guys to rebuild this part of the fuckin' wall." He gripped the handle of the bat and walked in through the open space in the wall, disappearing back inside the Manor.

Negan felt a tightness in his chest and he closed his eyes from the small amount of pain that almost left him breathless before regaining control of the feeling. He tossed the baseball bat toward the truck and then headed down the empty road toward his home.


	17. Oxygen

Negan put a hand on his chest again and then hurried toward the center of town and collapsed to a seated position against the medical building, unzipping his jacket as he did. He tossed it to the side and felt like his world was getting blurry. Tunnel vision started to set in and he closed his eyes and put his hands on his face.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself, immediately reaching for the center of his chest again.

"Negan, what happened?" Nancy's frantic voice broke his erratic thoughts but he couldn't look up to her. "Are you hurt? Are you shot?"

He shook his head and breathed in heavily a few times. "Nancy."

She hurried down, squatting in front of him and began to pull at his shirt in search of a wound. "You're going to have to talk to me."

"I can't fuckin' breath."

"Were you hurt out there?"

Negan swallowed hard and shook his head. "I think I'm fuckin' having a heart attack."

Nancy motioned with her hands. "Lay down flat on the ground." She reached for his jacket that he'd taken off and put it under his head as she laid him down. "I'll be right back," she promised, "I'll be right back."

He put his hand over his chest and struggled to breath. The time between Nancy leaving and coming back felt like days. When she returned she held a pill and some water and then lifted his head.

"Swallow this," she encouraged, remaining calm and professional.

Negan wanted to ask what it was but he trusted her and couldn't get the words out. He struggled and swallowed the pill and then felt Nancy strap something across the back of his head and just after his nose and mouth were covered with clear plastic.

"It's oxygen," she assured him, "You'll feel some relief in a minute." She turned the knob on a small green tank it was attached to. "We've had this awhile. Never had to use it." Nancy's voice was soothing and she tried to keep him calm. "Breath normally if you can."

Negan's chest heaved up and down as he took in deep breaths at first before he managed to steady out his breathing.

"Just nod or shake your head to the questions I'm about to ask." Nancy kneeled beside him and ran her hand over the top of his head, undistracted by the madness that was still going on at the gates of the Manor. "Do you have pain in your left arm?"

Negan swallowed hard and closed his eyes before shaking his head.

"How about in your neck?" She traced a hand down along the left side of his neck and shoulder.

"No," he choked out.

"Just shake your head. Don't excite yourself any more than you have to." Nancy took a deep breath, "On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst... is the pain in your chest between an eight and a ten?"

Negan shook his head and held up a hand with all five fingers raised.

"A five." She nodded and turned the knob on the oxygen tank, releasing a little more. "Is that better than before?"

He nodded and let out a breath. Negan hesitated a moment and then replied. "Yeah."

Nancy continued to run her hand through his hair. "You need to just lay here. Don't try to move or talk or get up."

Negan reached a hand up to touch the oxygen mask but otherwise did what she asked. He closed his eyes and let out decompressing breaths.

"Any pain on the left side at all?" Nancy asked again after a few minutes.

"No." He cleared his throat and was tempted to take off the mask but he didn't. "I feel... better."

"Did you ever experience pain in the left arm?"

"No."

Nancy continued to sooth him and was pleased when he didn't fight her. She let out some more oxygen and had an idea about what might have happened but didn't say it out loud because she was sure Negan would get riled up from the name of the potential diagnosis - a panic attack. Rather she decided to distract him with things she thought might aid in calming him down some more.

"Lucy is really getting the knack of riding that bike."

Negan closed his eyes again and nodded.

"And Joseph looks so much like you."

"Yeah."

Several minutes of silence went by and Negan finally removed the mask from his face though he didn't sit up. "I was fuckin' blacking out Nancy," he said quietly.

"How's the pain in your chest now?"

"Better."

"Less than a five?"

Negan nodded. "Yeah."

"I think you're going to be just fine." Nancy ran her hand through his hair again. "What happened out there?"

He took a deep breath and allowed her to continue. "They busted a small section of the wall." Negan hesitated and swallowed hard before continuing. "We chased them off."

"Is anyone hurt?"

"Not on our side." He put a hand on his forehead. "A few of theirs are. The rest of them left."

"Rick?"

"No." Negan looked up at her. "The fires we set destroyed their fuckin' homes."

"Oh dear."

"Oh fuckin' dear is right." He began to sit up but Nancy gently pushed against his shoulder.

"Lay back down."

Negan had several comments on the tip of his tongue but he still wasn't feel well enough to battle back against her, even in a funny, sarcastic way. He did as she asked and he took a deep breath. "I don't know what the fuck just happened here."

"Do you want my professional opinion?"

He gave a nod.

"I think you had a panic attack." She anticipated him assuring her that he doesn't panic but he didn't.

Negan cleared his throat. "That's the thing that feels like a fuckin' heart attack but it's just me being fuckin' crazy?"

"It doesn't mean you're crazy."

"I'm losin' it Nancy."

"You're not."

"I am." He swallowed hard and drew a hand across his eyebrows. "I can't fuckin' decide what the hell I want."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't stay locked up here doing nothing, but I can't fuckin' do what I just did anymore." Negan let out a deep breath. "I can't deal with fuckin' people like that anymore. There was a time that I could just..." He shook his head, "Without a fuckin' thought."

"Don't you think your surroundings have something to do with that? You're a father now. This life is more stable than it ever was before. You don't have to do that to survive anymore."

"But I do... sometimes. I still did it... just now. Twice." Negan reached for his chest again and closed his eyes. "I'm not fuckin' right Nancy."

She put a hand on the side of his face. "We don't have to talk about it right now. You need to relax."

"I'm fucked up." Negan shook his head.

"Shh..." Nancy continued to soothe him. "You're fine. You're going to be alright."

He shook his head again and closed his eyes. "No... I'm not."


	18. Peace Offering

Casey walked a man in tow through the open wall of the Manor with a gun to his back as the rest of the attackers retreated.

"We have to get this wall patched up now," Matt ordered. He looked around at all of those men who came to the defensive of their community. "All hands on deck. We gather up wood, sheet rock, whatever it takes to get this closed and then we'll make it stronger."

Everyone nodded and scattered as Casey continued to walk with the lone hostage from the attack. When he spotted Negan still seated with his back against the wall of the medical building he approached him, much to Negan's dismay.

Nancy rose from where she squatted down beside him and stared at Casey. "Why is this man here?" she asked him.

Negan stared up at the stranger who stared back with fear in his eyes.

"I don't know what to do with him," Casey admitted. "He was another one of the founders at my old community."

"We only wanted retribution," the man claimed, "For what you did to our homes. We need a place to live."

"And you thought you could just take ours?"

He took in a deep breath and answered honestly, "It's survival of the fittest, nothing personal."

"Well it doesn't look like you're on top of that totem pole." Casey looked at Negan, who simply stared back. "What now?"

Nancy looked down at Negan, who rose to his feet. She stepped toward him cautiously but he held up a hand to signal that he was alright. As Negan approached the man held hostage he already began to plead for his life but again Negan silenced him by raising his hand.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"What?"

"Your name is what?" Negan huffed a laugh, "Shit your parents must have fuckin' hated your right out of the womb."

"My name." He took a deep breath, "It's Jake."

"Jake..." He nodded, "What kind of man disapproves of a relationship between a man and a woman because of skin color?"

"What?"

Negan clenched his jaw, "Say what one more time and I'll put a bullet through the center of your forehead."

Jake opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. He swallowed hard.

"Are you going to answer the fuckin' question or..."

"Um... a shithead... a shallow man."

"An asshole," Negan finished.

"Yes," Jake confirmed with a nod, "That too."

"Casey there's a good man. Better than me," Negan put a hand on his chest, "See if that were me and you tried to come between me and my woman, or put her in danger in any way I would've fuckin' blown your head off a long, long time ago." Negan pulled a hand gun from inside the band of his pants. Jake stiffened up and winced as he anticipated the worst. "Lucky for you Jake," he tucked the gun away again, "You caught me in the middle of some weird, fucked up epiphany that has been fucking my world up, probably for the better, since I was rescued by a couple of damn hippies."

"Hippies?" Jake swallowed hard.

"Did I fuckin' stutter Jake? Yes... hippies. Damn good people too. Ya know, it took yet another near death experience for me to finally kind of figure shit out." Negan looked down at his hands that were still covered in the fresh blood of the men he'd just killed, "We're not going to kill you. Fuck, I didn't even want to kill your friends out there but the heat of the moment got the best of me and I am truly very sorry for that shit. It's tearing me the fuck up inside."

Casey swallowed hard, nervous from the tense nature of the situation and Negan's semi-calm, semi-erratic behavior. He glanced at Nancy once who appeared just as tense as they waited to see what would happen next.

"I'm a conflicted fuckin' man," Negan went on, grazing the handle of his gun and making Jake close his eyes in angsty anticipation. "But I'm turning a corner here. I'm going to tell you what we are going to do with you."

"If you're going to kill me-"

"What the fuck did I just say?" Negan got louder and stepped in his direction.

"You said you weren't going to-"

"I said wasn't going to fuckin' kill you. Fuck, I know you don't know me from any other mother fucker you've come across on your travels and I did just kill your friends so I get it." He laughed to himself, "Believe me I get it but if you ask again my answer will be fuckin' different."

Jack nodded in response.

"Now..." Negan took in a deep breath and looked at Nancy, "Nance what I'd like to do for this man is to get him some our vegetables, maybe some of the yellow and orange peppers, I hate that shit. Maybe a few dozen eggs... couple ears of corn."

"What are you talking about?" Casey intervened, but Negan signaled him to be quiet with a hand up for the third time.

"And we get him the shittiest vehicle that nobody likes to fuckin' drive, or that rattles a lot, or shit maybe that just doesn't have a lot of fuckin' gas left in it... stock it up with some shit and send this motherfucker on his merry way."

Nancy raised her eyebrows but appeared more than pleased at a peaceful resolution to the problem at hand.

"I'll go down to the farm station," she told him with a nod. When she gave him an extra look Negan nodded with a subtle wink to let her know he was okay and then she took off.

"Why are you doing this?" Casey asked him.

"We accidentally burned down their homes, it's the least we can fuckin' do."

"They ruined our wall! This guy is as big of an asshole as that guy Jeb back there that you killed."

"So why didn't you just kill him out there Casey?" Negan asked, "Why the fuck did you bring him to me?"

"Because I... figured you'd know what to do."

He nodded again. "This is what we're going to do."

"Let our heart lights shine?" he asked with heavy sarcasm.

"As a matter of fuckin' fact," Negan said, "Yeah."

"Th-thank you," Jake said, holding his hands higher in the air in a surrendering pose.

Negan returned his stare back to the man in front of him and then took another step toward him. "You saw what happened out there to your friends. I don't want to have to do that. In fact it has been a _very_ long time since I have had to do it and now I'm like an alcoholic who just fell off the fuckin' wagon. You can imagine how fuckin' pissed off I am right now."

Jake nodded, "I know."

"Do you know?"

He hesitated before speaking again, "Well... not... personally. I'm just-"

"Take the shit we give you and tell your people never ever to come back here again. If one of them just so happens to wander within a mile of this place because he or she is lost I will come find you personally."

"O-okay." Jake nodded again.

"Tell Casey you're sorry for the shit you put him and Shelby through."

He turned around halfway. "I'm sorry."

"Casey," Negan finished.

"Casey." Jake swallowed hard, "I'm sorry Casey."

"Casey what do you say?" He stared at the young man, "We don't want grudges with people now, do we? Look what it's gotten me." Negan motioned to his leg, "A fuckin' permanent limp and a head full of shit."

Casey clenched his jaw and began to shake his head but gave in rather quickly. "Fine."

"Atta boy." Negan tipped his mouth up in a grin, "You got the world here. Don't fuck that shit up over this asshole's fucked up views and some damn pride."

Nancy slowly made her way back to where the three of them stood and looked at Negan. "It's in the works."

"Good." He looked at Jake and nodded to Casey. "See this piece of shit to the front gates. I don't want to see his fuckin' face ever again."

Casey turned with the man still at gunpoint and Negan looked at Nancy a moment before turning to walk away.

"Negan," she called, "Are you alright?"

He stared at her a moment and then shifted his eyes to the ground before regaining her gaze. "Thanks Nancy," he replied and then slowly made his way toward his home.


	19. Walls Down

Negan opened the door to his house and slowly closed it behind him. He looked around the empty house and for a moment the anxiety washed over him again. The house was never quiet and it allowed him a moment to image the unthinkable. What if it was real? What if something happened to his family and he was suddenly left alone again?

Tunnel vision; the near blackout. Negan tried to fight it but recognized that the years in the world they were in and the things he had done were coming full circle to hit him dead on. He sunk down against the door and closed his eyes and put his bloody hands over his face.

What Negan wanted was to enter the home, call out for Alexandra and tell her that things were taken care of.

"Fuckin' can't see anything." He felt like his senses were being stripped and tried to talk himself out of the weakened state of mind he was experiencing. "Stop being such a fuckin'..." He took in a deep breath and thought of the wall that had been destroyed leaving their town open to whoever happened to walk by - human or undead. "They could be fuckin' getting in."

"Negan..." Alexandra hurried up to him. "Oh my God. Are you hurt?"

"They could be coming in Alex!" he shouted.

"What?" She glanced toward the big window above the couch. "Were you shot? Stabbed? Were you hurt out there?" Alexandra ran her hands up the inside of his shirt in search of a wound.

"I'm not." Negan swallowed hard. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door. "Where are the kids?"

"Still in the basement with Kismet and George." Alexandra put a hand on his face. "What is going on out there? You don't look okay."

"They're gone."

"Who?"

"The fire we started." He began to come back to reality again and took in several deep breathes through his nose. "It destroyed the homes of some other fuckin' place." Negan ran a hand through his hair and Alexandra lightly reached for it, seeing him shake.

"Are we safe?"

"For now."

Alexandra held his hand in between hers and stroked his palm gently. She asked him again. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucked up Alex."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to check the fuckin' wall."

"You need to stay right here," she told him.

Negan shook his head but he didn't move. "I'm trying hard to be a better man but I'm the same as I was before."

"You're a good man."

He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw before looking her directly in the eye. "I'm not Alexandra. I can still do it so easily."

"Do what?" she asked him quietly.

Negan looked at his bloody hands. "This." He lifted his eyes to meet hers again, "It just happens so naturally. I see fuckin' red and don't think. I just fuckin' act. I didn't need to do that."

"They attacked us. Don't second guess yourself."

"I don't deserve you."

"Stop Negan," Alexandra said to him, "Please. Please don't do that."

"It's true. You are the complete opposite of me."

"Opposites attract." She tried to keep it light with a half-smile but he didn't smile back. "This is going to pass."

"Until they come back."

"Will they?"

"I don't know." Negan looked down at his hands again.

Alexandra slipped both of her hands through his. "Those children down there love you because you're a good dad." She squeezed his hands, "You've done things in this world... who hasn't? But look at what good you've done. Lucy and Joseph at the future. Because of you and people like you they may never have to pick up a gun, or face all of the horrible things we have."

Negan let in a quiet, decompressing inhale and exhale before finding a fraction of calm in her words.

"I know everything about you," she went on, "The journal you gave me a long time ago, our talks, things I've witnessed you do. I know you... every part of you. I'll help you through whatever it is you're feeling now."

Had it been anyone else Negan would have blown them off but Alexandra got him like no one else did. "When the fuck did I become so fuckin'... weak?"

"You're not Negan."

He clenched his jaw again and shook his head. "I just had a fuckin' panic attack out there. Nancy was giving me oxygen and shit." Negan didn't fight a tear that escaped one of his eyes.

Alexandra ran a hand through his hair and touched the side of his face again. "It's okay."

"It's not okay."

"Negan-"

"Alexandra." He looked at her more fiercely. "I'm a fuckin' mess. Look at me. How the fuck am I supposed to protect you or take care of you like this?"

"It hasn't been an issue so far." She sighed, "Let me take care of you too." Alexandra wiped his cheek where the tear fell.

Negan gave in. "Okay."

"Okay." She kissed his forehead. "Is it safe for the kids to come out?"

He swallowed hard and gripped her hands a little harder. "I need to radio out to the guys to make sure... but I think so." Negan sighed. "Are they scared?"

Alexandra nodded and answered honestly. "Yes."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Negan hesitated a moment and then asked her. "Is there a fuckin' silver lining to this shitty fucking day?"

She half-smiled. "I'd be happy if that was a half-kidding sex joke because then I'd know you were... okay."

He wanted to smile but he still couldn't and just shook his head.

"What silver lining?" Alexandra asked him.

"The only thing I'm remotely content with besides you in this life are Lucy and Joe." Negan looked her in the eyes.

"I can't think of a better accomplishment... or gift... blessing." She sighed.

"Me either." He felt like he had come full circle again with the crippling, anxious feeling that brought him to his knees. When he continued to stare at her Alexandra raised her eyebrows.

"What is it?"

"You... don't have anything to say? To tell me?"

Alexandra wanted to say something else that she thought was meaningful or felt from the heart but all of it had come out and she stared blankly back at him. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out and she spoke honestly. "I love you."

Negan pressed his eyebrows together and said it back. "I love you too." He studied her expression and Alexandra could see it wasn't what he was expecting. Before she could press any further he finally tried asking her. "You're..."

Alexandra saw a hint of confusion in his eyes. "I'm..."

"Pregnant... right?"

She raised her eyebrows again. "What?"

"I thought..." Negan shook his head. "You're not?"

Alexandra shook her head. "No. No, there was a test here but it was Kismet's."

He hadn't thought long-term about the fleeting news Sarah had given him but after the events of the day he had been looking forward to contributing to something he deemed as the only positive aspect of his life. Now that things hadn't panned out that way he couldn't keep the disappointment from his face.

"I'm... sorry." Alexandra sat down beside him for a moment and hugged him against her.

Negan closed his eyes. "We need to check the wall," he said quietly.

"Is the radio still in the kitchen?"

"Should be."

"Do you want me to call down to Jack?"

Negan nodded and didn't open his eyes. He sighed again when he felt her kiss him on the cheek and then leaned his head against the door again when she rose to her feet.

"Negan," she said, drawing his eyes open.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry."

Negan closed his eyes again and felt completely lost in that moment. Like a broken record he repeated the only phrase he could make logical sense of and that he could speak clearly about without emotion. "We need to check the wall."


	20. Bottom of a Bottle

"Do you want to talk?" Alexandra sat down on the edge of the bed as Negan changed out of his bloody clothes.

He shook his head and pulled on a fresh t-shirt.

She cleared her throat, taking in his body language and heard Joseph begin whine down in the kitchen. "It's alright for them to be out?"

"I'll radio to you."

"Okay." She sighed, "Do you think you should really be going back out there after what happened?"

"I can't just sit in here."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Negan raised his voice just slightly and then calmed back down again. "I need to keep my mind occupied right now. When I walked in through that door you saw what happened."

"Maybe you need a break from _that_." Alexandra pointed outward. "You're not in the right mindset." She rose to her feet and tried to comfort him but he pulled back.

"Don't tell me what mindset I'm in."

She raised her eyebrows. "Negan..."

He sighed, "I'm sorry Alex. I'm just..." Negan looked her in the eye. "I have to go out there. Keep the radio next to you."

Alexandra hugged him and felt him leave a quick kiss on her forehead. "If you want to talk later-"

"I know where to find you." He pulled away and exited through the bedroom door, hurrying down the stairs and left before Alexandra could process anything. She stood there in the silence for a moment and then headed down the stairs to relieve Kismet and George of looking after the children while she had attempted to figure out what was going on with Negan.

With the approach of night fall Negan knew it was crucial that the wall be rebuilt. Even after taking out a large number of the walkers in the area they were still around, as were others groups who obviously couldn't be trusted. He tried to push any thoughts aside from the task at hand out of his mind as he crossed the Manor to where a large number of the community's people were working together to create a sturdy barrier.

"What do you think?" Matt asked, taking off a pair of gloves. "Not bad right?"

Negan took in the structure, surprised by how quickly they managed to patch it up. "Not bad," he agreed.

Matt looked him up and down. "You okay? Nancy said-"

"I'm fine."

"Jack and Vince cleared them... the bodies. And I think it was a good idea to make that peace offering with the hostage. Maybe it'll keep them from coming back."

"Can only hope."

"Thank you," Matt told him, "I don't think I could do... what you did."

"Don't thank me." Negan folded his arms over his chest and stared upward. "Not fuckin' bad."

The two of them stood silently for a moment and then Matt cleared his throat. "You... you can go home if you want to. You've done more than enough today."

"I'm good," he assured him, not making eye contact.

"Are the kids okay?"

"Yup. Yours?'

"Yeah." Matt nodded, "Chris and Annie are sitting out on the porch over there." He motioned with his head toward their house.

Negan eyed the workers again, noting they were doing more than he could have ever expected on the wall. There wasn't much for him to do and so he looked to Matt. "Got any booze? Bourbon? Whiskey? A Mike's hard fuckin' lemonade? Anything?"

Matt nodded, "Yeah. Annie will get you whatever you want." He eyed him again, "You sure you're alright?"

He took in a deep inhale through his nose. "Yeah."

He nodded again. "Alright."

Negan turned and headed down the road toward Matt and Annie's, drawing her attention as he grew closer and took the stairs of the front porch slowly.

"Hi," Annie greeted, putting down a book of crossword puzzles, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, fine," he assured her, "I asked Matt if you might have something to drink. Told me to ask you."

"A drink... like a drink-drink?"

"Yeah."

"Of course." Annie rose to her feet and waved him inside, quickly hurrying to a cabinet that she could barely reach. "What would you like?"

"Anything."

She pushed up onto her toes and reached the first bottle she spotted. "Buffalo Trace. What's this, bourbon?" Annie grabbed it with both hands and passed it over. "Take the whole thing. Matt can't really drink that stuff."

"I'll bring it back."

She shook her head. "It's yours."

"Thanks Annie." Negan followed her back out and headed back down the steps into the yard. "I'll have Alexandra cook something for you or something."

"Don't be silly." She waved a hand and sat down beside Chris again on the porch watching him go.

Negan looked around the town not knowing where to go to drown his sorrows. "No fuckin' bar to go to," he said quietly to himself, continuing the walk past the medical building on the west end of the Manor where he rarely drifted off too. He glanced at the barn, immediately thinking of the time Alexandra had been mad at him working down there, and then of his children who loved to see the animals. A tightness formed in his stomach noting he'd been short with his wife just moments before as she tried to comfort him, and again how he hadn't addressed Lucy, Joseph or Sarah before he left the house.

Negan sighed, eyeing a bench that sat by itself and he wandered over to take a seat hoping no one would bother him. He removed the cork on the bottle and brought it to his lips, taking in a long sip of the liquor before letting out a decompressing sigh. As much as he didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts, Negan also felt the need to be miserable in that moment. It was why he isolated himself. The last thing he wanted was to drag Alexandra into the moment of misery with him, even though he knew she would understand.

 _This too shall pass_ , he thought.

Negan took another sip from the bottle, longer this time, and then leaned forward with his elbows on his knees glancing down at the light brown liquid that danced at the bottom of the bottle. He didn't know exactly what he wanted because those wants seemed to change by the day. The Manor, as great of a community as it was, gave him time to ponder all of the choice he'd made during the fall of society. He assumed sooner or later it would catch up to him; a type of post-traumatic stress that he would deal with. But Negan hadn't expected it to be that day that had started off so typically.

Tears streaked his face as he relived his darkest moments and he was happy that nightfall helped aid in his disguise. The liquor bottle grew emptier and emptier and his sorrows grew greater. He swallowed hard and tried to take in the world clearly around him but he knew he was well beyond the point of intoxication. When the bottle slipped from his hand and shattered on the ground and laid flat on the bench on his back looking up at the stars in the sky that seemed to be dancing in circles all around him.

Negan felt his eyes drifting closed and soon everything grew dark as he passed out on the bench in the back of Manor.


	21. Five Thirty

Alexandra knew that she had to give Negan his space. Going after him would only push him farther away and she knew during an emotional moment some times people needed to be left alone to deal with it in their own way.

"Mommy it's raining." Lucy looked up from the toys she was playing with on the living room floor and pointed toward the window.

"Mom." Joseph was pronouncing his words better by the day and held his arms upward as he made his way to the couch.

Alexandra quickly scooped him up and then ran her hand over the top of Lucy's head. She glanced out the window and heard the rain beginning to pelt down with more force against the roof and the windows. "It is, isn't it?"

"Where's Dad?"

"He's outside working honey."

"In the rain?" Lucy popped up to her feet and climbed onto the couch, placing her hands on the wooden window ledge.

"It's warm." Alexandra kissed the top of her head, "He'll be okay. He's probably on his way home."

Sarah slowly took the stairs. "Do you want me to go look for him?"

She shook her head. "No. I wouldn't send you out in the rain." Before Sarah could give her input Alexandra managed a smile. "I know you probably want to for a little adventure but you're staying put."

She sighed. "Alright. I might go back upstairs. I've been working on a drawing."

Alexandra smiled. "Really?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah."

"Of what?"

"I'll show you when it's done." She smiled and hurried back up to her room.

Alexandra looked back out the window and Joseph streaked invisible lines down the glass with his finger, tracing a rain drop that slid down.

Lucy sighed and looked at her mother. "Is he going to be back before bed?"

"I hope so honey." She smiled, "Am I no fun?"

She shook her head and looked back out the window, making Alexandra smile again. "Why don't we watch the Scooby Doo cartoon that Annie gave us?"

Lucy's posture perked up with some interest. "Okay."

"Okay." Alexandra helped her turn around on the couch before she plopped down and then sat Joseph beside her while she closed the curtains. She made her way to the television and reached for the DVD that was still sitting on top of the stand from the last time they'd watched it.

When Joseph yawned as she got the movie up and running Alexandra knew it would only be a matter of time before he would drifting off to sleep against her with Lucy not far behind. She secretly hoped that at least one of the children would stay up. There was no better company to have, particularly when she had no idea where Negan had gone off to or why he hadn't come home.

When Lucy reached for a blanket and cuddled up against her, Alexandra knew the battle to stay up was just about over for her children. Joseph had already gone from wide-eyed watching the television, to heavy-eyed to fast asleep in the matter of twenty minutes.

"I want a dog," Lucy said with a yawn.

Alexandra smiled. "I wish I could get you one honey. We could name him Scooby." She alternated between watching the show and looking at Lucy before yawning herself. The three of them were so cozy and the air was just warm enough, and the room just dark enough that Alexandra didn't even realize that she was drifting off to sleep right along with them.

...

When Alexandra opened her eyes next the rain had stopped and she could sense it was just before dawn by the faint glow from in between the curtains that looked to impede upon the dark that still clung to the sky. Lucy and Joseph slept against her on either side on the couch and there was a stiffness in her neck that made her wince as she tried to massage it out.

Joseph stirred a bit and gave her the room to scoot out from under Lucy, though she quickly grabbed a throw pillow and slipped it beneath her sleeping head before straightening up the blanket on top of her.

"Come on honey," Alexandra whispered, lifting Joseph to bring him upstairs to his bed. She glanced at Lucy who hadn't woke up and then carefully made her way up the stairs to lay Joseph down. As she went she glanced into her bedroom and when Negan wasn't there she felt a twinge of panic and paranoia. She knew, however, that someone would have informed her if something out of the ordinary had happened.

Alexandra peeked into Sarah's room next through the open door and when she saw her sleeping she moved on to place Joseph in his bed, kissing him once, before going back out into the hallway.

"Alex!" Sarah whispered her name and sat up in bed.

"Go back to sleep."

"Where's Negan?"

Alexandra didn't know who to respond. "I'm going to find out."

"Want me to watch the kids?"

"They're both sleeping." She waved her back down but Sarah tossed the covers to the side and slowly climbed out of bed with a head of messy hair. "You don't have to get up."

"It's okay," Sarah said with a yawn, prompting Alexandra to cross the room and hug her.

"You're a superhuman," Alexandra told her with a smile, continuing to hug her before pulling back. "I'll be back."

"Don't rush." She smiled and made her way down the stairs quietly behind Alexandra. "What time is it?"

Alexandra made her way into the kitchen in search of a light jacket and grabbed one off the back of a chair. "It's five-thirty." She smiled again at Sarah, "I owe you some driving lessons."

Sarah grinned. "I'm getting good."

"I've heard." Alexandra sighed, "I'll be right back." She made her way out the front door and shivered from the morning chill, taking in the damp surroundings. It was still mostly dark and so it was hard to see the progress that had been made where there had been a hole in the wall. Before she got all the way to the front, she passed Jack as he was leaving his post from the night before.

"Hey Alex," he said, tipping his mouth up in a half-smile, "Coming to check out the handy work at this early hour?"

Alexandra smiled, relieved at his calm demeanor. "How is it?"

"Doesn't look pretty but it's patched up."

"That's the important thing," she said with a nod and then looked at him more directly. "Where's, uh... where's Negan?"

Jack shrugged and raised his eyebrows. "I... I don't know." He narrowed his eyebrows. "He's not home?"

Alexandra swallowed hard, "No. He left last night to help out with the wall." She looked him up and down when he scratched his head and looked around. "There's no one over at the wall right now."

"Well, did he... switch places with you up in the guard tower?"

"No." Jack shook his head. "Casey and Mikey are up there."

Worry began to take over her. "Okay... well..." She looked around, "Is anyone still up?"

"No one's been working on the wall since about two or three this morning." Jack looked down at his wrist watch.

Alexandra tried not to let him see her concern. "Okay, um... thanks." She turned to go but he reached for her arm.

"I'll help you look for him. Maybe he... I don't know maybe he crashed at Matt's or something." Jack looked at her again, "He never came home?"

She shook her head and knew she couldn't hide what she was feeling now.

"I'm sure it's fine," Jack told her, "Come on. We'll look around."

"Thanks." Alexandra felt herself becoming more anxious with each minute that passed as they walked. Jack shined a flashlight around, scanning the center of town and then checking the medical building. The two of them made their way to the barn area next and Alexandra looked around. "Where could be? I saw his truck out front. He didn't leave. He doesn't drive anything else." She thought out loud, "I guess he could have..."

"No one left," Jack informed her, "I was up there all night."

"So he's here somewhere." She put a hand on her forehead and looked up as Matt and a few members of the farm staff headed in their direction.

"Matt!" Alexandra ran up to him, looking at each of the others individually to see if Negan was in their company but he wasn't. "Matt, where's Negan?"

"Negan..." He looked to Jack for a moment and then back to Alexandra, "He's..." Matt shrugged but showed concern. "I don't know."

"Jesus." She shook her head.

"When did he leave the house?"

"Last night," Alexandra informed him, "To work on the wall. Did you see him?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah, he..." He thought back to their last conversation, "He only stayed for about ten minutes and I told him to go home."

"He never came home."

"He asked for something to drink, I think to take the edge off. He seemed like something was bothering him."

"Yeah..." Alexandra put a hand on her forehead. "Did you give him a drink?"

"I sent him to Annie because I was working on the wall. She said she gave him a bottle of something."

"Did he stay at your place?"

Matt shook his head. "No. I was just there."

"Shit."

"There's no reason to get upset yet," Jack told them. He nodded, "Let's make our rounds."

Alexandra felt a heat form in her face and she followed Jack as Matt excused himself from the company of the farmers to join them.

"We can start knocking on doors," Matt said. "He has to be somewhere."

"In someone else's house?" She shook her head but thought of Nancy, "Maybe he had too much to drink and Nancy took care of him." Alexandra prayed that's what happened and was tempted to pass everything up to go to Nancy's house but Matt pointed up ahead and walked by them.

He squatted down, picking up the bigger pieces of shattered glass, remnants of the bottle Annie had given to Negan. "This is what my wife gave to him."

"Negan!" Alexandra shouted his name now and looked around in the darkness. "Shit, Matt, where is he?" She took in a deep breath, "Screw it. I'm going to Nancy's."

Jack echoed her call several times, "Negan!"

When a light went on the house across from where they stood Jack pointed. "Someone's up."

Alexandra whipped around and hurried toward the front door with the two men behind her. "Maybe they just heard us yelling out. Who lives here?" She took the set of stairs that led to the small porch and saw that the big door was already opened, though a screen sat in between the outside and the inside. "Hello?" she called out.

"Coming!" a young woman's voice called lightly before she appeared at the door.

Before Alexandra could say anything she looked over the woman's shoulder and saw Negan enter the main room from somewhere in the back of the house. A white t-shirt was draped over his bare shoulders and he immediately made eye contact with Alexandra.

She knew her jaw must have dropped to floor but she couldn't say anything and simply shook her head before turning away and going back down the stairs past Jack and Matt.

"Alex!" he shouted after her, "Alexandra!"

Alexandra didn't know what to think or feel and assumed the absolute worst at that moment as she heard the screen door open and close. She didn't know whether to continue on or freeze in place and so she closed her eyes and stopped. For the first time she had no interest in hearing what he had to say.


	22. Portrait

Negan rushed down the stairs, nearly stumbling as he missed the last step and reached for her shoulder.

"Don't," Alexandra warned him, turning around to face him.

"It's not what-"

"It's not what it looks like?" she asked, shaking her head. "What does it look like?"

Jack and Matt exchanged a glance and it was apparent that they didn't know whether to stay or go.

"Alex," Negan reached for her again but she jumped back.

"Don't," she told him again. "I mean it Negan." Tears filled her eyes, "I watched a movie with the kids last night and I fell asleep with them. Sarah was going to come look for you-"

"I was drinking and-"

"Oh that justifies everything," Alexandra said to him, burning her eyes into his.

"Nothing happened," Negan vowed. He tried to touch her face but she moved back again and turned her back with a disgusted sigh.

"I wanted to talk to you," she reminded him.

"I know." He moved back into her line of vision and Alexandra looked at his bare chest.

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Listen to me," Negan begged. "I passed out on the fuckin' bench out there." He pointed toward the street and took in a deep breath, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I drank... a lot."

"Did you..." Alexandra didn't want to openly ask him in front of an audience but she had to ask him, "Did you sleep with that woman?"

"No." He shook his head, "I know what this looks like and believe me if it were reversed I would have already thrown a fuckin' punch at a guy... or ironed his fucking face." Negan thought back for a moment. He swallowed hard and forced her to look him in the eye. "But you have to know that I would never, ever do that. Ever." He shook his head. "Alexandra please. I love you. I wouldn't do that."

She closed her eyes and wiped away tears as they fell at the same time and shook her head, thinking back to the days when he had a number of wives at the Sanctuary.

"You told me you cheated on your first wife... Lucille."

Negan took a deep breath and reluctantly nodded. "Yeah." He swallowed hard.

"And you loved her?"

He hesitated. "Yeah."

"Just like you just said you love me."

The woman finally made her way down to where they stood and Alexandra wanted to tell her to go away but she allowed her to speak.

"Alex, right?"

Alexandra didn't speak; didn't nod. She simply stared back her.

"I'm Jane." She wanted to hold a hand out but didn't think it was appropriate. "Nothing happened between myself and your husband."

"See." Negan raised his eyebrows and Alexandra gave him daggers of a look.

"Okay... yeah..." She nodded sarcastically at him. "Thanks for clearing that up."

"I'm in a relationship," Jane insisted, putting a hand on her chest.

"So is he." Alexandra motioned to Negan. She looked back to him. "Two children. God, Lucy asked was asking if you'd be home before she went to sleep."

"Alex..." He shook his head again and then Jane went on.

"I wasn't prepared to let the world know this but... I guess now is as good of a time as any."

"Know what?" Alexandra was waiting to hear that her and Negan had been having some grand affair or something but what she said next surprised her.

"I'm in a relationship with another woman," Jane explained. "Her name is Missy and she lives two houses down." She pointed and then ran a hand across her eyebrows.

"No way. I could have called that one." Jack let out a laugh and Matt nudged him.

"What?" Alexandra asked. She looked at Jane with relief and disbelief.

"If it makes you feel any better," Jane went on, "The thought of having sex with a man repulses me... and if I ever thought to give it a shot it wouldn't be with someone like him." She half-smiled, "No offense. You're just... manly to the core and it's not at all what I'm attracted to. Plus you were kind of mean to me earlier."

Negan stared wide-eyed and mouth open at her, and then a relieved grin covered his face. "No shit?"

"No shit." Jane nodded and looked back at Alexandra, "I am really sorry for the worry that I caused you, and if you don't believe me then you can confirm it with Missy herself when she wakes up. We may even move in together soon and believe me I would not go that far into a lie to cover up for a man if he was cheating." She smiled when she saw the same bout of relief filter into Alexandra, "I saw him passed out drunk on the bench and it had started to rain. Missy and I were up helping with the wall and I found him there on my way back. He was soaked and had vomit all over the front of his shirt so I got him into some dry clothes and leant him my couch for the night. He was too heavy to move overly far or I would have tried to walk him home."

Alexandra put a hand on her forehead and then staggered toward the front steps before sitting down on them.

"I'm sorry," Jane apologized again. "I really am."

"No." She could see that the woman was telling the truth, "No, I'm sorry. I can't believe..."

"I would have thought the same thing," Jane admitted, "Who wouldn't. The timing was terrible and your husband didn't come home." She shook her head at Negan, "Stupid man."

"Stupid man," Negan agreed. He sat down beside Alexandra on the step. "Alex, I'm really sorry for all this shit. I didn't mean for the night to end up like that. I just started drinking and the next thing I knew it was morning. I don't remember the rain, or anything after I laid down on the bench." He swallowed hard, "I drank too much. I passed out. I made you worry... I fucked up." Negan looked at her until she turned to him, "But I would never cheat on you."

Alexandra looked into his eyes for an extra long moment before attempting to compose herself. She looked at Jane again and rose to her feet. "Thank you for taking him in."

"You're welcome."

"I'm very, very sorry."

"Don't be." She shook her head, "I would have slapped a bitch." Jane smiled and looked at Matt and Jack who would have looked fitting with a soda and bag of popcorn. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," they said at the same time before exchanging a glance.

"I have to get some sleep," Jack added, "Was up all night and then had to help Alex look for your drunk ass." He nodded to Negan who rose to his feet, holding onto his head. "You look like shit run over twice man."

"I feel like it," Negan admitted. He looked to Alexandra who didn't say anything to him.

Alexandra stared at him for a moment and then gave a wave to Jane once more. "Thank you." She looked to Jack and Matt next, "Thank you both."

Negan sighed and put his tail between his legs as he followed her out of the yard and down the street as everyone parted ways and Jane went back inside of her house. Neither of them said anything as they went and Negan prepared himself to get yelled at once they got inside the privacy of their home. As they reached the front porch Alexandra turned to him and to his surprise pulled him into a hug as she began to cry.

"I'm sorry," she said, almost unintelligibly. "Negan, I'm-"

"What?" He continued to hold her and pulled just his face back to look at her, "What are you talking about?"

Alexandra wept, unable to complete a full sentence without stopping for a break to catch her breath. "I just... accused you..." She struggled to keep it together, "I didn't even let you... I didn't let you talk... I can't believe I thought-"

"I would have been fuckin' rippin' pissed if I saw you in that position," he admitted, "It looked-"

"I don't care what it looked like," Alexandra told him, still crying. "How could I think you would..." She shook her head, "I know you wouldn't."

"I wouldn't," Negan assured her, pulling her back to him. "I know I did when I was with Lucille. I was younger... fuckin' stupid. We were having lots of marital problems. I loved her but shit... we fought like crazy. We had a passionate relationship, but that meant arguments, blow out fights sometimes." He swallowed hard, "I loved her Alex, but I love you in a different way - a more sane, stable way maybe. I don't know. But I have never truly wanted another woman since the day I met you. We don't have any of those problems."

"I know." She nodded, "I know Negan." Alexandra allowed him to dry her eyes, "God, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," he told her, "I have a lot of heavy shit I'm trying to process. It hit me hard yesterday and I fucked up in the way I handled it. If anything I should have went down into our basement and got drunk." Negan managed a smile, "But I was trying not to drag you into my fuckin' mess. It's the only reason why I left. I saw the bench. I sat down. I drank..."

"Your mess is my mess," Alexandra reminded him. "I love you at your best and your worst." She let out a long, deep breath. "God Negan."

"I'm really, really sorry Alexandra."

She leaned against him again and closed her eyes when he kissed her forehead. "You feel cold."

"I _am_ cold," Negan admitted. "And my head fuckin' hurts." He went out on a limb to try to make her smile, "You should nurse me back to health... for old time's sake."

Alexandra smiled and then looked up at him. "I'll get you a tall glass of water and some Advil." She sighed, "I guess you being drunk one time in all of the time we've been together is something I can get past." Alexandra put a hand on her forehead, "I should still be mad at you for for staying at another woman's house."

"You should," he agreed, "But even on my worst day I wouldn't..."

She took in a breath. "I know."

"Can I kiss you, or are you too mad at me?"

She gave a barely there smile and gently pulled his face to hers. "Don't do that to me again... please."

"Okay."

Alexandra leaned her head against his chest again. "Hop in the shower when we go inside." She sighed heavily against him, "Are you okay... from everything that happened yesterday?"

Negan cleared his throat. "Somewhat." He looked down at her, "Better... but I'd like to take you up on that talking offer when I sleep off this hangover." He scratched his head and looked at her.

"Of course," Alexandra assured him. She leaned back and linked her fingers through his as she pulled him toward the front door. "Just tell me when."

"Alright." Negan leaned in to kiss her one more time before she opened the door. "Thank you Alexandra... for understanding. I'm so fuckin' sorry honey."

"It's okay." She lead the way inside and Negan closed the door behind them.

Lucy twisted and turned on the couch and then smiled with a sleep wave as she rubbed her eye with the other. "Hi Daddy."

Negan smiled and only released Alexandra's hand to greet their daughter. He knelt down beside the couch and kissed her forehead. "Go back to sleep."

"Your voice sounds scratchy," she whispered with a small smile, making him laugh lightly.

"It's because I'm tired." He brushed her hair back. "Go back to sleep."

"You missed Scooby." She put a hand on the side of his face and Negan laughed, feeling tears leave both of his eyes simultaneously.

"I'm sorry Lucy."

"Stop crying," she demanded so sternly that he laughed again and wiped them away.

"Yes ma'am." Negan sniffed in and kissed her again. "We'll watch it tonight again if you want."

Lucy let out a big yawn and laid her head back down. "Okay. Just you and me. Not Joseph."

"We'll see." He stood up and wandered into the kitchen, looking at Sarah who sat sketching while Alexandra poured him a tall glass of water. "What are you drawing?"

Sarah didn't immediately look up at him, continuing to draw the tip of the pencil across the page. When she eyed the picture from several different angles she turned it and held it up to him. "It's us." She brushed some stray, little pieces of eraser away and handed it to him as he crossed the room.

Negan looked down at the sketch in his hand, a piece of artwork that included Lucy, Joseph, Sarah, Alexandra and himself.

"Since we can't really take pictures," Sarah began but Negan smiled and cut her off.

"I love it."

"You do?"

"I love it," he repeated, holding it up for Alexandra to see.

"That is amazing Sarah." She smiled and reached for the sketch.

"It's a work in progress."

Alexandra shook her head. "This is really good." She let out a loud sigh. "Wow."

"You guys are just saying that." Sarah laughed but they both shook their heads and Alexandra hugged her again.

"I love it, Sarah. Can we frame it?"

She shrugged. "Yeah... sure."

Negan rubbed the top of her head. "You're alright kid."

"You smell kinda gross," she told him with a smile.

"Yeah... I know."

"What the hell happened to you last night?"

Negan and Alexandra exchanged a glance. "Stay away from the booze," he told her, and then reached for the water as Alexandra handed him a fist full of Advil. "Thank you."

"I'll run the water for you upstairs." Alexandra handed the drawing back to Sarah. "I'm going to find a frame for this."

Sarah grinned. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," Alexandra told her again with a smile and then looked at Negan. "You need at least a day of rest," she said as he took the pills, taking in his less-than-stellar appearance. "And you definitely... definitely need a shower."

He took a swig of the water and looked at her for a moment before kissing her cheek and bringing his lips to her ear as he rested his hand on the other side of her face. "Thank you."


	23. Go Fish

Alexandra wandered in from the medical building with Lucy on one side and Nancy on the other. The three of them made their way inside the house and Alexandra called for Negan when she didn't immediately see him.

"Out back!" he shouted, prompting the three of them to head out into the patio area behind the house.

"Dad, Dad, Dad." Lucy skipped way over to where he sat at a table playing cards with Sarah and entertaining Joseph with toys and handing him occasional little crackers that Kismet had made.

"What's up kiddo?" Negan hoisted her up into his lap and smiled at Alexandra and Nancy. "What's up?"

"I have a proposition for you," Alexandra told him.

"Sounds interesting." He smiled and looked back and forth between them while Sarah rattled off, "Go Fish."

"Funny you're playing this card game," Alexandra went on.

"Why do you say that?" Negan glanced through his cards and then picked one up from the pile and nodded to Sarah. "Your turn."

"Got any Kings?"

He made a face and tossed her one from the stack of cards in his hand before returning his attention back to Alexandra. "What's this proposition? Nancy want to... join us tonight?"

"Eww," Sarah said, not taking her eyes off her cards.

"There is something wrong with you," Nancy added, laughing lightly.

"I was actually hoping you could take me fishing," Alexandra said to him.

"Fishing?" He pressed his eyebrows together and then smiled. "Where?"

"Where we went," Sarah suggested. "Remember?"

"That would work," Alexandra told him.

Negan looked around at everyone and then laughed. "You're serious?"

"Yeah."

"What brought this on? You want to leave the walls... even after all of the shit that's been going on?"

"We don't have to."

Negan rose to his feet and placed his cards face down, scooping up Lucy as he stood. "No, we can go."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded and placed their daughter back down as Nancy slipped into his seat to take his place in the game. "What about these ones?"

"Grandma Nancy," Nancy said of herself, "Got any Aces?" She looked across the way at Sarah who flipped over the Ace of Spades.

"Fishing." Negan smiled at Alexandra.

She smiled back. "Yeah."

...

Negan pulled up to the pond that appeared to have been part of a local park prior to the end of normal life.

"No walkers," Alexandra said to him, taking in the serene scenery.

"Wiped out a lot of them in the area with that fire." He hopped out of the car at the same time that Alexandra did and grabbed the fishing poles from the back. "I'm surprised you wanted to come out here."

"I know what you mean about needed a change of scenery from time to time," Alexandra admitted. She looked around again. "It feels so good to be outside."

Negan smiled and got the first pole set up and then handed it over. "You know how to cast it?" He didn't wait for her answer and wrapped his hand over hers before lifting the portion of the reel that sat on the line and placed his first two fingers there to take it's place.

Alexandra smiled and turned to him, placing her fingers above his to trap the fishing line against the pole.

"You got it?" Negan smirked.

"Yeah."

He leaned in and kissed her once, letting it linger for a moment and then stepped back to allow her to cast it out before grabbing the second fishing pole and joining her by the edge of the water.

Alexandra sighed and eyed a picnic table a few feet away. She waved him over with her and the two of them sat down. For a minute they just sat there enjoying the mid-afternoon sun and Alexandra finally spoke. "It really almost feels normal out here."

"Yeah..." He stretch his legs out and leaned one elbow back on the table while holding the pole with the other. "Could've taken the kids camping. Roasted marshmallows and shit."

She nodded and leaned forward a bit. "Think there are any fish in here?"

"Yeah." Negan tilted the handle on the pole and then let out a sigh.

"Can I ask you something about the other night?"

He turned to her and gave a nod.

"Did you... were you really happy when you thought I was going to have a baby?"

Negan gave a genuine smile. "I just thought... I don't know, in that moment I was but I think we've got enough going on."

Alexandra nodded in agreement. "Yeah I do too. I'm sorry if-"

"Don't be." He put his arm around her.

"I love you Negan."

"I love you too." Alexandra crossed one leg over the other and then abruptly jumped to her feet when the fishing pole began to bend.

"You got one honey." Negan stood up at the same time, setting his pole down on the ground. "Start cranking." He went to reach for the reel but pulled back and allowed her to do it.

She began to laugh and quickly began to turn the reel. "I forgot how fun this is. "Alexandra reeled faster and Negan made his way to the end of the pole by the water and lifted it into the air as she got the fish all the way in. "It's a..."

"Sun fish." Negan laughed and eyed the tiny fish on the end. "It's not the size that matters."

"Are we still talking about the fish?"

He gave a big smile and then laughed when she did before unhooking it. "Throw 'em back?"

Alexandra nodded. "He's a baby, and people don't eat sunfish, right?"

Negan shrugged. "This isn't going to make or break us." He smiled and handed it toward her.

"You can throw him back."

"Don't like to touch the fish?"

Alexandra shook her head. "Whenever I fished with my dad I always did the reeling and he did the rest."

Negan smiled and then gently tossed the fish back into the water.

"There is still plenty of life out here," she told him.

"Yeah." He eyed the empty hook and was about to re-bait it but Alexandra set the pole down against the picnic table.

"I wish we could take a vacation," she said with a laugh, though half-serious in her tone.

Negan smiled and walked back toward her, putting one foot up. "I think this is as close as we get nowadays."

"Can't complain," Alexandra said to him, looking around the area again. "It beats nothing at all."

He reached for her hand and gently guided her to him. "I'm sorry again about the other night."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes I do." Negan nodded. "I was so wrapped up in my own shit. I keep thinking about you crying and it makes me feel... fuckin' terrible. Worse than anything that I can think of."

"That's how I felt when you came home and sat down against the door. Your face..." She shook her head and smiled, "Vacation."

He smiled and hugged her, "Yeah."

Alexandra ran her hand up and down his back and then leaned back and kissed him.

Negan closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss. He pulled her back to him when she took a breath and then towed her toward the truck before picking her up and seating her on the edge of the tailgate. "We can go back-" he started but Alexandra grabbed his face and kissed him firmly again.

Negan gave one look around and then pushed himself up into the back of the truck. He let out a deep breath and then hurried toward the back windows, reaching in toward the back to grab a blanket to throw down.

Alexandra smiled. "Wow."

"We ought to do this right." Negan hurried to spread it out and then pulled the tailgate shut, watching Alexandra intently as she undressed.

"I think we should do this kind of thing more often." She smiled and pulled her back to him and laid down flat with her on top of him.

He moaned into her mouth as he kissed her more passionately. "If this was a movie we'd fuckin' get killed any minute," he whispered with a laugh and then kissed her again.

"Don't jinx it," Alexandra told him with a laugh.

"This is fuckin' fun."

"That was my plan."

"You planned for this?"

"To seduce my husband out here?" She swallowed hard and smiled, "Yes."

Negan pushed himself up and looked around to make sure there no walkers and then fell into the plan that Alexandra had for both of them. When the world grew a little darker and the two of them laid together looking up at the starry sky Negan pulled her onto his chest and kissed her temple.

"I think we both needed that," Alexandra told him. "I have not felt this alive in a long, long time."

He wrapped his arms around her tighter. "Me either." Negan sighed and closed his eyes for a few seconds as Alexandra traced her fingers down his bare chest. "I'd love to fuckin' sleep out here with you."

She smiled, fantasizing about it for a moment. "I wish."

He ran a hand through her hair. "It's only you, ya know."

"I know." Alexandra assured him and then listened as the bugs and the frogs began to talk to each other with the incoming arrival of nightfall.

Negan sighed and she draped her arm across him now, hugging her bare body to his. When she heard his breathing steady out she smiled.

"Don't fall asleep on me."

He grinned without opening his eyes. "I won't," he said, and then added. "But that is kind of the natural progression of things... at least for me."

"Want to go back?"

Negan shook his head and turned toward her just slightly. "Not yet."

"Okay." Alexandra allowed him to keep her cradled tightly against his body. She knew she could have fallen asleep right there with him if it wasn't for the dangers that potentially lurked nearby - human or otherwise. "We don't have to watch out for bears or anything do we?" she teased, making him chuckle.

"Nah, I don't think so." He rolled to face her and smirked lazily with a sleepy, post-coital stare. "Maybe a fuckin' tiger though." When she opened her mouth to speak of the past with Ezekial he laughed and kept her quiet with another kiss. "I'm fuckin' kidding."

Alexandra laughed against his lips and playfully rolled herself on top of him. "God, I feel like a kid again with you sometimes." She smiled, "I love to laugh."

He locked his hands across her back when she began to play with his hair. "This day was exactly what I needed. I feel fuckin' good."

"Well, I feel fuckin' great," she teased.

"Mmm..." Negan pulled her down toward him for another kiss as he smiled. "You're the best kind of fuckin' medicine."

"Even the booze?" Alexandra raised her eyebrows and laughed when Negan finally reopened his eyes. "I'm kidding."

He chuckled and nodded. "Oh yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too Alexandra."


	24. Peace or War

Negan wandered down the street toward Casey's house, having not talked to him since the victims of the fire and members of his old group had intruded on their community.

He knew Casey had taken some of what happened personally and the two men hadn't spoken since that day.

Shelby crossed through the front doorway before he got all the way up to the house. "Hi Negan." She flashed a genuine smile.

"Hey." Negan gave a wave. "Is your husband home?"

"Yeah he's inside." Shelby placed a hand over the small bump on her belly and then sat down in a rocking chair on the porch. "You can go in."

"Thanks." Negan opened the screen door and gave a shout. "Casey?"

The sound of a chair skidding against the floor sounded off and Negan made his way to the back room.

Casey met him halfway, finishing a bite of something he was eating and brushed his hands of crumbs on his jeans before extending a hand.

Negan returned the gesture and nodded. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Casey cleared his throat. "Not a world to be holding grudges about old demons, like you said."

"Yeah..."

"Especially now that we're going to be starting a family." He ran a hand over his eyebrows. "Why do I have a feeling though that this isn't over?"

Negan nodded and glanced over his shoulder toward the door before looking back at Casey. "I don't think it's the last we've fuckin' seen of them."

"The guy you killed... and the one you let go... they're not rational guys. They're fuckin' assholes."

"Well one's fuckin' dead."

"Should have killed the other one."

"You didn't need my permission."

Casey sucked his teeth in frustration. "It's not as easy for me. I mean I can do it... but not like you can do it."

Negan looked down for a moment and let a breath in and out through his nose. "I don't want to."

"I know... but you can if you need to." He shook his head, "Those men put Shelby through some shit. Yeah they're people were battling ours constantly but our leaders were no saints, not by a long shot."

"Sounds familiar." He raised his eyebrows.

"They aren't going to go away quietly... I can already sense that and I've just been waiting for another retaliation."

"What do you suggest?"

"I have no fuckin' idea.'

Negan pulled up a chair and twisted it around backwards. He sat down and straddled it, resting his arms on the top. "You have a feeling about this shit. You know these mother fuckers."

"Just the one now."

"Will he take the fuckin' peace offering or is this going to continue?"

"I don't know."

"Well fuckin' think about it kid." Negan put a hand out to the side. "You know the guy. None of us do."

"He won't let it go," Shelby's voice came from behind where Negan sat and he turned around partway to face her. "It might not be tomorrow or next week but they'll come back. They have things... well they did have things."

"What kind of things?" he asked.

"Explosives. Weapons. People." Shelby shook her head, "If we accidentally destroyed their homes then they will come back again. They just underestimated our personnel here and were probably a little spooked from the way you killed those two guys." She sighed and looked at Casey, "We may have to approach them.

"No," Casey told her, shaking his head. "We're not attacking.'

"Not to attack," Shelby said, "To offer them refuge."

"No."

"Casey..." She sighed and he cut her off.

"They are racist assholes who bombed our wall."

"In this world we need to promote peace now," Shelby told him, "That may mean taking the high road." She motioned to Negan, "What he did was right. He started the peace offering and we have to continue to promote that."

"What and live as peaceful neighbors?" Casey rolled his eyes, "Give me a break. It can't happen."

"I'm not saying to welcome them in here with open arms. There are houses all around here outside the walls. The Manor was originally a really big neighborhood, we just closed in the parts that were doable." She shrugged. "Maybe we clear some houses and help them build walls in a neighboring community."

Negan turned to Casey and awaited his response.

"You think this too?" Casey asked him. "Would you do this if it were those other people?"

"If we could possibly live side by fuckin' side with no problems... yeah. I would," Negan told him honestly. "I don't know that that's possible, but-"

"Well this isn't either."

"It is Casey," Shelby disagreed.

He returned his attention to Negan, "What if there was someone out there specifically out to hurt Alexandra... or your kids?"

Negan pressed his eyebrows together and was about to response but Shelby cut in again.

"No one is out to hurt me. Being some redneck asshole and wanting to kill someone are two different things. If it means keeping the peace then I want to do it." She put her hands out to the sides, "I'm thinking of us... all of us. Our future baby. It's either fighting or peace. We should initiate the latter before they make the decision for us and then we lose more people, more supplies..."

Casey sighed and put a foot up onto a chair and then leaned an elbow to his knee. "Let's say in theory we do it that way." He looked at his wife and then to Negan. "How do we even approach this? We don't know where they are. If we burned down their homes then they are in a completely different location than when I lived with them. I didn't recognize anyone else in their group."

"It can't be all that fuckin' far," Negan told him.

"So we just wander through the woods until we find an army of homeless people with a grudge against us?" He held up a finger, "Let me just run this one by Alexandra first to see what she thinks of this."

He laughed. "A little while ago I'd say go ahead but she's the fuckin' boss and I've pissed her off enough lately."

"So I've heard," Shelby said. She gave a small smile when Negan turned to her.

Casey let out a frustrated sigh upon witnessing the two of them experiencing some humor out of the situation. "I'm not on the same page, so I'm gonna go."

"Case..." Shelby put her hands on her hips and cocked her head to the side.

"I'll be back." He walked through the doorway through the living room toward the front door and didn't look back.

Shelby looked to Negan. "What do you think?"

"I understand where he's coming from," Negan admitted, "I might feel the same if I was in his position." He looked at her more directly, "But from the outside now I'd like to give your fuckin' plan a shot."

"How _are_ we going to track them down though," she asked, "Without putting our people in danger?"

He thought for a moment and shrugged. "I guess that's what town meetings are for."

Shelby nodded and walked over toward the front window. When she let out a little laugh Negan trailed up behind her.

"What?" he asked.

"He wasn't kidding."

Negan tried looking out the window to see what she did.

Shelby snickered, "He's, uh... he's going to talk to your wife."


	25. Peace Sign

When Negan headed back to the house he had yet another defense planned in his head for whatever Casey had said to Alexandra but her smile eased his mind a bit.

"God, you are just getting in trouble left and right," she teased, folding her arms across her chest as she met him on the porch.

"Fuck I was hoping that wasn't the case this time." He smiled back.

"It's not." Alexandra sighed and put up a peace sign with her fingers making him laugh.

"Been hanging out with Kismet too much." Negan leaned in and kissed her.

"That... and I've been in a good mood since we had out little vacation." She kissed him again with a smile that made him laugh another time.

"Well if you'd like an encore just say the word honey." Negan kissed her again and Alexandra pulled him in closer. "So, what did Casey tell you?"

Alexandra latched her arms around the back of his neck. "That you and Shelby wanted to work out some peace offering with that group."

"That's it?"

"Is there's more?"

"No... I guess there isn't." Negan smirked. "As always it could be d-"

"Dangerous," Alexandra finished his sentence. "Having sex in the back of a truck out in the woods with zombies all around and people who want us dead right around the corner... that's dangerous too."

"That's fuckin' stupid."

Alexandra laughed as he touched his nose to hers and then kissed her again playfully.

"That's fuckin' gross." Sarah's voice with an accompanied laugh carried through an open window next to where they stood.

"Shut the window," Negan shouted in, still grinning at Alexandra.

"No it's hot as balls in here."

Alexandra shook her head with a grin. "The language..."

He shrugged and smiled. "You're good with the idea of letting these people nearby?"

"Keep your friends close and enemies closer is the saying right?"

"The Godfather..."

"I can see Casey's point of view because of their past and these people did blow up part of the wall... but we did accidentally destroy their homes."

"Shit in the old days I would have just..." Negan shook his head. "Fuck it, it's not the old days. It's now. We need some fuckin' peace. Now it's just a matter of finding them."

"That's the part that worries me."

"Better us find them then they come back here armed and shit."

"I agree."

"Wow we actually agree on something... that's a fuckin' first as of late." He made a face and she shook her head.

"We don't disagree a lot."

Negan held up a small space in between his thumb and pointer finger. "A little."

Alexandra shook her head and continued to smile at him.

"There's always fuckin' something... or someone."

"Yeah. I'd like to see a different world by the time the kids are Sarah's age... and by the time Sarah is grown."

"Well this could be a step in the right direction... if these people don't want to fight."

"And if they do want to fight?"

"Then they're fuckin' stupid... and they'll deserve what happens to them."

"What about you?" Alexandra asked him. "How would you feel about that?"

Negan's face grew slightly more serious as he pondered the question. "I don't know. I hope it doesn't come to that."

"It doesn't always have to be you doing the dirty work, ya know."

Negan nodded. "I know. Unfortunately I do it the best."

"Doesn't mean you have to."

Negan gave a small smile and pulled her back against him. "I know."

Alexandra hugged him and rubbed his back as she did. "If you ever need a therapist I can be that too."

He laughed. "You're my doctor... my therapist..." Negan snickered, "You're my everything doll."

"Mmm..." Alexandra hugged him a little harder. "I can give you a therapy session later tonight if you're up for it."

Negan pulled back to face her with a big smile. "You mean you want to fu..."

Alexandra smothered his mouth with her hand and laughed quietly. She pointed to the open window and shook her head.

"I'm trying to be subtle," she told him quietly.

Negan couldn't help but laugh as she removed her hand away from his mouth. "Just you doing that got me a little fuckin' hard."

"Negan..."

"What?" He laughed. "Spring is in the fuckin' air honey."

"Just threw up in my mouth," Sarah said loud enough for them to hear.

"You can't talk like that," Alexandra scolded him, unable to keep from smiling.

"Since when?"

"Since... now."

"That's it, get assertive on me."

She smacked him lightly on the chest and he quickly grabbed her, making her laugh a little louder when he pulled her against him.

"I should get you jealous more often," he joked.

"I wasn't jealous," she told him. "I was really, really mad for a short time."

Negan kissed her cheek and hugged her against him closer.

"Hey, uh, Negan?" Matt called to him as he approached from the street. "I want to talk to you about this other group."

The front door opened and Sarah burst onto the porch at hearing Matt's statement.

Alexandra separated herself from him. "I'll go back in with the kids and let you guys talk." She tapped him on the chest with a half smile and then wandered toward the open front door.

"I'm sorry." Matt put a hand up.

"Don't be silly." Alexandra waved to him and disappeared inside.

"What is it?" Negan asked, glancing at Sarah as he put his hands on his hips.

"I want to go look for them today."

"Today?"

"Yeah... before they decide to come back here."

"Where do you plan on looking?"

"Start where started the fire... and follow all of the burned grass and trees, whatever else."

Negan scratched his head and then shrugged. "Fuck it. Let's just hit this shit head on."

"Okay." Matt nodded. "I'll start rounding people up."

"Alright."

Sarah turned to Negan when Matt made his way down off the steps. "Can I go?"

Negan let out a sigh through his nose and then nodded. "Don't make me regret it."

"Not a chance." She smiled and burst through the door as Negan slowly followed.

Alexandra had Lucy attached to her leg and Joseph in her arms. She attempted to approach Negan who couldn't help but grin from the way their child clung to her.

"We're heading out now," Negan told her reluctantly.

"Please be careful."

"Always." He walked up to her and kissed her once. "I'll make ya dinner when we get back."

"You may not be home for dinner." She gave a small smile and put a hand on his face.

"If I'm not then I owe you three a breakfast." He pinched Joseph's cheek, making him pull away and wave a hand to get him to stop.

"I'll hold you to it," Alexandra leaned in and kissed him again.

"And I'm going to hold you to that therapy session." He winked and kissed her again.

Sarah reappeared with weapons on each hip and a backpack. "Ready."

"You're going too?"Alexandra asked.

"This is what I do."

Negan smiled wide and skimmed a peace sign with his fingers. "Going to make peace. The hippies would be proud."

"Be careful," Alexandra said again. "Both of you."


	26. Ignore Button

The ashes of the mass walker kill lingered and death loomed over what was ultimately a mass grave. The forest had burned for acres along with any living things that might have been taking refuge - that or they were forced out of their homes like the community that attacked the Manor."

"Holy shit." Sarah exited the truck and slammed the door behind her as Negan killed the engine.

"Yeah." He shoved open the door and walked around the side of the truck so the two of them stood side by side overlooking the ruins.

"All the walkers went down into it?"

"I love of them." Negan looked at the remnants of the fire clearly for the first time. "Shit..."

Sarah looked at him. "What?"

He shook his head. "That's some serious shit." Negan reached into his pocket for a cigarette and then thought better of it, noting what Sarah's reaction would likely be.

"Do you really think we can make peace with these people?"

He took a deep breath and glanced over as the rest of their people pulled vehicles up to join them. "Well... peace has never been my fuckin' strong point. But we're going to fuckin' try."

"I think it's worth it," Sarah told him.

"Where do we start?" Vince asked aloud as he approached them with Matt.

Jack exited a third vehicle and Negan let out a short chuckle when Jane hopped out of the passenger side followed closely by another woman with long, wavy dark hair; Missy.

"They wanted to come," Matt said, already knowing what Negan was thinking.

"Do they even know how to fight?" he put a hand out.

"We're hoping they can be of persuasion for the opposite of that."

"But what if things don't go our way?"

"Where to?" Jack slapped his hands together and then looked at Negan with a smirk as Jane and Missy walked up beside him.

"Negan," Jane said casually, raising her eyebrows at him.

"Hi," he said and then glanced over to her left.

"This is Missy," Jane informed him. "My partner."

Negan grinned a little wider when Missy sized him up. "Well this is about as comfortable as fuckin' kick to the balls."

Jane turned to Missy upon his comment and her partner's mouth slowly curled up into a smile.

Sarah looked at the two of them and then to Negan. "Am I missing something?"

"Yes," the three of them said at the same time.

"We've crossed paths a number of times but we haven't formally met." Negan extended his hand toward Missy. "I'm-

"Negan," she finished, "I know."

"I'd never the two of you were..." He didn't finish his sentence.

"What exactly should a lesbian couple look like?" Jane asked him.

Negan's expression twisted in thought and it was almost as if everyone around them could see what he was imagining. "Not like the fuckin' two of you... at least from what I..." He stopped and saw an amused glare on Missy's face. "Never mind."

"That's a smart answer," Missy told him with a nod. "We worked on the wall all night... and we're here so."

"I would never say there is anything wrong with the love you two fuckin' share. It's fuckin' beautiful really." He grinned wide and motioned with his hands at the two of them. "Just fuckin' beautiful."

"That kick to the balls might be coming sooner than later," Missy informed him.

"Negan... shut up," Sarah said to him, shaking her head.

Jane and Missy laughed at the same time. "Listen to the kid," Jane told him.

"This could end up getting fuckin' hostile," Negan said, changing the subject to what they were about to do. "With these people." He put on a more serious expression. "I don't want to see anything bad happen. You're both comfortable with all of this?"

The two of them nodded and he nodded back.

"We're hoping things can be solved through a talk," Matt intervened. "This was all a mistake what happened with them... a big mistake but not malicious. We want them to see that."

"Are we just going to go hiking around through the woods looking for them?" Jack asked, looking around.

Matt exchanged glances with Negan and then Vince before looking back to Jack and nodding. "Yeah."

"Oh... okay." He shrugged.

"And if we find them?" Missy asked.

"If we find them then we're going to offer to patch up some of the other homes on the outside of the walls of the Manor. There are a number of them and the walkers are minimal now. We might be able to find them new homes... better homes."

"How do we find them?"

"Luck," Negan responded. "They may not even be around anymore... but if any of them are then you all can go at it with the peace offering."

"You all?" Jane asked, "What about you?"

"That's not my specialty."

"So what are you here for?"

"Protection." He looked at her more directly and then to Sarah.

"Trust me," Sarah told them, "You wouldn't want anyone else but him for that."

"This your daughter?" Missy asked.

Negan and Sarah looked at one another and shared a small smile before he nodded. "More or less."

"Yes," Sarah said with a nod.

"Are you here for the peace offering?" Jane asked.

"I'm here to protect," she replied.

"She's here for the peace offering," Negan countered.

"And for protection." Sarah looked up at him and mumbled loudly. "I've saved your life multiple times."

"She has?" Missy asked, looking at Negan again.

"She has," he confirmed with a nod. "Tough fuckin' kid." Negan nudged her with his elbow.

Sarah shrugged modestly with a smile.

"Well, we've got quite a group," Vince pointed out with a laugh.

"We should get moving," Matt suggested, "Burning daylight."

"I have to get back for dinner," Negan joked.

"And he cooks too," Missy shot at him.

"You should see the fuckin' tricks I have up my sleeve Missy." He grinned, "I'd have you batting for the other fuckin' team in no time."

She laughed out loud, "I'm fine with the team I'm on. Thanks."

"Suit yourself."

"Wait until I tell Alex how you're talking," Sarah said quietly.

Negan rolled his eyes and Missy looked at Sarah with a nod.

"Please do," she told her, still grinning. "Sounds like your woman deserves a medal."

"That I can agree with," Negan agreed with a nod.

"I like her," Jane said and looked at Missy, "She was ready to beat his ass the other day."

"So was I," Missy admitted. She looked back to Negan, who let out a hearty laugh.

"God, I miss the days of women fighting over me," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Don't flatter yourself," Jane told him, putting a hand out.

Matt cleared his throat and looked at the three of them. "Are we ready?"

"We're ready," Missy confirmed. "I'll just have to hit the ignore button on our hike."

"Oh honey you couldn't ignore me if you fuckin' tried." Negan winked and waved Sarah a step ahead of them. He was pleased when he saw Missy fight off a small smile and then patted Matt on the back. "Don't stress yourself out boss."

"I'm not," he said tightly. "But this could still end badly."

"I think I'm numb to it... that or I just have a good fuckin' feeling." Negan looked down at the ruins as they began to walk the woods that were still standing and bordered the fire trial. "Let's fuckin' hope it's the latter."


	27. Shot

The days were longer with the incoming warmer weather of late spring. Almost two hours had passed with the occasional stumbling walker that gave their group no issues. The small supply of water had been plenty for the short timespan they found themselves out looking for the anonymous group that they were currently in a quasi-feud with.

The land lingered with the smokey odor that hadn't quite vanished upon the oversized fire. It was eerie and quite literally one large dead zone.

"They may be gone," Vince commented as they went. He wipes sweat from his forehead. "We've scaled every inch of these woods... or what's left of them."

"This is depressing," Missy commented.

"Fuckin' weird as shit out here," Negan agreed. "No man's land."

"Scared?" Sarah joked.

"Pissing my pants," he replied dryly with a grin.

"We're probably a good half hour walk from the trucks," Matt said. He looked up toward the dimly lit sky.

"Guess someone won't be home for supper," Missy remarked, clearing her throat with a sly smirk. She saw Negan turn to her with a wide smile from the corner of her eye.

"Could it be any more obvious that you fuckin' want me Missy?" he shot back.

She and Jane both laughed out loud together. "You crack me up," Missy told him.

"Ladies he's taken," Jack informed them. "But I'm available."

Missy looked to Jane. "What don't these men understand?"

"Men are dumb," Jane whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"No we get the concept," Negan explained. "The two of you are just..."

"Hot," Jack finished.

"You're such Neanderthals," Missy told them, shaking her head but she smiled. "I can't say I don't mind the humor though. Takes your mind off this mess." She motioned to the world around them.

"I don't even see fuckin' structures for houses," Negan pointed out. "Where the fuck were these people living? Fuckin' tree houses?" He scanned the area with his eyes and looked upward toward the branches of the trees that were still standing.

"Like they're ghosts man," Jack said. "We walked all the way up the fuckin' fire trail on one side and we're halfway back on the other. I mean what the hell man."

"We still have some ground to cover," Negan pointed out. "The fire hit this whole area too." He motioned with his hand.

They walked in silence for another ten minutes or so, spreading out into small groups within an eye shot of one another. As the world grew darker it became harder and harder to see what was what.

"Let's just bail... like tell them it's time to go the hell home." Sarah suggested quietly to Negan. "Why the hell are we even out here?"

"Protective detail remember?" He continued to look ahead in search of something as they walked.

"This is getting lame fast." She kicked stray pieces of wood with her sneaker. "Really fuckin' fast."

"Everyone wants to make peace... and for the first time that makes fuckin' sense to me."

Sarah let out a small sigh through her nose and continued on side by side with him. "What'd those hippies do to you?" She remarked quietly, making him smile to himself.

NNegan knew he wasn't the best role model but he got a small bout of joy knowing he had some impact on how Sarah had turned out. She had a smart mouth and was sneaky, but he also knew she was a fighter and a survivor. Years ago he never would have guessed he would trust his own life in the hands of a teenage girl, but she had beaten any odds that would have proven otherwise.

He was about to say something in an attempt to make her chuckle but reality interrupted his thoughts.

"Negan." The radio he carried with him sounded off and he had to focus on what his brain was trying to tell him. The voice belonged to Alexandra.

"Alex?" He asked, pressing his eyebrows together.

Her voice was calm on the surface but shaky underneath. "If you can come home, um..." When she paused he felt his heart miss a beat.

"What's wrong?" Negan asked, making quick eye contact with Sarah and then scanning the world around them a little more urgently. Simultaneously Sarah raised her weapon and looked around.

"Alex..." he said again, raising his voice in a panic when she didn't initially respond.

"Something happened... we're okay."

"What happened?" He waved Sarah with him and the two of them ran in the direction of the cars. "Honey fuckin' talk to me." He breathed heavier as he began to run faster over the ashes of the forest.

"Negan." The voice was different now. "It's Nancy."

"Nancy what the fuck's going on?"

"First off, your family is okay," she responded. "So don't go off the deep end with what I'm about to say next."

Before Negan could come back with something to say Nancy resumed.

"Joseph's been shot... in the ear."

Sarah whipped her head around as they ran, almost shocked enough to stop running but she kept up with Negan.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He shrieked into the receiver.

"I'm sorry," Nancy replied. "He doesn't have any life threatening injuries but come home... as soon as possible."

"Is he okay?" Negan shouted again. He put his hand on his head and momentarily stopped in his tracks to catch his breath. Dry sobs left his mouth and then he actively had to calm himself down. He put his hand over his mouth a moment out of immediate shock and sadness. "He was fucking shot? How the fuck was he fucking shot?" Negan removed his fingers from the button and cussed explosively, feeling tears develop in the corners of his eyes.

"Come home. He's okay Negan," Nancy assured him. "Come straight to the medical building."

Sarah put a hand on his forearm and he glanced down, wiping away tears from his eyes.

Negan took a deep breath and tucked the radio back on his pants and began to run again, knowing Sarah would keep pace with him.

He didn't care about the rest of the group in the woods or what they would think of his absence. Negan needed to get home to see his baby.

Sent from my iPhone


	28. Flesh Wound

**I don't know why but FF has not been sending email alerts when new chapters have been posted. There may be one or two before this chapter that were not sent out as notifications. I'm not sure if this one will have an email notification or not but if it seems like a chunk of the story is missing then just go back to the previous chapter because no email alert was sent out for it! Thanks :)**

* * *

Negan nearly drove through the front gates of the Manor. He laid on the horn, never letting up until the gates rose. He didn't care if he steered every walker left roaming the area in their direction. All he could think about was how bad his son was hurt.

Worst case scenarios popped into Negan's mind. All he could imagine was Joseph's head covered in blood as Alexandra struggled to keep her composure as she tended to his injuries.

 _How the fuck was he shot?_ Negan floored the gas pedal down the main Manor road and came to a reckless, squealing stop by the medical building, sending both him and Sarah lurching forward in their seats.

She followed him out of the car, running just a step behind him as they hurried inside where Nancy was already waiting by the door.

"Where is he?" Negan asked as she opened the door, allowing the two of them in ahead of her.

"In that main room," she informed him, though could tell he was already headed in that direction.

Alexandra gave a look of sadness but relief when Negan walked through the door and approached where she laid with Joseph against her chest. A white bandage was wrapped around his head and just the tiniest amount of blood had crept through on the right side where his ear was covered.

Negan crouched down and put a hand on his son's head, who was sleeping now in Alexandra's arms. He leaned his ear close and waited until he heard Joseph's tiny breaths to assure he was breathing properly and then switched his hand to Alexandra's cheek, letting his thumb dance across where tears had streaked. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly, looking at he intently.

She swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah." Alexandra wiped a tear away and cleared her throat. "Lucy's with Kismet and George at their house. I didn't want her to be upset here."

Negan kissed her forehead and hugged her against him. "What happened? He's okay? Joseph's okay?"

Alexandra nodded but had trouble getting the series of events out. "Um..." She cleared her throat again and took a long, deep breath. "One of them..."

He locked his eyes on hers seeing them weld up with tears.

"Is JoJo going to be okay?" Sarah asked meekly from the end of the bed.

Alexandra nodded and tried to smile, only sending her into another, quiet crying spell that she fought adamantly to hold back.

Negan sat down beside her on the bed and hugged her against him. "It's alright. I'm sorry Alex. I shouldn't have left."

"It was a, uh..." She attempted to catch her breath but couldn't fully keep the events of the close-call out of her mind. "I thought he was dead Negan." Alexandra shook her head and wrapped her hand protectively around Joseph's head. "He was two steps in front of me." She put her other hand on her forehead. "If he was one step further..." Alexandra closed her eyes, imagining what could have resulted from the stray bullet.

"Who fired the shot?" Negan asked.

Alexandra swallowed hard. "A rogue member of that group," she took in a deep breath. "He got in from the back by the barn. Suicidal mission I guess. I... I don't know." She dried her eyes again.

"So he's dead?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

Negan felt his jaw tighten as a heat rose in his chest from fury and anger. He glanced down at Joseph again and felt the rage turn back to sadness and he kissed the top of his son's head. When Joseph stirred just a little and his eye flickered open, Negan let himself go and let a heavy, genuine sob ripple through his body.

"Dad." Joseph's voice was as sleepy as were his eyes, which only opened halfway as he stared at his father.

"Hey buddy." Tears fell from both of his eyes and he drew a hand along his face before bowing his head as he was unable to control himself.

Alexandra bit down on her bottom lip and closed her eyes, feeling the dampness against the area under her eyes. She placed a hand on the back of Negan's head as he continued to cry uncontrollably.

"He's okay," she said quietly and then glanced up at Sarah. "It's okay Sarah." Alexandra waved her in their direction upon seeing her glazed over eyes.

Joseph let out a little groan and stirred against Alexandra, nestling the side of his face against her chest and curling his tiny legs up toward his body in the fetal position.

Negan glanced up and ran a hand over the bandage on Joseph's head, touching the area gently where the blood ran through.

"It didn't get his head?" He asked, drying his eyes.

"It grazed his head," Alexandra informed him. "Just barely a scratch. I put a butterfly stitch on it. His poor little ear though." She reached her other arm to pull Sarah in for a hug.

"Is his ear..." Sarah began to ask but couldn't finish the rest of the sentence.

"The top of it," Alexandra nodded knowing what she was asking.

Sarah glanced at Negan who was fixated on Joseph.

"These fuckin' people who we were out there trying to help did this shit?" Negan wiped his eyes again with one hand. "And I'm out there trying to fuckin' find them while one of them fuckin' shoots our son."

Alexandra put a hand gently on his forearm. "The man paid for it."

"That's not even close to fuckin' good enough."

"Let it be good enough... for Joseph." Alexandra pleaded with her eyes. "I don't want another war Negan. I can't handle it. I want our babies to grow up not having to witness it any more than they have already."

A conflict brewed within him and he felt the sadness overtake the anger again. "I'll do whatever you want baby."

Alexandra squeezed his arm. "I love you," she said in a voice just above a whisper.

"How deep is the wound on his head?"

She shook her head. "Not deep. I analyzed and analyzed, and then Nancy analyzed and analyzed." Alexandra managed the smallest of smiles. "I'm his mother. I'd know if something was wrong."

Negan nodded and looked down at Joseph again. He ran a hand over the top of his head and then leaned up and kissed Alexandra once. "I'm so fuckin' sorry I wasn't here when this happened."

"It's not your fault." Alexandra shook her head.

"What if they find those people?" Sarah asked. "And they come back here?"

Negan looked at Alexandra. "I can't live next to those fuckin' people now," he claimed.

"Then we should call our people off the search," Alexandra said.

"If I find any one of them..." Negan began, but then stopped.

"I'll fucking kill them," Sarah said quietly. She carefully placed a hand on Joseph's head. "Poor JoJo."

Alexandra knew Negan wasn't going to let the incident go, no matter how bad he wanted to for her sake. She couldn't blame him; not after what had happened to their son. What she hoped for was simply his harsh rejection to the people of the woods who they had mistakenly crossed paths with. Joseph was alright after the close call and the attacker claimed to be rogue. He was dead. They were fine.

"Please Negan." Alexandra looked at him again. "For me... just this once." She shook her head, "I can't handle it."

He reached for her hand and kissed the backs of her knuckles. "Okay."

"Please," she reiterated the word, noting that he wouldn't intentionally go against her wishes, though his strong personality had the ability to take over his more logical side at times.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to Alexandra." Negan looked her directly in the eye. "I swear on our son." He swallowed hard noting the significance of his words. "I won't start shit with anyone." Negan glanced at Sarah, "Neither of us will."


	29. Boxer's Break

Negan laid on the couch with his feet perched up in recliner and Joseph sleeping on his chest. Every few minutes he fought off the feeling of his eyes closing and tried to focus on the movie Alexandra had put on for them all to watch.

On the other couch, Lucy had her head rested on a pillow on Alexandra's lap and held her mother's hand as they all attempted to be distracted by what was on the screen.

Sarah sat similarly to Negan on the opposite end of the couch as him with her feet outstretched and hadn't said much since they'd gotten back from the medical station.

In the earlier hours of the evening a number of people had stopped in - Nancy, Kismet, George, Annie, Matt among several others that were out on the mission in the woods. The company and check-ins had slowly died down leaving the five of them to the quiet of their home.

"He's getting so big," Alexandra said to Negan.

He looked down at Joseph and touched his tiny hand. "He's got big hands for a kid." Negan smiled. "Would have been a good football player... basketball player."

"Like his father?" She raised her eyebrows.

"I had the crowds chanting my name on Friday nights in high school... girls lined up at my locker." Negan winked at Alexandra who shook her head and laughed. "What you don't believe it?"

"I believe it." She laughed lightly. "I wouldn't have even been on your radar then. I was probably in about 5th grade your senior year."

Negan snickered and kissed the top of Joseph's head. "He's really going to be alright?"

Alexandra nodded and felt Lucy's hand squeeze hers gently as she adjusted against her. "Yeah."

"Poor fuckin' kid," he said quietly.

"We're lucky."

"I can't believe this shit."

Alexandra could see his jaw tense as he thought about it. "Hey," she said, prompting Negan to glance over. "He's okay." She half-smiled at him.

Negan relaxed and leaned his head all the way back and closed his eyes. "I fuckin' hate everybody."

Sarah turned her head. "Even me?"

"Especially you," he joked, winking after she didn't look away to let her know he was kidding.

"You don't hate everyone," Alexandra said, looking at him.

"Outside of this house," Negan made a circular motion, purposely with his middle finger, "Yes I do."

"What about Matt and Annie?"

"Fuck 'em." He smiled when Alexandra gave him a look and shook her head.

"Stop."

Negan let out a loud sigh and looked down at Joseph. "Fuckin' love you guys though."

"Will there, uh..." Sarah cleared her throat. "Will there be another addition to the family soon?" She looked at Alexandra, but Negan abruptly jumped in.

"Your detective work was off champ," he said to Sarah. "I forgot to tell you that shit."

"What?"

"You did a great fuckin' job snooping around but the test you found in the garbage was Kismet's."

"What!" Sarah straightened up in her seat.

"Easy." Negan put up a hand. "What the fuck do you care."

"New baby alert, that's why I care." Sarah looked at Alexandra. "Is all that true?"

She smiled and laughed. "Yeah."

"No shit?"

"No shit."

"I want to tell her congrats!"

"Not many people know yet," Alexandra explained. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone but after the little misunderstanding," she cleared her throat purposely loud, "Or spying... I was forced to."

"So don't fuckin' say anything," Negan concluded. "Got it?"

Sarah made a motion like she was zipping her lips.

"Shit, I'm fuckin' tired." He rubbed his eyes with his free hand and closed his eyes as he leaned his head all the way back.

"Stop fighting it," Alexandra told him. "Go to sleep."

He grumbled a response making her smile and glanced down at Lucy sleeping soundly against her.

A knock at the door made everyone turn and look.

"I got it," Sarah leapt to her feet and hurried over, flinging it open before the second knock could take place.

"Hey." Casey gave a polite wave. "Mind if I come in for a sec? I know Shelby already stopped by..."

"Of course." Alexandra waved him in and she gave Negan another look when he partially rolled his eyes, not wanting to be bothered.

"Just checking in on Joe. How's he doing?"

"Fine," Negan replied. "Sleeping."

"He's alright? No permanent damage?"

"Well nothing life threatening," Alexandra explained. "The very top of his ear he won't get back." She subconsciously let out a sigh as she looked at Joseph and her facial features immediately changed into a pout.

"I'm sorry," Casey said to both of them. "I just came to check on him."

"He's tough. He'll recover," Negan assured him. "Thanks for stopping by."

Casey partially turned toward the door but stood still for a moment and then went on. "What do you guys think about these people now? I don't think we should let them side with us."

Alexandra and Negan made eye contact before he responded. "No... not anymore."

"We should think about, I don't know, think about counterattacking."

"Nah." Negan leaned back, feeling his face grow hot.

"What do you mean no?"

"I'm not a dictator but I ain't doing shit."

"Even after-"

"Yes!" Negan shouted and then looked down at Joseph who still laid sleeping against him. He adjusted, slinking his body from underneath as carefully as possible without waking up his son.

"I think we need to," Casey challenged. "First the wall and now this?"

"We're done looking to help them, that's all. The fucker who did this is dead and if that's good enough for Alex then that's good enough for me."

Casey paused and then shook his head. "So they do this to your kid and you're not even going to do anything about it?" He let out a breath through his nose. "To your kid," he reiterated, "That's weak."

Negan felt a surge run through him and without even thinking he felt his fist collide with Casey's jaw and the two of them went sprawling to the the ground.

"Fuck." He shook his hand from the instant pain and Alexandra hopped up from where she sat in an attempt to put herself between them.

"Negan!" she shouted, tugging at his shoulder.

"Say that shit again!" Negan shouted, still holding a hand on the center of Casey's chest while nursing the other one.

"Stop!" Alexandra continued to pull at him until he finally stood up.

Sarah was on her feet now and Lucy woke up, now on her knees on the couch and looking over the top of it toward the commotion.

Casey sat up, holding the side of his face where a welt was already forming high on his cheek bone. Alexandra knelt beside him, attempting to examine the wound and to keep Negan in control.

"Shit..." Casey continued to hold onto his face.

"That wasn't fuckin' weak was it?" Negan went on, taking in several deep breaths, "You have a lot of fuckin' balls coming in here and saying that shit to me." He stood in the silence in the middle of all of them before shaking his hand again and heading up the stairs toward the bathroom, "Fuck."

When Alexandra turned her attention back to Casey he began to stand up on his own. "I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" She helped him up using his arm and and he nodded.

"Yeah."

"It's already swelling."

"I didn't mean to say that," Casey confessed, still holding his face. "It... came out wrong. I deserved it."

Alexandra turned to Sarah, "Would you mind walking him down to the med building? Nancy may still be there."

"Sure," she nodded.

"Mom..." Lucy spoke for the first time and Alexandra walked over to her, picking her up under her arms and holding her up in her arms. She looked at Joseph who hadn't woken up in the midst of the momentary chaos and assumed it was the medication he was on. Still, Alexandra waited until she saw his chest rise and fall with a breath before looking away.

"I'm okay," Casey assured them, "I can get there myself."

Alexandra shook her head. "If you were to pass out alone no one would know about it."

"I'll walk you," Sarah offered again and then swung open the front door. "I wouldn't recommend poking the bear again."

Casey let his eyebrows rise and fall, still holding his face, before following her out and closing the door behind them.

Alexandra would have laughed if she wasn't on edge from what had just happened from Sarah's choice of words but she couldn't even crack a smile. She looked around the room not wanting to leave Joseph but decided to take a quick moment to check on Negan upstairs.

"Lucy can you see by JoJo for a minute?" she asked, "It's the best part of the movie and I'll get you a little snack... okay?"

Lucy nodded and slumped out of her mother's arms, joining Joseph on the larger of the two couches without question.

Alexandra took the short set of stairs to the second level and turned right into the first door to see Negan running his hand under cold water. He turned to look at her as she walked in and then glanced back down at his hand.

"Think you broke something?" she asked, approaching the sink.

"Yup," he answered honestly, allowing her to gently take his hand in both of hers.

Alexandra ran her hand along the exterior bone that attached to his pinkie and felt him pull back just slightly when she pushed down on the area. "Boxer's break." She nodded to herself, "You're swelling up already too."

"I felt it happen the second I hit the mother fucker."

She stared at him for a moment and he shrugged.

"What?" he asked

"He may have a broken cheek bone, I sent him to Nancy."

"So."

Alexandra raised her eyebrows. "He's not a bad guy. His wife is pregnant."

"So," Negan repeated, "What the fuck's that have to do with him running his mouth down here on that day our son gets fuckin' shot?"

"It was wrong of him to say," she agreed, "I don't think he meant it. He has a history with these people and he wants to keep his family safe too. It came out wrong, and he was absolutely wrong. He knows that."

Negan shook his head and let out a deep breath through his nose.

"I'm siding with you," Alexandra pointed out. She put a hand on the side of his ran and then ran her fingers through the side of his hair. "But now you're hurt... he's hurt. I don't want you to be."

"I wish I could have a fraction of that," he told her, "A fraction of the ability to not get fuckin' fired up the way that I do sometimes... but I'm sitting there half asleep with Joseph who just got half his ear shot off and I have to fuckin' defend my decision not to go after these fucking people when inside of me I'd like to rip them all apart."

"I know," Alexandra nodded, "I know. You're not wrong... I just don't want to see you get hurt... and I don't want more attacks on our community that will continue to put our children at risk, or anyone really but," she sighed, "especially them."

"I won't go against what you want. I know you're right." Negan shook his head. "I know I've said this shit in the past and gone against what you asked me. I won't this time. And I've never done that shit to be an asshole."

Alexandra paid attention to his hand again. "I need to get you some ice for this... and I need to secure it."

"Since we've met you've been patching up my fuckups."

She managed a small smile and kissed him quickly once. "That's what I'm here for." Alexandra reached for his good hand and towed him with her toward the stairs. "So much for foreplay for awhile."

Negan chuckled. "I have two hands."

"Mom..." Lucy whined as they reached the first floor.

"I'll get your snack honey," Alexandra said to her.

"No." She held her arms out and shook her head prompting Alexandra to change course and head to the couch.

"Mom's gotta take care of all of us," Negan said aloud to no one in particular. He sat down next to Joseph as Alexandra scooped up their daughter into her arms.

"Yes she does," she agreed as Lucy laid her head down on her shoulder. "I'm going to take this one up to bed. I'll be down in a little while and I'll get you ice."

"I'll go down and get it," Negan told her.

"No, it's fine." Alexandra took the stairs slowly holding Lucy in her arms.

Negan could hear how emotionally exhausted she was from the sound of her voice between everything that had gone on during the day leaving Joseph relatively lucky compared to what could have happened. The event wasn't something that would soon blow over for either one of them.

Before he could insist again that he make the trip to the medical building the front door flung open and Sarah whipped in like a mini tornado.

"Here," she smiled and held up a bag of ice, "Thought you'd need it for your hand." Sarah tossed the bag and Negan caught it with his left hand.

"Thanks kid." He placed the bag over the outside part of his hand where the swelling grew by the minute. "He alright?"

"Left a mark," she informed him, still grinning halfway. "Think he's okay though."

Negan nodded and sighed, looking at his son sleeping beside him on the couch. He thought hard about Alexandra's words and knew she was right. He wanted to keep their children from all the dangers that lurked around them and prayed they would grow up in a better world than what they had all been living in for so long. Mostly, he had to keep his pride in check and for him that wasn't always the easiest task. Casey's words still infuriated him but he knew he had to do what was right for his family. He had to let it go; let it all go - the fact that he wanted to seek revenge, that he wanted to go back and tell off Casey some more after his remarks that night.

Alexandra's wishes were far more important, he knew, and he also knew that she was speaking with a mother's heart and a mother's rationale. For her, for their children, for their family Negan knew he had to keep it together. He had to do the hardest thing for him to do; he had to let it go.


	30. Mother and Children

**Yay to Negan dreams Guest! lol Just saw that and I love it! :)**

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Lucy had fallen asleep almost right away after fussing for several minutes with Alexandra upstairs. The hour was late for her to be up but no one fought it after what had happened to Joseph earlier in the day. All Alexandra really wanted to do was create some sense of normalcy in their home and attempt to relax together. For a short time she'd gotten that until the scuffle occurred between Negan and Casey that left her husband's right hand broken.

From there, she had put Lucy to bed, spent a few extra emotional minutes with Joseph and changed his bandage before heading down to the medical building to get a few supplies she knew they had to secure Negan's broken bone properly.

The day felt never ending, though Alexandra knew she had to be grateful for the wellbeing of her children. Lucy was fine and Joseph, while his injuries upset her in ways she didn't know were possible until that day, was going to be alright, as well. His injuries were not life threatening and when she had left the house he was back asleep against Negan's chest.

Nancy had given Alexandra her space after tending to Casey and giving Sarah the ice pack a short time before. She simply asked, "What do you need dear?" and then helped her friend find the elements necessary to patch up Negan's hand.

"I need a vacation," was how Alexandra responded, prompting Nancy to smile until she saw that Alexandra was visibly upset after saying the words in jest.

All day Nancy had been there for her and this was no different. When Alexandra sunk down into a chair in their 'waiting room' area Nancy immediately squatted beside her and put an arm around her shoulders as she began to cry out of exhaustion, frustration and the fear that still lingered knowing she could have lost her child that day.

For a minute Alexandra just sat and sobbed, needing the time without her entire family surrounding her to really cry. It was everything all at once. In that moment she cried harder than she had even just after Joseph was shot. The reality of it all truly sunk in despite the way she tried to mask it all for her children by popping in a movie and sitting quietly scattered about the living room. Sure, she had cried earlier in the day but this time her chest heaved, her breath was hard to catch and by the end of it her eyes ached and burned.

Nancy rubbed her back, encouraging her to let it all out. She stood up only once to gather tissues and then squatted back down, holding them out when she sensed Alexandra had calmed down just slightly.

"I'm sorry Nancy." Alexandra shook her head and sniffed in, "I really just came down here for the supplies."

Nancy ran a hand through her hair in a motherly fashion. "You don't have to apologize to me. I cried by myself for your son when you left."

"You did?"

She nodded. "I think I would have been out hunting these people myself if something worse happened to him."

Alexandra took a deep breath and tried to dry her puffy eyes. She composed herself and then spoke again. "Am I wrong to hold Negan back? To not let him go after these people for this?"

"No," Nancy replied right away. "I think the man needs your input to stay grounded. They say women are emotional but men are just as much. They just go about it differently. Negan is an emotional man; highly charged all the time. He needs you in times like this to make the right decision; the smart decision."

She sniffled in again. "How was Casey?"

"Bruised a bit but I didn't feel anything moving in there. Probably just going to be some swelling, bruising." Nancy raised her eyebrows. "He wouldn't elaborate on what happened but from the ice Sarah retrieved and the splint I'm guessing a physical altercation ensued."

"To say the least." Alexandra sighed. "We were all watching TV. Casey came over and called Negan weak for not wanting to retaliate against these people for what happened to Joe."

Nancy nodded. "I see."

"I swear sometimes it's like me and four kids in that house." She managed a small smile that turned into a laugh as Nancy let out a chuckle.

"I think every wife has said that at one point or another."

"Yeah?" Alexandra leaned an elbow on the countertop and rested her head in her palm. "You too?"

"Oh dear God, yes." Nancy laughed again. "My husband used to leave his boots in the middle of the floor - always had me tripping over them. Or he'd track mud through the house five minutes after I'd mopped." She smiled, "He'd lie to me about smoking in the house... just like a teenager."

"Glad I'm not the only one." She laughed.

"I hope there is some solace in knowing you're not." Nancy smiled softly. "Men wouldn't last a day without us, ya know."

Alexandra smiled and nodded in agreement. "Thank you Nancy. I'm really sorry for-"

"Hush." She rose to her feet and handed over one more tissue. "We're here for each other." The two of them shared a hug and Alexandra grabbed what she had come for before bidding Nancy a farewell as she, too, made her way across the way to her own house.

When Alexandra arrived at home she shut the door behind her and stood in the empty living room for a moment with her back against the door. The television was off, though the lights were on and it sounded as if the house was vacant aside from the light thump of music coming from what she assumed was Sarah's room.

She made her way to the stairs, prompting Negan to duck out of the children's room and greet her in the small hallway. Alexandra held out her hands with the splinting material but Negan looked at her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah." Alexandra nodded.

"Were you crying?"

She knew she couldn't lie; not with the physical evidence that was painted on her face. "Just venting to Nancy that's all."

"A lot of shit was put on you today," Negan told her, "I can't imagine witnessing what you did Alex."

"I'm okay now," Alexandra assured him with a confident nod. "I'm sure I'll think back to this day and have a moment but right now... I'm good."

"I know I don't make things easier for you," he confessed.

"You do."

"Not today." Negan sighed and looked at her sympathetically. "I feel like all I do is apologize to you."

"Well stop." She half-smiled but he didn't.

"I mean it. You and me, we're fuckin' partners honey and I'm causing this team extra fuckin' work." He motioned back and forth between the two of them. "I need to do shit differently and I say I will all the time but I fall back into old habits like that." Negan snapped his fingers to emphasize his point and shook his head.

"Negan..." Alexandra looked at him directly and spoke strongly. "I love you... every part of you. You don't cause extra work, you and I just have different roles. Today my motherly role was maxed out. I never thought I'd feel the fear I felt when I almost lost Joseph, and then again when I had to check and make sure Lucy hadn't been hit either. Reliving it is horrifying and sad, and it's frustrating that I can't keep it all from reentering my mind over and over again." She paused, "And the little fight, it was the last straw that broke me down just enough to want to cry again, but I needed to. I needed that moment alone away from all of you to get it out. If it didn't happen just now it would have eventually - sooner than later."

Negan stared down at her, taking in everything she said and not prepared to cut her off, even in a break in her explanation.

"What I need now is for you to let me fix your hand and then I need your big, strong body to cuddle around me so I can finally fall asleep and forget this _fucking_ day ever happened." When he didn't immediately respond she raised her eyebrows and looked him in the eye. "Okay?"

He nodded and pulled her against him with his good hand and kissed her forehead as she melted against him. "Okay."


	31. Good Morning

**Apple Bloom, yes good idea! I always want to respond to the guest comments. I have been loosely following the comics, keeping it true as much as I can and referencing the comic. I'm going to continue to do so going forward. :)**

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Every hour on the hour Alexandra woke up to check on Joseph, sometimes more frequently. The first few times Negan awoke with her, sitting up to check and make sure everything was alright though he began to sleep through her frequent, quiet leaps out of bed to make sure their son was still breathing.

Each time she had to consciously remind herself that it was just a scratch; that nothing serious had taken place despite what could have been.

 _A scratch?_ she argued with herself in her mind. _The top of his ear is gone._ And then there was the rebuttal, _But Joseph's not._

Alexandra laid with her son for a long while during the final time she had gotten up to check on him, though he never stirred. When she left his room, after nearly a half hour, it was after five o'clock in the morning. Despite the broken sleep she didn't feel overly tired, though assumed exhaustion would catch up with her at some point in the day to follow.

When she reentered the room she shared with Negan he laid on his back snoring lightly and unaware of anything that was going on around him. In the early, quiet hour Alexandra took a moment to relive their history and never would have guessed they would be where they currently were. After Lucy she assumed that was it in terms of children. Realistically Alexandra would have had three or four children if the circumstances were different but she felt lucky to come out of the dangers of labor unscathed. Now that she had both Joseph, Lucy and also Sarah to care for, it really was a dream come true.

 _I hope Shelby's and Kismet's pregnancies go well_ , she prayed.

Negan, too, had come full circle in his life. He had opened up to her about the toll losing his wife Lucille had taken on him, and then his stay as the leader of the Sanctuary where even she could admit he was practicing behaviors that were deviant, at best. Still, she knew what the times were and what it took to survive and so she understood and thankfully helped him past the killing and the womanizing and everything else he did in an attempt to make the pain go away. Alexandra felt that aside from bearing his children that bringing Negan out of that terrible time of his life was her greatest accomplishment. He was a good man in the worst of settings and it wasn't because she wanted him to be that way, it was what _he_ wanted.

Alexandra sat down on the edge of the bed beside him and despite not wanting to wake him she ran a hand along the side of his face. When he stirred and let his eyes flicker open she felt a little bad for waking him.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"Nothing." She smiled and shook her head. "Joseph's fine. We're fine."

Negan took her hand in his and closed his eyes again. "Good."

Alexandra leaned down and touched her lips to his before sliding in beside him and resting a head on his bare chest. "Things are good." She had never felt more grateful in her life after what had happened that day.

"Yeah." He lazily draped an arm around her back but kept his eyes closed.

When Alexandra let out a heavy sigh Negan opened his eyes and she glanced up at him.

"You okay?" he asked quietly. "What time is it?"

"Just after five," she whispered and then nodded to answer his first question.

"You sure?"

Alexandra sat partially upright and leaned an arm on his chest before kissing him one time on the lips. "I love you Negan. I appreciate everything you have done every step of the way for our family. I mean that."

He half-smiled. "I couldn't do it without ya honey." Negan lifted his head when she walked to the open door and closed it before removing her t-shirt and shorts. Within seconds she was sliding back in bed, immediately positioning herself on top of him with a heated kiss.

Alexandra got lost in the moment she initiated as he held her against him, her breasts pressed against his chest where she could quite literally feel the thumping of his heart in a rhythm that turned more frantic by the second.

Negan felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck when she brought her lips down to his collar bone and kissed him there so sensually that he moaned. He pushed her legs apart with his knee and felt her arousal from the choked out, choppy breaths that she let out against him when she felt him pressed hard up against her.

She wanted to kiss every part of his body, but worked her way to his ear and let her tongue dance from end to end.

"Alex..." Negan whispered her name and grabbed her tighter with one hand as his other drifted down as far as he could reach, urging one of her legs up higher against his waistline.

Alexandra kissed him hard again and between the movements that took place between the two of them felt them connect in the sensual embrace that she had thought about so abruptly upon seeing her husband laying there asleep on his back.

Negan knew there were different types of making love - fun, playful, playfully aggressive at times; but every now and then he felt something with Alexandra that he hadn't experienced with any other woman in his life. From the second she kissed his collarbone he knew it would be one of those times, and so he held her with care, kissed her gently and allowed her to be in control as she rocked on top of him.

He touched his thumb to her lips and closed his eyes as pleasure filtered into him when she took the top of it into her mouth. "I love you." Negan didn't often say the words when they were intimately together but he couldn't help himself. He knew she needed to hear it.

Alexandra guided his hand from her face to her breast as she carried on and said the words back to him in a whisper.

Negan sat up partway, struggling for a moment but then secured his mouth against her left breast. She entangled a hand in his hair and hugged him close with her other hand as he lifted her off of him for a moment to kiss down her chest toward her bellybutton. Her moans alone nearly set him off, but he consciously held himself back and thought of her needs above his own. When he worked his way back up her body and felt them reconnect he had to hold her still for a moment.

Negan moaned in such a way that Alexandra could tell he wasn't far from where he was desperately trying not to be. She didn't care. All she wanted was for him to kiss her; to touch her. She needed that and she'd gotten what she wanted.

His hand shook against her lower back, the other placed on her face and the side of his cheek was pressed to hers as he struggled to think of other things that would temporarily draw him out of the moment in order to preserve it for Alexandra.

She moved on top of him again, holding him close. "It's okay," Alexandra assured him, whispering in his ear as she breathing heavily, enjoying their final seconds together before feeling him release with a series of quiet, desperate moans and twitches that he so badly tried to fight.

Negan's mouth hung open in the second to follow and he let out several final breaths against her. "God... Alex..." He took a breath and let his lips dance beneath her earlobe against her neck, "I'm sorry."

Alexandra held him against her and closed her eyes when she felt him begin to kiss the more sensitive parts of her neck. "Mmm... don't be."

Negan drew his head back and kissed her on the lips, letting his thumb trace her lips again for a moment before slowly laying back down in a supine position. He let out a few more breaths when Alexandra laid down with him and he kissed her forehead this time.

She swallowed hard, still aroused from the moment but content laying on top of him in the darkness as his breathing gradually became steady again. Neither of them said anything for several minutes until Negan finally spoke.

"You still awake?"

Alexandra felt a smile slowly spread across her face and she glanced up at him. "Yeah."

Negan toyed with her hair, looking her in the eyes. "You're so fuckin' beautiful honey." He meant it, but he felt sometimes she needed to hear it.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He gave a closed-mouth smile, "You alright after everything that happened?"

"Yeah." Alexandra smiled back at him.

"You're a strong fuckin' woman Mama." Negan continued to hold her eye contact, "You better know that."

"We're a team," she reminded him.

"Yes we are."

Alexandra smiled wider and then leaned up and kissed him again. "I'll let you get back to sleep." She tucked herself in the nook of his arm and smiled to herself when he kissed the top of her head and cuddled her to him.

Negan closed his eyes again, letting his fingers dance along her back. "I'll check on JoJo next time."

"Mmm... he's alright. I've already checked ten times." Alexandra sighed. "Goodnight Negan."

He smiled to himself. "Good morning."


	32. Ice Cream for Breakfast

Alexandra woke up early despite the broken sleep throughout the night. She had tossed and turned attempting to make the night last just a little longer but when she laid awake facing the ceiling for close to a half hour she wandered out of the room and into Joseph's, finding him laying awake in his bed to her surprise.

"Hi honey," Alexandra whispered, not wanting to wake up Lucy in the process who laid in her own bed a few feet away.

Joseph let out a quiet yawn and then pushed the covers off of himself using his hands at first and then his feet.

"Are you hot honey?"

He nodded and then got out of bed. "Can I get up?"

Alexandra waved a hand toward him and Joseph slowly edged out of bed, immediately linking his hand with his mother's as they exited the room. When she pulled the door shut behind them she immediately squatted down in the hallway. "Can Mommy feel your forehead?"

Joseph nodded again and closed his eyes when Alexandra's cool palm pressed against his head, brushing his dark brown hair back. For a moment she let her hand lie there, the doctor and the mother in her always needing additional confirmation that he was alright.

"No fever," Alexandra whispered to herself with a smile. Relief took over her and she hugged Joseph.

"What's a fever?"

She pulled back and put her hands on either of his cheeks. "It's when you're sick and you feel really hot."

"I feel hot."

Alexandra laughed lightly, tears developing in the corners of her eyes from the precious, innocent nature of her youngest child. "That's okay honey. Mommy could tell that you didn't have a fever."

"How?" His tiny voice was quiet and scratchy.

"Because I'm a doctor." She kissed his forehead and took his tiny hand again. "Come on. You can help me make breakfast."

"Okay."

The two of them took the stairs and headed into the kitchen where Alexandra picked Joseph up and plopped him down on the counter. "What do you want to eat? Eggs?"

"Scrambled eggs."

"Scrambled eggs," Alexandra confirmed with a smile. "I'm going to make you three today."

Joseph smiled smally and reached a hand up toward his ear that she tried her best to avoid in order to preserve his calm demeanor.

"Do you want ice cream right after?"

He chuckled now and nodded. "Before?"

Alexandra winked and smiled. "After the eggs. But don't tell anyone."

"I can sit up here?" Joseph removed his hand from the bandage and patted the countertop beside where he sat.

"Today you can." She made her way to the fridge and rounded up a few eggs before heading back toward the stovetop. "Just don't touch the stove."

"It's hot."

Alexandra couldn't keep herself from grinning. "That's right."

"And ice is cold."

"You're so smart." She tapped his nose and kissed his cheek. "I love you JoJo."

"I love you." His tiny voice again made her heart melt and she couldn't keep herself from hugging his tiny body against her for a moment before proceeding with making his breakfast.

Joseph counted out loud as she cracked the eggs into a bowl and then scrambled them with a fork before placing them into the pan on the stovetop.

"Good job honey." Alexandra gushed over his small accomplishment of counting to three and tossed the eggs around with a spatula for several minutes until they slid off the pan in a neat pile onto a plate she had waiting.

"Done." Joseph looked down at the foot and then back up at her with a grin, a set of dimples decorating each cheek.

"Done!" Alexandra scooped him up with one arm, keeping him firmly on her hip and carried the plate of eggs in the other hand. She set him down at the kitchen table and placed his breakfast in front of him.

"Thanks Mama."

She ran a hand over the top of his head and then kissed him. "I'll get you some orange juice." Alexandra made her way to the freshly squeezed juice that was in a pitcher in the fridge, pour him a small glass and then added it to the table in front of her son.

For a moment she stepped back and just watched him eat, taking in each second almost as if it could be the last. Alexandra had almost lost Negan several times, then almost losing Joseph on a second's notice brought all of those same feelings back and more. There was never a time more than in that moment that she wished that things were normal; that things were safe and sane and that the world was okay. She wanted Joseph to know a world without the type of violence that was still up close and personal too often. No world was perfect and things had gotten better but they were still far civilized.

"You ruined my plan to make you breakfast." Negan's voice almost made Alexandra jump but she smiled when he quickly slid his arm around her midsection and kissed her cheek.

"Beat you to it," she said quietly back, closing her eyes as he kissed her cheek several more times before landed a few more against her shoulder and making his way to the table to sit beside Joseph.

"Dad!"

"Hey bud."

Joseph glanced down at Negan's bandaged hand and then looked up to him, asking a handful of questions with his eyes.

"I'm a tough guy." Negan threw his hand like a soft punch and a grin prompting Joseph to smile back and mock his movements.

"Tough guy."

Negan laughed and messed up his hair. "Eat all your eggs."

"Mama's making me ice cream."

He looked to Alexandra and smiled wider as she chuckled and put a hand partially over her mouth.

"Joe you were supposed to keep that secret," she told him.

Joseph turned his head partially around with a smile. "Sorry," he whispered, making eye contact with Negan who winked at him. Joseph winked back and Negan laughed, making his way back to Alexandra.

"Sit down and I'll get you both some ice cream." He wrapped his arms around her as he passed by and kissed her cheek up to her ear.

Alexandra kept him against her for a moment, hugging him to her and gripping him lightly by the back of his neck. "Ice cream for breakfast?"

"Sometimes mamas need that shit too." Negan pulled back and kissed her once solidly on the lips, leaving his eyes open as he did before mouthing the words 'I love you'.

"I love you too," Alexandra whispered.

Negan gave her a wink, making her smile and then made his way to the freezer. "Seven a.m. ice cream coming up."


	33. Pikes

Life's ups and downs were always extreme in the recovery period of the apocalyptic world they were still surviving in. Surviving was the key word in that it went hand in hand with simply living. For every moment of calm there was a moment of chaos that seemed to trump it. JoJo's near death experience was one of those chaotic moments that was followed by a tender morning that left Alexandra feeling content again. Her batteries had only partially recharged when the next set of events struck the community.

A knock on the door in the late afternoon of the day to follow was the first indication that something was wrong. It wasn't a casual, quiet, polite knock. The knock was frantic, like one of the three little pigs running from the big bad wolf in search of shelter.

Negan was the first to rush to answer, adamantly instructing Alexandra and the kids to stay in the kitchen as he went to the door.

"We need you," Matt's voice came urgently as he and Negan came face to face, "You have to see this."

"What is it?"

"Come see for yourself."

Negan reached for his boots off to the side and grabbed a rifle he never had far away from where ever he went. After a short struggle with his broken hand to get the shoes on he finally shouted out to his wife. "Stay inside!"

"Come on," Matt urged with a wave but Negan stopped a step out the door.

"Do I need to get them to a safer fuckin' place?" he asked, "What the fuck is going on?"

Matt decided to cut to the chase, "There are heads out there."

"Heads?"

"On spikes."

Negan's eyes squinted as he processed the information and then stepped back inside through the open door. "Alex, Sarah..."

The two of them entered in to the living room. "What now?" Alexandra asked, her eyes filled with worry as she held Joseph in her arms while Lucy clung to her leg.

"Get yourselves armed and in the basement." He looked at Alexandra with apologetic eyes and shook his head, apologizing to her despite not having anything to do with the series of events, "I'm sorry honey."

"Can you squeeze the trigger with the cast on?" she asked, nodding to his hand.

"Yeah." Negan wanted to go up and kiss her goodbye but knew he had to go. "Get to the basement."

"Be careful." By now Alexandra had come terms with the fact that Negan would be called to protect their community, and at times that meant his life could be on the line. She hated it, but she dealt with it as best as possible and vowed not to get mad at him for things beyond his control.

Negan locked the door from the inside and slammed it shut as he went out, trailing after Matt who hurried toward the front gate.

Jack sat atop the watchtower as they approached and shook his head. "This is some fucked up, weird shit." He pointed down the street.

"You didn't see anybody?" Negan asked him.

"No." He raised the gates as Negan and Matt hurried out of the walls of the Manor to go investigate where a small group had gathered upon their ride back from collecting supplies.

George was among them looking the most uncomfortable and stepped back as Negan approached with Matt to where the first head was placed. In any other world it would have been heart-stopping; gut-wrenching; nightmarish. Now, the men gathered there studied the decapitated human heads, each with a wound that prevented them from turning into walkers following their deaths.

"These are fresh," Negan pointed out, "No decay... hair still in tact."

"They've all been stabbed or shot in the head," Vince added, standing five or ten yards away where another stake with a head was placed.

"What does this mean?" Matt asked aloud to no one in particular.

"Means someone's sending a fuckin' message," Negan informed him. He casually strolled around from head to head until he got to one that he recognized and stopped.

Matt followed him and Vince picked up on his sudden change of body language, "What is it?"

He cleared his throat and pointed at the female head that stared back at him with lifeless eyes. "This is, uh..." For some reason he couldn't look away and fumbled on his words, "This woman used to work for me. Arat. One of my top soldiers."

"At your old community?" George asked him.

"Yeah." Negan stared for another few seconds before deciding to move on, not recognizing any of the others that had perished. "This is methodical. There's a purpose behind all this shit."

"To scare us," Vince suspected.

"Or to warn us." He let his eyes dance around the circle of people who had all migrated down the death path together. "This is some fucked up shit, but whoever did this shit wants us to see them."

"I wonder if they're with the group there... the ones we've been looking for."

Negan drew a hand across his beard, "I'd think it to be a great coincidence if not." He shook his head and glanced back down at Arat's head and pointed, "She was a fuckin' warrior." Negan sighed.

"I'm sorry," George and Matt said at the same time.

He shrugged and stared around the immediate area, glancing through the trees to see if there was anyone lurking nearby.

"What do we do from here?" Vince asked. "I don't want my head on one of these pikes." He stared with a look of disgust.

"No one's heads are going on these fuckin' pikes," Negan assured them. "No one is going to fuckin' bully us around. It's not in my fuckin' nature." He felt no fear, just anger. "We'll fuckin' hunt these people down now." He looked at Matt, "Peace is out the fuckin' window."

"I'm with you," Vince stated.

George ran a hand nervously through his hair and looked around.

"George," Negan looked at him with sincerity in his eyes. "You okay?" He knew he owed the man his life and wasn't about to be a dick about the situation when he and Kismet gave up their private oasis on the mountain to bring him back home.

"This is just... I have a pregnant wife back at the Manor." He shook his head. "I was never against having children... but bringing them into this world just... I don't know if it's right."

"You don't have to pull a trigger, hold a knife or even leave the grounds if you don't want," Negan assured him. "You and Kismet are going to be fine."

George looked at the head on the stake again, doubt lingering in his terrified expression. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to her."

Negan looked to Vince. "Why don't you walk him back?"

Vince nodded and George didn't fight it. As the two of them walked back toward the gates Negan turned to Matt.

"This isn't going to end easy," he said quietly. "We have to come up with a plan to defend our place."

"You don't think this is just-"

"No." Negan cut him off. "My kid was almost fuckin' gunned down. They're cutting people's heads off." He motioned to one of the stakes. "I hate to fuckin' break it to you Matt but we have to round up some fuckin' troops and get them ready for a battle to save this place."


	34. Leader

**Going to loosely follow the comics in this next part... thanks as always for reading! :)**

* * *

When Negan entered through the front door of his home Alexandra emerged from the basement where she had been waiting with the kids.

When she rushed up to him she could tell from the look in his eyes that the problem wasn't something that was small or easy to get rid of.

Negan placed his hands lightly on her shoulders and felt hers latch onto his forearms.

"Mommy..." Lucy's voice came from the basement.

"Hold on sweetie." Alexandra heard Sarah begin to coax Lucy and she glanced back at Negan. His eyes danced back and forth as he read her expression.

"You've got to stay inside," he told her.

"What is it?"

"We may have ourselves a fuckin' problem."

Alexandra began to shake her head and Negan hugged her against him. "I'm going to try to run shit and get something going here. No one else will fuckin' be able to."

She sighed into his chest but nodded. "There's no one better."

"I don't want this."

"I know."

Negan pulled back and put his good hand on her face. "I love you Alexandra. Please stay inside." He kissed her once on the lips and towed her by the hand into the kitchen. "Keep the radios on. I'm not leaving the Manor yet but I need to be able to talk to you."

"Okay." Alexandra nodded as he checked one of the radios being charged and tested it against another to make sure they were on the same frequency.

"Tell the kids not to worry. You can come up here unless I say otherwise. There's the attic too."

"This is bad," Alexandra suspected with a nod.

"Preparing for the worst... hoping for the best."

"I don't like those words."

"I know." He took a deep breath. "Maybe have Kismet and George come by."

"Kismet..." Alexandra sighed. "The poor woman just wants a peaceful life with her husband and future child."

"They're going to get it," Negan vowed. "No one's going to fuckin' push us around." He saw her eyeing the floor with a melancholy expression and gently touched her face to look up at him. "Alright?"

Alexandra nodded. "Alright."

Negan pulled her into a long hug and then looked toward the open basement door, calling up the kids so he could talk to them.

Lucy's excited feet pounded up first and she leapt into her father's arms, making him chuckle despite the circumstances. He tapped his cheek. "Give your old man a kiss."

"Your not an old man," Lucy told him with a laugh but obliged and kissed him on the cheek.

Negan smiled. "Thanks baby." He turned to Alexandra who smiled and winked and then looked at Sarah who handed Joseph off to Alexandra.

Lucy kept an arm latched around Negan's shoulders. "Can we go see the farm animals?"

He let his smile fade and looked into his daughter's innocent eyes. "Not right now. Soon," he nodded.

"Later sweetie," Alexandra told her, holding back tears as Joseph snuggled into the nook of her neck.

"I have to stay?" Sarah asked.

Negan nodded. "I've been gypping you lately kiddo," he admitted. "Need some soldiers here too."

"Okay," she obliged.

"You're not even going to argue?"

"I know something serious when I see it." Sarah nodded. "Your judgments have never steered me wrong."

Negan could see she was being sincere and walked up to give her a hug, one which Lucy included herself in.

"You got this shit.," he told her.

"Bet your ass I do."

Negan walked up to Alexandra next and kissed her again before toying with Joseph's bare feet. He whipped his head around immediately with a big grin.

"Be good champ," he said to his son who just as quickly found comfort in Alexandra's shoulder again.

"Tell me if you decide to leave the grounds... please."

"I won't leave without coming back here unless I absolutely have to." He placed Lucy down on the floor and reached for the walkie talkie on the counter. "I'll keep in touch."

"Okay." Alexandra nodded.

Negan pointed to Sarah. "Can you round up Kismet and George? Send them down here."

"Will do." Sarah headed toward the door and Negan messed up Lucy's hair, kissed Alexandra once more and then headed out a few steps behind her.

"What shit is hitting the fan this time?" Sarah asked him as they went.

"Severed heads on sticks," he said nonchalantly.

"Fuckin' weird."

"You're telling me." Negan smirked at her. "Ya know... you're tougher than half these men."

"And to think you have me sitting at home." Sarah smiled back and rolled her eyes playfully.

"That's where I need you the most," he told her honestly. "If I can't be right there protecting our family it's got to be you. I mean that shit."

Sarah's smile grew wider. "That's a pretty decent complement."

Negan laughed and held out his fist as he was about to part ways with his teenage sidekick. "Get back to the nest safely."

"Always do." She gave him a fist bump and then headed to their respective destinations.

"Everyone's freaking out." Matt caught up with Negan right awayas he spotted him leaving his house.

"Jesus Matt." Negan shook his head in frustration. "They need some fucking reassurance that shit is going to be fine even if you're not sure it will be."

"What?"

"Tell your wife whatever the fuck you want, be honest." Negan put a hand on his shoulder. "To be an effective leader the group has to have fuckin' faith in your shit. They need to know that we have this under fucking control."

"Do we?"

"We're not letting anyone in here. These people need to be confident about that. If they see you geeking the fuck out like you just did with me their security is gone. People could leave, there could be anarchy..."

"So what do I do?"

"Go door to door or call a group meeting and you fucking convince them that shit is going to be fine... that we're going to do shit our way... that we run shit in this area not anyone else."

"Okay." Matt nodded.

"Can you handle that?"

"I think so."

Negan grabbed him harder and glared as he looked him in the eye. "Can you fuckin' handle that?"

Matt straightened up and grew more serious. "I can handle that."

Negan continued to stare at him with hardened eyes and then let a slow smile spread across his face. "Atta boy."


	35. Grace

"Round the clock surveillance," Matt said to a team of men and a few women that surrounded him, "All angles, not just the designated stations."

"How are we going to do that?" Casey asked, sporting heavily bruised face from his scuffle with Negan.

"We're going to put groups on foot on the exterior of the walls outside the perimeter."

"With all do respect," he said, "I don't want my head of a stake out there."

"Well then I suggest you obey your leader's damn orders," Negan spoke up, sitting amongst the group that Matt had gathered in an attempt to keep him as the face in charge of the Manor. "Because it's a damn good plan and if we don't surround the compound then our heads might be on sticks in here."

"They're right Casey," Vince agreed. "We all have to work together... be on high alert to defend this place."

"I'm going to be with you," Matt informed them. "Through the night and into the morning. We'll take turns and have a slightly lighter crew on during the day... but we'll still have some on the outside. At least during the day we have a clear vision of our surroundings." He glanced at the faces who were all focused on him, looking for him to lead as Negan had explained. "This is something that we aren't going to back down from. No one is going to hurt us like they did those people and they aren't going to take our land. This is ours and we've got to protect our people."

"Fuck yeah." Vince laughed and Casey finally smiled as he got on board from the enthusiasm.

"This is home," Casey added with a nod, "Maybe one day our grandkids will all be living here... only with more homes... no walls."

Negan nodded as more members of their group became colorful and animated, all rallied by Matt's words and anticipated actions. He smiled to himself, pleased to see Matt taking charge of the community he founded despite the fact that he was scared shitless.

"Who do you want working when?" Negan asked. "I'll volunteer for the overnight."

"Me too," said Vince, followed by Casey, Mikey, Jane and Missy among others.

Matt smiled at Negan, "Sun sets a little before nine... so I guess nine tonight starts the night shift until five in the morning." He pointed out to a number of others, "Pick up the morning shift?"

Everyone nodded, everyone was on board and the vibe was positive amongst the people of the community despite the danger that loomed yet again nearby.

Negan looked up at the sun that grew closer to the treetops at it sank toward the horizon and threatened to end the long hours of daylight. He made eye contact with Matt, who was still assigning jobs and the two exchanged a nod of respect.

"Negan," Matt motioned for the others to wait and grabbed a wooden bat he'd hat positioned again a picnic table next to where he conducted the meeting. "Your sidekick there, the girl... she wanted me to give you this."

He looked down as Matt handed him the bat and accepted it with a grin, "I'll fuckin' see you tonight."

...

When Negan returned home he waved to Joseph as he sat watching television on the couch next to Lucy, who was taking a late day nap. He heard Alexandra in the kitchen and carefully made his way in to see her.

The aroma of home made spaghetti sauce filled the house and steam rose from a pot of boiling water.

"Now, I'm going to need you to listen up," he said, smiling when Alexandra jumped from being startled by his voice, as she didn't expect him home so soon. Negan chuckled and saw her grin wide when she turned around with her hand on her chest. He held the bat out in front of him, pointing it in her direction.

"Listen up?" Alexandra still smiled at him.

"That's right." Negan matched her expression and used the bat to motion to the counter. "I'm going to need you to drop your pants and place your hands on the counter right there."

Alexandra let out a loud laugh. She proceeded to draw a hand across her mouth before setting them both on her hips.

Negan laughed lightly, looking down for a moment and then regaining her eye contact with his wife. "Insubordination will get you punished."

She enjoyed the game he was playing but also needed to know what was going on. "I thought there was an issue that you were going to help with."

He took one step toward her. "There is."

"Are you home for the night?"

"Just until nine. I'm on the overnight shift until five to watch over the place." Negan grinned and grew more playful and flirtatious again. He tapped the side of her leg with the bat and raised his eyebrows. "Hands on the counter honey."

Alexandra smiled and spun around, doing as he asked. She giggled when he put the bat down and placed his hands over hers and kissed her neck. "Everyone's home." She closed her eyes when he used the hand she had casted to unbutton her pants. He slid one hand down the inside of her shirt, engulfing her breast while he continuing to trail his lips down toward her collar bone. "George and Kismet are here."

"They can watch," he joked, making Alexandra laugh out loud again. She managed to free herself from his playful aggression and turned to face him, leaving a kiss firmly on his lips.

Alexandra put a hand gently on the side of his face. "You need a nice big dinner if you're going to be up all night."

"I'm not interested in dinner right now." Negan grinned and recaptured her lips with his own. "Where are Kismet and George?"

"Down in basement area just setting up some things... just in case."

"Setting up the tie-die blankets?"

She put her hand over his mouth and continued to look him in the eye. "Will you ever stop making fun of them?"

He laughed against her palm and slowly removed it. "You are fuckin' getting me going doing that shit."

Alexandra kissed him another time but then returned her attention to the spaghetti that boiled on the counter. "You're going to cause me to burn down this place."

Negan leaned over and looked at the two separate pans, one filled with noodles and the other with sauce. "I think I may have to take you up on the dinner offer. It's going to be a long night."

"Do you want to package some with you for the overnight?" She swiped her finger through the sauce and held it up to his mouth.

He swirled his tongue against the tip of her finger. "That's fuckin' good."

"I know."

Negan laughed and kissed her cheek, backing away from her to gather up plates. "How many dishes?"

"Seven now," Alexandra said to him, "Since you'll be joining us." She smiled.

"Still keep that radio on when I'm gone. I'll put it on a different channel so you don't hear our chatter." He lifted the seven plates from one of the cabinets and began to set the table. "That way you can sleep. If I need to tell you anything we'll have our own frequency and I'll switch over... like the old days at the Sanctuary." When she turned to him he added, "Remember."

"I remember." Alexandra smiled and nodded, thinking back for a moment before carrying the pot of spaghetti over toward the sink to drain the water. She sighed. "If shit hits the fan get yourself out of there."

"Yeah..."

She watched him move around the table and had the same heavy feeling in her heart that she'd had many times before - it was of worry; fear of the loss that one day he wouldn't be there to set the table, to hold her close and make her laugh. Alexandra had to consciously fight off her thoughts in order to stay relatively sane and cleared her throat to give a shout to the rest of the family. "Dinner's ready!"

"Lucy was asleep," Negan informed her, but held up a hand when she went to leave the kitchen, "I'll get her."

Joseph was the first to come running in, his short legs carrying him as fast as they could manage and he struggled with Alexandra's help to find his seat at the end of the table where she had managed to set up a makeshift booster seat. Sarah was next, and then Kismet and George. Negan and Lucy were the last two to head in with Lucy in a slightly grumpy, sleepy state. With only mild resistance she found herself a seat at the table in her father's lap as he agreed to share a bowl with her for dinner.

Alexandra had the urge to say her own version of Grace as she openly acknowledged how thankful she was for everyone at the time, and then some.

"I just want to... say thank you all for being wonderful people in my life." She kept it short and sweet, raising a glass of water. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Kismet and George said at the same time.

"Cheers," Sarah said, prompting Joseph to echo her.

Negan flashed Alexandra a wink and then twirled spaghetti on his fork and handed it to Lucy, who was in no mood to take part in the exchange of words. He whispered in her ear and despite her sour mood from being awoken from her nap she slunk down a little more onto his lap and looked at Alexandra. "Love you."

She smiled and sighed. "I love you too."


	36. Garlic

Nights one, two and three were silent and still beyond the walls of the Manor. No one from the community went out on scavenging runs and due to the eerie nature of the crimes committed by the faceless enemy clan that lurked out there close by somewhere, the entire little town was on edge, not to mention the near-death experience Joseph experienced inside the walls.

Each time Negan returned home in the early hours of the morning Alexandra asked the one-word question, "Anything?" to which he responded, "Not yet."

Negan knew the 'yet' part of his response left his wife feeling uneasy but he was more than certain that the threat was alive, real and just waiting to show its face again at the right moment. He assumed they had members lurking nearby possibly getting the shifts and routines down of the people in their community. For that, he had suggested switching things up a bit with regard to shift changes among other things, something which Matt adamantly agreed to.

"I miss sleeping next to you," Alexandra told Negan as he joined her in bed just after five in the morning after patrolling the area throughout the night.

"You get me for a couple hours," he told her with a light laugh as he closed his eyes and cuddled himself behind her with a tired sigh.

"Try an hour." She smiled, "Lucy's up at six-thirty, seven o'clock most mornings."

Negan kissed her shoulder. "I miss it to. I hate fuckin' sleeping in here by myself during the day."

"Lucy's starting to think you're a vampire," Alexandra joked with a laugh.

He chuckled, "Does even know what that is?"

"Sarah said it one day and then we gave her a PG version of what a vampire was."

"I owe her a bed time story before I take off tonight."

"Yes you do."

Negan felt his eyes drifting shut and he thought of the kids and their future. He was always ready for battle but he didn't want that anymore, mostly for Lucy and Joseph's sakes. Their family, the community and others like them were living proof that things were a lot better than they had been. They had animals, gardens, people who baked and were beginning to pass down new and improved recipes to Sarah's and Christopher's generations. They were truly rebuilding and Negan knew one big battle, a collection of bullets and fires and killing, could burn all they had build to the ground.

Empathy was something that had build up in his repertoire. Negan felt like he had a little of it prior to the apocalypse, and what little he had died along with Lucille. From there his emotional turmoil turned into a fuel that led to the creation of the Sanctuary. His feelings he'd pushed so deep down that he felt they had quite literally died - that he could no longer feel. Killing became easy, manipulating became even easier and the charm he'd been born with he used to his advantage the way he always had throughout his life. The concoction led to meaningless womanizing, bullying his way to the top of an empire and crushing the dreams of Rick Grimes and other like communities.

Negan had said it to Alexandra before, but breaking his leg was the best thing that happened to him post-apocalypse. It led her to him. It allowed him to feel things he hadn't felt in so long and despite his efforts to fight off the feelings they hadn't faded. Alexandra allowed him to feel something real again, and with it came his humanity. Despite her loyalty to him in all his decision-making he saw clearly now and knew of his past sins. It's what made him hate this new group, whoever they were, for trying to jeopardize the humanity that Alexandra had built up inside of him. It had taken years, and with the arrival of Sarah into their lives and then their two children the humanity shined through even more.

 _I have a lot to lose_ , it was the last thought that crossed Negan's mind as his eyes began to drift shut. He knew it was true. "A lot to lose," part of the sentence left his mouth and he mumbled to himself before his breaths evened out.

Alexandra looked over her shoulder at him and realized he must have been talking in his sleep. She smiled and placed a hand over his around her waist before attempting to go back to sleep.

* * *

"Dad..." Pause, "Dad..."

Negan awoke to a pair of tiny hands shaking him and he snickered once reality kicked in and he realized the deep sleep he'd been in was interrupted. "Lucy. What time is it honey?"

She shrugged and plopped down beside him. "I don't know."

He pulled her forehead toward him and left a single kiss there before closing his eyes again. "Where's your mom?"

"Outside. She took us to the farm."

"JoJo too?"

"Yeah." Lucy held out her hand toward his face.

Negan sensed there was something close to him and re-opened his eyes. "What's this?" He squinted and reached for the tiny white object in Lucy's hand, smiling when he saw relief in her eyes.

"Eat it. It's garlic."

He laughed a little louder and twirled it in his hand. "Garlic?"

"The farmer man gave it to me."

"He did?"

"Yeah." Lucy waited with wide eyes and Negan laughed again.

"If Mom slices this up and cooks with it, I'll eat it."

Lucy shook her head, "No, Sarah said you need to eat it."

"Does this have something to do her vampire story?"

She raised her eyebrows and he pulled her to him.

"Look," Negan peeled a small piece off to appease her and broke it off. "Normally you're not supposed to eat garlic but..." He slipped the piece into his mouth, wanting to laugh again from the way Lucy studied him but he finished the bite and tossed the remainder of the clove in his hand. "See... not a vampire."

"Can I have a piece?" Lucy asked with a smile, reaching for it.

He made a face from the lingering taste and shook his head. "It doesn't taste good."

"Why do people like to eat it then?"

"Mom might cook with it," Negan attempted to explain and then waved his hand. "She'll teach you one day."

"One day when?"

He smiled wide. "You have so many questions today."

The front door opened and Sarah immediately ran up the stairs. "So... is he a vampire or not Lucy?"

Negan shook his head and pointed a finger in her direction. "Stop fuckin' telling her stories."

"Dad..." Lucy gave him another look.

"I'm sorry baby. I curse around you too much." He kissed her forehead again and then laid back down, prompting Lucy to remove the clove of garlic from his hand.

"He ate it," Lucy claimed, holding it out in front of her.

"Guess he's not a creature of the night," Sarah said, "How'd that taste?"

Negan subtly gave her the finger, making Sarah laugh and bounce away to the next door to her room. "Hey what time is it?"

"Noonish," she shouted back.

"Can you get up Dad?" Lucy asked softly, making Negan nod almost immediately.

"Sure." He sighed, "Come on. Help me up." Negan held out a hand and Lucy used both of hers to pull him. "You are getting strong kid!" he gushed.

Lucy smiled and laughed before beginning to tow him out of the room and down the stairs where they greeted Alexandra and Joseph as they entered.

"Oh honey... I told you to let Daddy sleep." Alexandra shook her head but ran her hand through Lucy's hair.

"It's alright." Negan leaned in and kissed her.

"She gave you the garlic huh?" Alexandra asked with a laugh, "I can taste it."

"Mmm... sexy right?"

"Very." She smiled. "So... nothing again then last night."

Negan shook his head and followed to the couch where Lucy hopped on and began patting the seat next to her. When he sat down she readjusted onto his lap and Alexandra sat on the couch opposite them with Joseph, who was already reaching for a toy car in front of them on the ground.

"Nope." He looked at her.

"But you think something will... eventually."

Negan looked her in the eye and hesitated. "I think there is a group nearby."

Alexandra swallowed hard and did as she always did, making it appear as if the news didn't bother her as much as it did. "Okay."

"Let's enjoy today," Negan offered. "It's a sunny day... you all went to the farm... Daddy's awake a few hours earlier." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Maybe we can teach Joseph how to... swing a bat." He made a motion with his hands and a popping sound with his tongue.

"And me," Lucy copied his movements and attempted to click her tongue the way he had.

"Of course you," Negan picked her up swiftly and tossed her in the air, making her giggle uncontrollably.

"Can you do it again?"

"Again?" Before she could respond with a 'yes' he tossed her into the air and made her laugh even harder.

Alexandra laughed with them, "Please be careful."

Negan caught Lucy for the last time and then glanced over his shoulder out the big picture window. "Want to go learn how to play some baseball?"

Lucy made the sound with her tongue again. "Yeah."

"Come on." He hoisted her into his arms and nodded at Alexandra. "Coming?"

She smiled at him and nodded back. "Yeah."

Negan held out a hand and Alexandra smiled as she took it, guiding Joseph along with them.

Despite the calm Alexandra knew there was danger lurking close by... too close. She just prayed it would be something that Negan and the others could put an end to on their own.


	37. Alpha Beta

Little Red Riding Hood. The Big Bad Wolf. Negan had the remnants of the bed time story he'd ready to Lucy in his mind as he stood watch alone outside the walls of the Manor.

He looked to his left and right. Some fifty yards away on either side of him were two others defending the community as he was. Night after night they stood awake waiting for the enemy to appear like a ghost from a fog. On night four after finding the heads impaled on sticks there was nothing.

Negan reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and removed a cigarette, leaning back against the wall. It was the one and only perk to being out alone at nearly two in the morning. There was no one there to give him a lecture about his smoking habit - something he only dabbled in from time to time when he was bored, stressed and occasionally after an above-and-beyond sex session with Alexandra. She never gave him a hard time about it. It was Sarah who hated to see him smoke.

 _Probably health class in school,_ he suspected.

Aside from the one vice, he wished he wasn't alone; particularly at the late hour. He wished after the bed time story to his kids he could sit and watch a ball game with Alexandra reading a good book beside him. On a good night she'd lean over and run her hand down his inner thigh and kiss him once with meaning.

He lit the cigarette and took in a long drag before blowing it out as he let his mind proceed with the daydream. Negan sighed, wishing he was at home with his family cuddled up beside Alexandra in bed and sleeping soundly beneath the covers.

For a moment he imagined what she looked like at that moment - possibly laying partially beneath the thing gray sheet on the bed with her feet sticking out at the end because of the warm air. She couldn't sleep without a cover on, even in the hottest of temperatures.

Negan smiled to himself and took another drag from the cigarette. He loved the little things that lingered between the two of them; things only he knew about Alexandra, and things only she knew about him.

"Negan!" Vince's voice shouted a whisper in his direction and Negan turned to his right.

"What you got Vince?" He began to walk slowly in his direction, raising his weapon as he flicked the barely-smoked cigarette to the side.

"Something in woods," Vince whispered again, "This way." He nodded with his head and met Negan halfway between their posts.

"Walker?" Negan leaned an ear and listened, thinking he heard growls but they stopped so abruptly that he couldn't be sure. He glanced at Vince and then waved a hand as the two of them crept slowly toward the woods line.

"Someone's definitely there," Vince said with a confident nod. His hand tightened on the trigger of the rifle perched in his arms and he attempted to control his breathing.

"Chances are they fuckin' know we're here," Negan said quietly. "If it's fuckin' people we're dealing with."

The faint sound of leaves crunch could barely be heard even in the silent nature of the midnight hour, but Vince had picked up on it and Negan sensed it now. He crouched lower as he walked out of instinct an kept his gun raised as the two of them crossed through the barrier of trees.

"I can't see shit," Vince informed him.

Negan didn't respond. He scanned the area methodically, going from left to right and back again.

Nothing. There was no one. Not a sound. Not a movement.

He swallowed hard and looked at Vince, who's uneasy expression made him want to give him a smack in the back of his head to give him a shot of angry adrenaline.

"Stop right there." A female voice interrupted the eerie silence causing both men to halt. Negan kept his gun raised and whipped his head around in all directions contemplating whether or not to respond.

"You with the gun," the voice spoke again, "Lower it."

"Fuck you," Negan replied. His eyes widened and fingers tightened around the weapon when what appeared to be a walker emerge from behind a tree. "What the fu-"

"Stop." The voice was coming from the undead. "We have the means to kill you on the spot."

"What the fuck are you?" he couldn't help but ask when more began to emerge from behind their respective trees, and then others in rows behind them in the distance. Negan's eyes scanned the forming mob of walker-looking people, all who moved far to human-like to be undead. "What the fuck..."

"Drop your weapon to your side sir," the woman repeated calmly, "Or I'll add you to our collection."

"What collection?" Vince choked out.

"I suppose you saw the heads of our enemies... and you'll become just that if you don't oblige."

Negan looked the woman up and down, disgust plaguing his features but he let his arms hang down as their numbers grew before them. "You are fuckin' creepy as shit doll."

"Name's not doll," she replied behind a mask the appeared as if it was made of walker skin, "It's Alpha."

"Alpha male."

"Alpha _fe_ male," she emphasized. "I don't want to hurt you... but you did kill our family."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Negan asked.

"The undead. You set them ablaze in the massive fire... did you not?"

"How the fuck is that family?"

"They were our means of survival," Alpha claimed, "Our mob. You killed them. Now we're left homeless."

"I don't understand," Vince claimed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"We lived among them; controlled them. These suits masked us to them and they were our protection. We set up camps and roam the area." Alpha turned back to Negan sensing he was more in control, "You ruined that for us and for that we have a severe bone to pick."

Negan's eyes scanned the crowed when he heard a collection of whisperers. His eyes widened a bit when a figured that towered even over him stepped in beside Alpha.

"This is Beta," she claimed, "My number one. We live on the front line, so to speak, and people have followed us in this lifestyle."

"What the fuck does this have to do with us?" Negan asked, eying the tall man in the skin suit.

"You poked the bear by starting the fire," she said calmly, "Now, it's either time to talk and set things right... or die."


	38. We Are Everywhere

Negan lowered his weapon and looked around, noting if the people before him wanted them dead they could have done it.

"The creepy fuckin' heads..." Negan nodded at Alpha.

"That was us," she confirmed nonchalantly. "You're referring to the ones on pikes. It's simply to claim our territory, nothing personal."

A slow smile spread across his face. "You are fuckin' out there sweetheart."

Beta stepped forward and Negan eyed the tall man up and down.

"I'm not your sweet heart," Alpha told him.

"Just a term of endearment, don't fuckin' read into it." He motioned to Beta. "I wouldn't fuck you with his dick."

Beta lunges forward and grabbed Negan by the neck, prompting Vince to scream out and raise his weapon.

Other members of the Manor keeping watch nearby rushed from the commotion in time to see Beta slam Negan into the wall with his forearm in his throat to hold him in place.

Negan laughed for a moment but almost immediately felt his windpipe being closed.

"You have a big mouth," Alpha strolled up casually despite the number of new men with guns arriving to Negan's aid.

Negan put a hand up in the midst of the scuffle to signal to his men to hold their fire.

"They're all around!" Vince shouted. "Dressed as the undead."

Everyone looked around in confusion and Negan tried to speak but couldn't get a word out.

"Let him go!" Matt demanded.

"Beta..." Alpha reached a hand up, pushing onto her toes to reach his shoulder. "Release him a moment."

Beta removed his arm from Negan's throat, leaving him gasping for air as he hunched over and took in a few deep breaths.

"Who's in charge here?" Alpha asked.

Negan looked up with his hands on his knees and a big smile. He didn't immediately answer but glanced up at Beta again. "You are fucking tall as shit."

"I'll release him and let him finish the job he started before putting your head on the next pike," Alpha informed Negan, finally switching her expression from a calm, collected state to an icy glare.

"I'm sorry honey, I was just delusional a bit." Negan glanced over at Matt, who formally stepped forward.

"I founded this community," he informed Alpha.

"Leader. Check." She nodded. "Step one is complete." Alpha eyed Negan again for a moment. "You're just the muscle I presume."

"Whatever you want to call it." Negan put his hands out to the sides, not about to get into formalities.

Alpha looked back at Matt. "I'm Alpha."

"Matt."

"Well your people killed our people Matt."

"What people?"

"The fuckin' walkers," Negan blurred out.

"The undead?" Matt asked. "But they aren't-"

"We live among them in these skin suits. They're our camouflage and our means for survival. When you killed them you took away our home."

"What home? They roam."

Alpha nodded matter-of-factory. "As do we. Now we have nothing... aside from a small collection we've managed to gather and control."

"They don't sense you're human?"

"The dead skin disguises us."

"Pretty fuckin' gross," Negan added. "But smart as shit, I'll give it to you."

"You owe us," Alpha told them.

"There are plenty of houses-" Matt began but she stopped him with a hand up.

"We don't live that way. Things are primal now."

"They don't have to be."

"They are," Alpha told him. "Your community isn't real. Its a facade... lipstick on the metaphorical pig if you will. You can dress it up all you want, your little corner of the world, but the world is still dead."

"Well we've experienced new life," Matt challenged. "We're coming back. New crops, baby chickens to lay eggs, children are being born."

"All into a dead world." Alpha shook her head. "It's all a big land of make believe Matt... and we won't have any part of it."

"What is it you want Alpha?" Negan asked her.

"I want a new tribe of undead."

"Go find some."

"Your fire destroyed many of them in the area... they're scarce."

"Guess the world isn't so fucking dead then is it?" Negan pointed out. "See in this area humans populate the land, not the walkers."

"And it's been quite a mess for my people because of that."

"Live with us," Matt said again. "We've begun to clean up the houses nearby. We want to expand-"

"We don't live that way," Alpha informed him more forcefully. "Humanity is gone... and we haven't survived by pretending it still exists."

"Well we have survived living this way," Matt trumped her. "And it can be that for you too."

Alpha hesitated before responding. "No... I'm sorry it can't."

"Cut to the fuckin' chase lady," Negan told her.

Alpha turned and raised a gun that stood even to his face. "Throw one more term of endearment, as you call it, in my direction and I'll blow that handsome face of your right off."

"Handsome?" He grinned wider, not backing down. "Nice!" Negan slowly put up his hands. "Let me rephrase my previous demand in the form of a question. "What is it we can do for you if you don't want our form of shelter?"

"That tone is much much better," Alpha said with a nod. "We need the undead. We have no vehicles. We need you to draw some back in this direction."

"Why the hell should we?" Vince chimed in. "We have people."

Alpha turned her head slowly in his direction. "We are everywhere." Her voice floated on like feathers, eerily drifting at Vince

Negan chuckled making Alpha approach, reaching out to grab him again but he gently caught her arm before she could. He winked, making her glare harder before Beta stepped in another time.

"Fuck." Negan let the word out before his back was slammed into the wall again with a sickening thud.

"Do you want me to Alpha?"

"No." She hardened her jaw. "Whatever you think you have... it isn't shit." Alpha heaved the butt of her rifle into Negan's groin while Beta still held him firmly by the neck.

Negan's eyes closed. "Fuck lady," he choked out.

"We own two other communities and we aren't going to back down to you." Alpha waited for him to reopen his eyes. "We need walkers or whatever it is you people call them. You'll get them for us or we'll come back... again and again and again. Right now we have enough people in these woods to destroy your little fantasy world that exists behind these walls."

Negan swallowed hard, his Adam's apple barely able to move under Beta's firm fist against his throat.

Alpha turned to Matt. "You may get some of us... me even... but believe me when I tell you that your walls will burn to the ground and you will lose so much more than we will if you don't help us." She shook her head and turned back to Negan, pushing her gun more firmly against him. "We know more about all of you than you know. Call our bluff... and your son's ear won't be the last thing you lose."


	39. Pins and Needles

Negan felt a burning rise up in his chest and clenched his jaw despite the pain that that traveling the length of his body. He wanted to kill them both for the comment but couldn't move from the way Alpha and Beta had him positioned. Logically, he knew it would be a bad move to try challenging the two of them and if they were serious in their claims about their little army of freaks in skin suits then they wouldn't get very far.

"Alpha," Negan spoke diligently, "We've all done shitty fucking things to survive-"

"But you haven't taken a shot at a toddler," Alpha finished the thought she was assuming he was getting to, "It wasn't aimed at the boy. The bullet was a stray."

Negan's eyes burned into hers and Alpha showed no remorse for her words or actions. He didn't speak; he couldn't because he knew the things he wanted to say and do would get him killed.

"You have twenty-four hours," she went on. "Meet us back here at this time tomorrow night. We'll search until sunrise and beyond if we need to."

"And if we don't?" Vince asked, prompting another man with a skin suit to whisk in, holding a weapon to the back of his head.

Alpha turned to him with a confident stare, removing her gun from where she held it against Negan. "Roll the dice and see what happens."

Negan looked at the man behind Vince and noted the crossbow in his hands. He thought for a moment, noting only two people he'd known since the start of it all had yielded that particular weapon - and it happened to be the same one they'd stole back and forth from one another.

 _Dwight and Daryl._ He briefly relived the night he killed Dwight but was cut off immediately by the present.

"Twenty-four hours," Alpha said again. She looked around the men, "Matt. Are we clear?"

Matt glanced at Negan, who was still pinned by Beta. Negan nodded as subtly as possible and then Matt gave the okay to Alpha.

"Good decision," she claimed and then looked back to Negan, "For a man who isn't in charge you sure do throw your weight around." Alpha tapped Beta on his big, broad shoulder, "Let's go."

Beta removed a massive hand from Negan's throat and then spun around. At the same time Alpha whistled and waved to the crossbow-wielder and wandered back toward the tree-line a few yards away.

"Twenty-four hours," she called out for the third time, "Have your vehicles ready."

Vince hurried up to Negan as the mysterious group began to wander back into the darkness, blending in with the trees before disappearing all-together.

"We should hunt them down," he said, "Open fire."

Matt and the others gathered beside the two men.

"Are you alright?" he asked Negan.

"I'm fucking fine." He took a deep breath and shook his head angrily.

"That was a cheap shot about Joseph."

Negan felt the wave of anger pass through him again that he tried to suppress. "Saying shit like that will get someone killed." He let out another breath through his nose, 'That crazy fuckin' broad better not be fucking bluffing, because if she is I'll make an exception to not killing women policy and make an example out of her to her people."

"Do you think they're bluffing?" Matt asked.

"They'd be fuckin' stupid to make demands like that without the numbers." Negan's eyes scanned the woods as he spoke, "That crossbow belonged to a man in Rick's group."

"You think they're involved?" Vince chimed in.

"No." He shook his head, "They said they've controlled several groups. If that bow belongs to Daryl like I think it does then I'd say we have something in common with my old enemies."

Matt shrugged. "Couldn't the guy just have another crossbow?"

"Sure," Negan looked over at him, "But since the start of this thing I've only seen two people with one... and it was the same one. One of my old guy's took it from Daryl, Rick's guy. Then Daryl fuckin' took it back."

"Was it that one?"

"No fucking idea," he admitted, "But if it was, and this Hannibal fuckin' Lector crew really has what they claim to have well..." Negan scrunched his nose at the thought of working together with Rick Grimes.

"You mean... join forces?" Matt asked, "With _them_."

Negan scratched his forehead and looked around. "This fucking world can't just let us fucking live."

"We're living."

He glanced over at him and shook his head. "We're surviving." Negan pushed past Matt and headed toward the main entrance.

"Negan, do you think they'll be back?" Vince shouted.

"In twenty-four-fucking hours," he said without looking back.

"Where are you going?" Matt asked.

"Home."

...

Alexandra sat at the kitchen table in the dark with a glass of water between her hands that she'd been sipping on for several minutes. The house was quiet and the kids were asleep. After waking up several times she finally give into the universe and climbed out of bed.

The stillness of the night was peaceful, yet it gave her ample time to worry about Negan - that is until her wish was granted and he walked in through the front door.

"Negan?" Alexandra rose to her feet, pushing in the chair where she sat with her foot and let out a deep breath when she saw him.

"What are you doing up?"

"I've woken up three times," she explained, "I finally came down here to get a drink of water." Alexandra looked him up and down, "I'm glad you're home but-"

"We met them."

"Met who?"

Negan wandered toward the couch and sat down in the darkness. "The heads on sticks group."

"You met them... what happened?" Alexandra cross the room and stood in front of him, raising her eyebrows in anticipating.

"They wear walker skin," he began.

She pressed her eyebrows together, barely able to read his expression in the dark. "What?"

"Fucking weirdest shit I've ever seen," Negan went on, "They live amongst the dead. The skin acts like a camouflage and they aren't detected. The herd we killed with that big fire, that was the 'home' we were looking for in the woods. There were no structures or houses. They lived and traveled with the herds of walkers."

"This doesn't make sense."

"Nope." He leaned forward so his elbows were on his knees and he put his hands over his face.

"Are they... a threat?"

"Yup."

Alexandra looked down at him and could see how stressed he was - rightfully so. "What did they say?" she asked, and then more specifically, "What are they going to do?"

Negan let his hands slowly slide down his face and then he folded them beneath his chin. He paused a moment and then looked at her directly. "They want us to find them more walkers."

She waited a moment and then respond. "Is that all?"

He sighed and leaned back again, speaking in a quiet, defeated manner. "Damned if I know."

Alexandra softened her eyes and sat down beside him. She brushed back his hair with one hand and kissed him on the cheek.

"I don't know what they have for people," Negan went on, "But I think they've got Rick's group under their thumb somehow too."

She stopped for a moment and pulled back, prompting Negan to turn and face her. "Why do you think that?"

"They claimed to be in control of other communities," he explained, "And it looked like some of their weapons were from the Alexandria Safe Zone."

"How could you tell?"

"I'm not one-hundred perfect sure... but the crossbow one of the men had belonged to Daryl... I think." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, "I'm just trying to connect the fuckin' dots." Negan rubbed his eyes, "I don't know shit."

"You do know shit," Alexandra whispered. She stroked his hair again.

"I don't know shit... not about these people. They could've been bluffing for all I know."

"Do you think they were?"

He sighed and then shook his head. "No." Negan reopened his eyes, "They killed all those people... put their heads on those fuckin' spikes. Arat... she was one tough bitch, boy, let me tell you and they got her. We could use someone like her."

"When do they expect you to find the walkers?"

"Tomorrow night," he informed her, "This time. They're going to come back. Matt agreed. I just hope that this can be settled that simply... but with the way shit works nowadays it doesn't fuckin' appear that way."

"What if it is that simple?"

"Then I'd be willing to be we see Jesus doing summer-salts down the road this coming Sunday."

Alexandra managed a small smile, letting out a light chuckle. "Where do you come up with these things?"

"It's a useless part of my brain I guess, honey."

"Well that useless part of your brain makes me laugh."

Negan draped his arm across the back of the couch where she sat. "There's a woman in charge. Name's Alpha. Has a big, body-guard type to protect her they call Beta."

"Original."

"Yeah..." He sighed, "Big motherfucker. Yoked me up against the wall."

"He's bigger than you?"

"By a foot it feels like and probably fifty pounds."

"Sure it's not The Rock behind the... skin mask." Alexandra made a face.

"Would you leave me for him if it was?" Negan managed a smile but let it fade.

She smiled back. "No."

"Mmm..." He ran a hand down his face again. "Maybe if we get them what they want they'll leave us the fuck alone. If not then..." Negan shook his head.

"I don't like the sound of that."

"Twenty-four hours," he replayed Alpha's words in his mind.

"Are we safe?" Alexandra asked him. "Right now? Are there people still out there watching?"

"Well... we know who they are now. Despite how fucking weird shit is there's a face to go along with the creepy fucking heads out there." Negan shook his head, "She was adamant about the twenty-four hours. They didn't want food or shelter... just the walkers."

"Well that's better than wanting food and shelter, I suppose." She shrugged.

"We'll see tomorrow." Negan removed his wrapped hand from the back of the couch and placed it on the side of her face. "They claim what we're doing here is a fuckin' fake, fantasy world."

"What do you mean?"

"These people. They think trying to rebuild like this is only a cover-up for what the world actually fucking is."

Alexandra looked into his eyes. "Do you agree?"

Negan shook his head, glancing at his bandaged hand and then back to her eyes before pulling her onto his lap. "No." He smiled, "Every time you bandage me up after an injury I'm reminded of that."

"Is that why you go around punching people in the face?" she teased, bringing her lips to his.

Negan kissed her back and the urged her back for another, longer kiss. "Yes," he joked back.

"Every day used to be like this," Alexandra told him.

"What do you mean?"

"At the Sanctuary. You were always going out and fighting and defending the community there." She sighed, "It's more of a burden now because we've been living peacefully, on and off. I used to go to bed anxious every night you were out a little later than you thought you would be, or if you didn't come home at all that night. Now, we have a potential conflict with a group and it's like I'm walking on pins and needles."

"Things are different now," Negan agreed with a nod. He looked around the dark room and sighed again. "Want to not think about it for a little while?"

Alexandra closed her eyes and nodded before reaching for the hand she had bandaged. She brought her lips to where his knuckles were exposed several times in a row and Negan gently rand his free hand up her back letting his finger trace soothing lines against her skin. When Alexandra sighed heavily he kissed her and settled her more directly on top of him so they were face to face.

"I just fucking wish we could disappear sometimes," Negan told her, "You and me and Sarah and the kids." He locked his hands on her hips, "Just get the fuck out of here."

Alexandra brushed his hair back again and then took his face in both of her hands. "So do I."

Negan nuzzled his face against the nook of her neck, kissing her gently there several times before bringing his cheek against hers. "I fucking love you," he whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Negan."

He pulled back touching his nose to hers a minute before Alexandra kissed him more heatedly.

Negan kicked off his boots and Alexandra began to undo his belt buckle, never breaking their embrace until there was a creak from the floor upstairs.

Alexandra pulled back and turned head in time to see Sarah slide down the banister, barely making a sound as she landed gracefully on her feet on the first floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Negan called out, causing Sarah to scream and jump back holding her chest.

"Holy shit!" Sarah bent down and put her hands on her knees, "You scared the shit out of me. What the fuck are you doing? I thought you were on watch?"

Alexandra rose to her feet and Sarah squinted.

"Alex?"

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm... uh..."

"You were asked a fuckin' question," Negan said, putting his hands out to the sides. "Kids still fuckin' slide down banisters?"

"It's less noise than the stairs," Sarah admitted. She looked at the two of them, "What are you doing?"

"Sarah..." Alexandra walked through the living room, "You can't just sneak out. You have no idea what's going on out there."

"I wasn't sneaking..." She looked up at her with a guilty expression, not having it in her to lie. "Fine... I was sneaking out."

"Eric?"

Sarah slowly nodded. "We sometimes..." She stopped and then went on, "We sneak out to the barn to sleep in the loft."

"What?" Alexandra raised her eyebrows.

"Not like... we don't do anything bad. I like... sleeping next to him."

"You're fucking twelve," Negan shouted.

"I've fifteen Negan, almost sixteen," Sarah shot back, "Jesus. And we're not having sex."

"Don't... say that word." He shook his head.

Alexandra took in a deep breath and then looked back at Sarah. "You and I need to talk."

"I know everything already."

"I just mean in general," she told her calmly. Alexandra scratched her head. "I know I'm not your mom... but we care about you. Things are dangerous enough out there."

"You know shit is going on," Negan raised his voice from the couch, "And you're still fucking around, sneaking out. Doing shit you shouldn't be doing."

"Negan..." Alexandra looked over her shoulder and shook her head.

"Look, I'm just trying to be fucking normal!" Sarah yelled back to him.

"Oh this is normal?" he challenged her back. "Sliding down the banister at fucking one in the morning?"

She was tempted to shout at him and tell him that he wasn't her father but she couldn't - not even in the peak of her annoyed anger. "You two have each other!" Sarah called out, "I like Eric. He's my normal. He puts his arms around me and he kisses... sometimes. It's not stuff I shouldn't be doing. I haven't done anything wrong. It's one thing that feels good to me that doesn't involve shooting guns and kicking ass when I need to. I like him."

"Come here." Alexandra hugged her, sensing she was about to cry from frustration. "I know you don't get the chance to sit back and just be a teenage girl."

"I don't drink... or smoke. I sneak out here and there to see the only boy that I might actually have a real future with."

"There is a group out there putting heads on sticks," Negan reminded her. "Or did you fucking forget that?"

"Well I felt pretty confident going to the barn, _inside_ the walls with you keeping watch," Sarah said. She pulled back from Alexandra and dried her eyes. "Why the hell are you even home?"

"Because we met with them tonight," Negan explained, "And I had a gun pointed in my face. How's that?"

Sarah looked at Alexandra and then back to Negan. "What?"

"Yeah hotshot," he went on but Alexandra silence him again.

"Negan stop," she scolded him. "Give her a break."

"She could've died."

Sarah made a face, "I'm not going to die."

"You want a future with that kid?" Negan asked, "If you keep thinking like a stupid teenager you won't fuckin' have a future."

"I _am_ a stupid teenager."

"No." He shook his head. "You're way more than that kid."

"No... I'm not." Sarah shook her head, "And honestly that's all I want to be."

"So you don't want to come with us tomorrow night then?" Negan asked.

"Come where?"

"On the mission with these people? I had you fuckin' penciled in to ride shotgun with me."

Sarah hesitated, squinting to try reading his expression but she couldn't in the dark. She then looked back to Alexandra and again to Negan. "Are you fucking with me?"

"No."

"No?"

"No," he repeated, "Fuck. Did I slur my words?"

"Why are you being such a dick to me tonight?"

"Because you were caught doing something you weren't supposed to," Negan told her, "And yeah I'm not your father, but for all purposes here I am. So you're going to fucking listen to me. You got that shit?"

Sarah let out a frustrated sigh and then looked down. "Whatever. Fine."

"Good enough," he said.

"Eric's waiting," she said meekly, looking at Alexandra this time.

"Well..." Alexandra looked at Negan again, "I think maybe you should-"

"I'm not going to meet the kid," he cut her off.

"No," Sarah backed him, "Please."

"You need to go back upstairs and go to bed," Alexandra said to her, and then faced Negan again, "And you need to go tell Eric to go home and do the same."

Negan let out a frustrated sigh of his own and outstretched his arms on the back of the couch. For a moment he just sat there and then slipped his feet back in his boots on the ground.

"This sucks," he mumbled at the same time that Sarah said it aloud. For the first time since being busted she cracked a smile.

"Jinx. You owe me a Coke," she told him.

Negan laced up his boots. "You owe me some fucking alone time with Alexandra."

Sarah scrunched her nose and made a face. "Yuck."

"Yeah... go upstairs." He motioned with his finger and Sarah stopped trying to disobey. She glanced at Alexandra one more time before hurrying up the stairs and shutting the door quietly behind her.

"I'll fucking board up your windows if you're not fuckin' careful!" Negan shouted.

Alexandra shushed him, holding up a finger to her lips. "Lucy and Joe are sleeping."

Negan sighed and shook his head. "Are you really sending me after the fucking kid?"

"He shouldn't be out there alone either," she told him, "And he can't handle himself nearly as much as Sarah can."

"He's fucking fine."

"Negan... please."

He sighed for what felt like the fiftieth time. "Fine."

"Thank you." Alexandra approached him. "I'm sorry. You have a lot on your plate. I know-"

"It's fine." Negan reached up and touched the side of her face. He smiled and shook his head. "In all of my years you are one of two people who's had the ability to do this to me."

"Do what?"

"To tell me what to fuckin' do."

"I don't think I abuse my privileges," Alexandra told him.

"No," he agreed, "But it takes some getting used to."

She looked down and rebuttoned his pants. "I'll wait up for you."

Negan looked her up and down. "You were supposed to help me forget everything for awhile."

"I won't break my promise." Alexandra smiled him, looked over her shoulder a minute and then took off her shirt, leaving Negan with his eyebrows raised, a crooked smirk and a look of amusement that made her chuckle. She hooked the shirt around the back of his neck and then pulled her toward him, planting a closed-mouth kiss on his lips before swiftly pulling the shirt back on as quickly as she had taken it off.

"Wow." Negan smirked and chuckled, making her laugh lightly with him. He pointed at her and pulled the door open with his other hand. "You're a fuckin' tease."

"Hurry back." Alexandra folded her arms across her chest.

"Yeah..." He raised his eyebrows again. "Tomorrow may be a long night... so let's make tonight a good one."

"Bittersweet... that's our lives right?"

"Fuckin' sums it up." Negan ran a hand through his hair. "Lock the door just in case. I'll knock."

"Okay."

He leaned in and Alexandra met him halfway to kiss him again. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	40. Old Friend

Alpha's gun was raised when she encountered Negan and the others again. Like before she had her backup in the massive man Beta who never stood more than a few feet from her.

"I need undead... by the masses," she claimed again, prompting Negan to hit her with another snide remark that left her scowling and Beta ready to practically pounce on him.

"Yeah we fucking got that," Negan said to her.

"I'll ride with him." Alpha nodded her head in Negan's direction. "Beta... ride with Matt.'

"Jesus..." Negan shook his head and then scowled as Alpha nudged him with the butt of her rifle.

"Let's go," she ordered.

"This is the most pointless shit-"

"I don't give fuck!" Alpha stepped in front of him, this time shoving the barrel of her gun into his chest. She glared, staring him directly in the eye. "You seem like a man who has quite the issue taking orders. If you can't keep your mouth shut-"

Negan shoved the gun away from him with a quick swipe of the back of his hand and roughly pushed by her and headed for the car.

Alpha stood still for a moment, displeased by his insubordination. She slowly turned to look over her shoulder and watched as Negan hopped into the car that was intended for the two of them. When the passenger door slammed she took her time getting to the driver's side before sliding in beside him.

"Want me to hold your gun?" Negan asked casually.

Alpha didn't respond immediately, but when Negan went to make another remark she raised her voice. "I've put up with your _shit_ for too long already!"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, what are you on woman?"

"Woman?" She hit him with the barrel of her gun again. "Did you say woman?" Negan turned to her, glaring this time but Alpha promptly grabbed him by the back of his head and pulled his face toward hers so they were only an inch or two apart. "If I have to hear another one of your sexist remarks I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass-" She grabbed his face as he turned to look away and positioned herself so they were eye to eye again. Before she could continue with what she was saying Negan gently grabbed her by the wrists and forced her hands off of him.

He could see her obvious strategic attempts at dominance so when he let a slow grin spread across his face it infuriated her. "Alpha... I've been with enough women to know the signs... grabbing my face, pulling my face toward your lips. I get it... but I'm a married man now. There is no way in hell I'm going to fuck you."

"Get out!" Alpha shouted, raising the gun now so it rested on his forehead.

Negan continued to grin and playfully answered, "No."

She cocked the gun back, never looking away from his eyes. "I mean it."

"You and I are riding this thing out together. Killing me is a pointless exercise in this little shindig we have going on here sweetheart. I know these roads better than anyone and shit... I'm the most entertaining passenger you'll ever fuckin' ride with." Negan winked and continued to smirk, "Lighten up honey... and we're in for a hell of a midnight ride."

Alpha couldn't believe his demeanor. She was quite literally speechless after typically having anyone and everyone fall at her mercy. "You are certifiable."

"Says the broad in the fucking skin suit." Negan let his eyebrows raised in fall, still speaking in a jovial manner despite her failure to lower the barrel from between his eyes.

"No sane man with a gun to his head smiles so genuinely."

"Anyone who's still living has a little bit of insanity just... rushing through their veins." He smiled wider, speaking just a little quieter.

Alpha paused a moment and then lowered her weapon and started the car, tucking the rifle on her left side between the seat and the door.

Negan sat back comfortably and let his arm hang partially out the open window. He felt Alpha staring at him but he didn't turn to her. He simply waited until the car began to move before letting out a deep sigh. "Over the river and through the fuckin' woods... " Negan shook his head as he spoke to himself, outwardly showing his displeasure for the mission at hand.

"I'm going to ignore you."

Negan threw his head back and laughed. "You couldn't ignore me if you were deaf, dumb and blind sweetheart." He laughed again, "I'd still work my way into that pretty little head of yours."

Alpha tried her best not to respond despite wanting to lash out at him as she had before. The tough antics worked with just about everyone else she'd come across. A gun to the head usually did the trick but she could see that it wasn't that way with Negan. She would have to figure out a new angle to play and at the moment she wasn't quite sure what that was.

 _I could just kill him_ , she thought, simultaneously and immediately against the fleeting thought though she couldn't pinpoint why.

When Negan began to whistle to himself she turned to him again but looked back out the windshield as she led a row of cars in a hopeful direction to find a new collection of walkers to live beside.

"Admit it," Negan finally said.

Alpha didn't want to respond but she felt compelled to. Everything he said sounded more like a riddle than actual conversation. "Admit what?" When he didn't reply she glanced away from the road to make eye contact with him.

"You have never met a motherfucker quite like me."

* * *

Alexandra found herself on pins and needles again but attempted to tend to the daily routines - if she could really call them that. When the morning hours came and Negan still wasn't back her anxieties began to climb.

"I can't believe he ditched me," Sarah complained, munching on a piece of toast at the kitchen table.

"He just wanted to get a feel for them himself first," Alexandra assured her, "He doesn't want you getting hurt."

"He knows that I'm capable what those men can do."

"I know." She nodded and set a plate down in front of Lucy, who sat next to Sarah. "But he cares about you more than them. Don't forget that."

Sarah sighed and pushed a small cup of orange juice toward Joseph as his tiny arms outstretched to their capacity in an attempt to reach it. "I get it... but it doesn't make it less annoying."

Alexandra smiled, looking around at the full plates of her children and then finally helped herself to some eggs and joined them.

"When is Daddy coming home?" Lucy asked, taking her glass of juice between two hands to take a long sip.

"Soon honey." She motioned to her plate, "Don't let the eggs get cold."

"Ma ma..." Joseph outstretched his arms in Alexandra's direction now and she scooped him up with ease before placing him on her lap at the table. He promptly reached for her eggs with his bare hands and Alexandra laughed with a sigh.

"JoJo no!" Lucy waved her hand at him. "Those aren't yours."

"It's okay sweetie," Alexandra assured her, "Eat."

Joseph didn't pay any attention to Lucy as he mindless shoved the eggs into his mouth, going back for more just after.

Sarah chuckled and took a bite from Joseph's plate and then laughed a little louder when he whined and looked back at Alexandra as if to say, _that's mine_.

Alexandra couldn't help but giggle but shook her head at Sarah. "Eat your own."

"Why does JoJo get two plates?" she joked, smiling as proceeded to take a bite from her own plate this time.

As Alexandra finally attempted to eat there was a loud knock at the front door. She sighed and closed her eyes. "Looks like breakfast is out the question," she said aloud. When another knock came shortly after she made brief eye contact with Sarah, who was about to get up.

"Sit." Alexandra shook her head and then rose to her feet, carefully replacing Joseph in the seat where she was just sitting. "I'll be right back."

Joseph immediately raised his arms again toward her, his bottom lip coming out in a pout and so she scooped him up again and placed him neatly on her hip before hurrying to the door. When she threw it open her heart leapt into her throat; her stomach twisted into what felt like a tight knot and the hair stood up on the back of her neck.

"Hi... Alexandra."

Her mouth hung open in a state of shock and she almost felt paralyzed. Her brain finally caught up and she blinked at first before shaking her head in a state of disbelief and a hint of genuine fear. "Hi Rick."


	41. Whisperers

Alexandra felt so many different emotions running through her that she wasn't sure which one to focus on. Rick's presence always trigger fear for Negan's safety, given their volatile past. She also felt angry at whoever it was that Rick waltz in and knock on their door. She was confused, anxious and skeptical. It was like a whirlwind in her head.

"May I...?" Rick didn't finish the sentence, speaking quietly in a low, gravely voice and Alexandra cleared her throat as she snapped out of the daze he'd put her in.

"Yes... sure." Alexandra stepped to the side and Rick slowly crept into the home. He glanced at Joseph, who only eyed him briefly before resting his head against Alexandra's chest.

"I'm here with Morgan and Maggie," he informed her, "They're speaking with your guards at the gates."

"Is there... is there a problem?" She looked directly at him and Rick met her eyes with a nod.

"From my understanding we have the same problem."

Alexandra raised her eyebrows and both of them turned as Sarah crept into the room. Her eyes widened at first when she spotted Rick standing there, a step inside the door and then a scowl formed on her face.

"Are you talking about these people?" Alexandra asked him, "They've been putting heads on sticks."

"The Whisperers," Rick confirmed with a nod as he returned his attention to her, "Yeah."

"The Whisperers?"

"Is that what they fuckin' call themselves?" Sarah asked, prompting Rick to turn his head in her direction a moment before he managed a brief flutter of a laugh from her word choice.

"Why the Whisperers?" Alexandra asked him.

"They live amongst the dead... the walkers," Rick confirmed, "They control them and wear their skin to blend in. They communicate through whispers so they go unnoticed. It works. They control the herds and have managed to do some real damage."

She sensed Rick hadn't come to chat with her and so she told him honestly. "Negan and some of the others have been out looking for walkers all night. He's not back yet. They killed off a large herd and apparently it's been affecting them. We offered to include them in our community but they wanted no part of it."

"They're savages," Rick agreed with a nod. "And they have the power and the numbers to do damage. They've already killed members of our community and the others we work with unprovoked."

Alexandra took a deep breath and put a hand on her forehead. She shook her head and readjusted Joseph in her arms.

"I need to speak with Negan," he went on.

"I thought he'd be back by now," Alexandra admitted. She began to toy with everything that could've gone wrong after Rick's claim of their savagery.

"I told the guards already... but the Whisperers can't know we're here." Rick looked around the empty living room, "I'd like to wait around if you don't mind to speak with him."

She couldn't deny that Rick's adamant need to speak with Negan with what seemed like a type of collaboration was like a breath of fresh air. If he really wanted to sit and talk with hopes to work together then Alexandra would do whatever she needed to to make it happen. There was always that lingering thought in the back of her mind that their two groups would collide again despite the truce that had been made. Collaborating to face a new enemy would be something that could truly end the feud for good.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked, motioning to the kitchen. "You can stay here until he comes back."

Rick nodded. "Thank you." He glanced at Sarah a moment, smiling to himself again from the look of disapproval that clung to her features.

"Alex... can I speak with you a moment?" she asked, prompting Alexandra to shake her head.

"Later," she replied, giving Sarah a look as she allowed Rick into the kitchen a step ahead of her.

Rick looked toward the kitchen table at Lucy, who's eyes immediately met his. Sarah rejoined her at the table but purposely kept her focus on Rick as if to say, 'you're in our territory'.

"I have eggs... oatmeal," Alexandra told him.

"You're going to let him eat our food?" Sarah asked.

"I'm fine," Rick said immediately.

"Sarah..." Alexandra shook her head, "Eat."

"Hi," Lucy said simply, waving a tiny hand at Rick.

"Hi." Rick gave a half-smile and Alexandra began to make a bowl of oatmeal despite his claims not to be hungry.

"Why are you here?" Sarah asked him.

"I need to bounce some ideas off of Negan." He glanced over his shoulder as Alexandra handed him a bowl. "Thank you."

"What are we best friends now?" Sarah went on.

Rick began to laugh before Alexandra could say anything else and he leaned against the counter and spooned a mouthful of the food. "You remind me of my son."

She made a face, crinkling her nose in disapproval. "Doubtful."

He laughed quietly to himself again and let out a deep breath through his nose.

Alexandra helped Joseph back to the table to finish his breakfast and this time he didn't reach back for her, focusing on the eggs in the plate in front of him. She stood just a step behind, holding the back of the chair but turned to Rick.

"These Whisperers... they've attacked you?"

"Multiple times. People in our communities are starting to doubt their safety. The severed heads are scaring people. They're losing trust." He drew a hand across his brow line, "This group has the manpower and the additional support of the undead. I can't be sure what they've got but they've already caused panic."

"What do you want to speak with Negan about?"

Rick seemed hesitant to state his purpose but finally let it out. "I need his advice."

Alexandra raised her eyebrows, again filled with a sense of surprise and relief.

"The more people we have working together the better," he went on. "I see you're all affected by this group just as much as we are."

"Just as of recently," she informed him, "I thought if we got them what they wanted they would leave."

Rick looked at the children, seeing as the younger two were consumed with their breakfast. Sarah was wholly invested in the conversation at hand. "They aren't going to leave," he informed her, "Whatever they say they want there will be another thing... and another. Those heads on the sticks are to intimidate and claim territory. I saw the rows bordering your community when we drove in. They're making a statement. They want this land... did the same thing to us."

"And if they don't get it?"

"They'll fight." Rick nodded, "They burned houses down... killed our guards." He shook his head, "As unorthodox as they seem they're very intelligent... purposeful."

Alexandra could see the seriousness in Rick's eyes and felt that Negan was either downplaying the threat, hadn't been exposed to the extent of the Whisperers, or simply didn't feel as threatened by their presence as Rick did.

When the front door opened Alexandra took a deep breath and hurried to the doorway that led from the kitchen to the living room.

"Hey baby." Negan flashed a barely-there smile beneath tired eyes and closed the front door behind him before he approached her with a long hug that she wasn't expecting. "I'm fuckin' tired."

Alexandra allowed him the moment to decompress. She ran her hand up and down his back, prepared to tell him about Rick the moment they parted. When he didn't separate himself from her she pulled the side of his face to her lips and left a kiss on his cheek. Before she could say anything at all she heard him speak without moving away from her.

"Ho-ly shit." The lethargy that accompanied Negan's voice a moment before had disappeared, only to be replaced with a sense of amusement. At that moment Alexandra knew he must have seen Rick in the kitchen and she turned to glance over her shoulder, following his eyes as Rick appeared in the doorway.

"Hi Negan."

Negan's arms loosened around Alexandra and the slowest of grins spread across his face in a Cheshire-cat like fashion. "Rick Grimes," he almost shouted his name aloud, "What in the holy fuck are you doing in my kitchen?"


	42. Work Together

"We need to talk," Rick told Negan, his voice scratchy, low and direct. He nodded as he spoke and Negan smiled wider.

"I would fuckin' love to."

"Good." He wasn't as enthused but looked around first level of the house.

Negan waved an arm, "Come with me." He glanced down at Alexandra a moment, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

She nodded and headed back in to be with the kids as Rick followed Negan toward the front door.

"I'm going to go out on a fuckin' limb here and say you're not alone," Negan said as they passed through the front door onto the front porch.

"I have a few others with me. They were at the front gates with your people but..." Rick scanned the area, looking toward the front but then refocused on Negan. "You met Alpha."

Negan's face grew more serious. He practically groaned her name. "Alpha."

"They've been killing people from all of the communities we work with."

He cleared his throat and gave a little nod. "I saw one of my former people on those fuckin' pikes..." Negan paused, "Arat."

"Other Saviors have been killed."

The word 'Saviors' triggered an emotional pull at Negan's chest as he let a fleeting memory of the place he'd built filter through his mind. "Your people?"

"Yes." Rick nodded. "The Whisperers... they're strange."

"Whisperers?" Negan smirked and then Rick went on.

"They use their whispers to communicate," he informed him, "I'm guessing you've seen the skin suits. They live with-"

"The dead... fuck, I know." He shook his head, "Weirdest shit I've ever fuckin' seen."

"Yeah..." Rick put his hands on his hips and looked outward at the community, "This is how they start. Soon they'll get more demanding. Killing people. We still don't know what type of numbers they have but it's a lot."

Negan thought for a moment and followed Rick's stare as he gazed up the homes in rows in their quaint, little community. He then let another smile decorate his face. "You wouldn't, uh..." Negan smiled wider when Rick turned to him, "You wouldn't be suggesting we fuckin' work together would you?"

Rick drew his thumb across his eyebrows and looked down a moment before glancing back up at Negan. "Yeah," he said slowly.

"Well shit!" Negan smacked him lightly on the top of the arm, "Look how far we've fuckin' come. This is like Christmas!"

"We have a common enemy."

"How the fuck did you know that?"

"I didn't," Rick admitted, "I came down to see if you'd heard of them and if your people could contribute."

"Contribute to what?"

"To eliminating them."

Negan stared at Rick more seriously and looked him up and down. "How do you not have the numbers?"

"We need more people," he went on, "And the people of Alexandria they're... they're starting to have doubts. They're starting to have fear. They're angry... they're demanding action and I don't know if we have the means to take these people out."

Negan paused a moment and then went on, "They don't want action." He shook his head, "What they need is fuckin' security. Whether it's truthful or a fuckin' stretch you need to make your people feel secure."

"Yeah?" Rick shook his head and smiled though wasn't amused, "It's a little difficult to do with this group scaring the shit out of everybody, cutting off peoples' heads-"

"It's called manipulation Rick." Negan leaned his hands on the handle of his front porch and looked out toward the yard for a moment, "You need to manipulate them, not in a bad fuckin' way but twist the truth to make them feel more fuckin' secure for the time being. Tell them you're working with a group with more fuckin' firepower than they could imagine. Tell them that the Whisperers' numbers are less than you thought and that the heads game is all a fuckin' scare tactic. Tell them you've got a plan Rick and it'll put their pretty little heads at ease."

Rick let out a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, "I think that could work," he admitted, "For now."

"Be fuckin' convincing."

"What happened to your son?"

Negan turned back to Rick with serious eyes. "How'd you-"

"There's a bandage on his head."

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Stray bullet."

"Was it them?"

Negan cleared his throat, not wanting to let his guard down in front of Rick to any extent. "Yeah." He closed his eyes for a moment and then reopened them to look at him.

"We need each other," Rick said to him. "We can beat them."

"We got them what they fuckin' asked for," Negan informed him, "I was out all night with that crazy fuckin' broad getting them more undead to roam around with. They might just go away."

"They won't."

"They might."

"You don't want vengeance for what they did to your son?"

Negan hardened his features. "I'm done with all that shit. I want what's best for my fuckin' family."

"Yeah, well..." Rick paused and then held his eye contact, "What's best for your family is eliminating the Whisperers."

"A war?"

"A plan."

Negan thought for a moment and when he didn't initially respond Rick went on.

"They _will_ come for more," Rick informed him, "If you want to keep this place the way it is you'll join us in fighting them."

"And what if one of your fuckin' people who hasn't been quite as forgiving tries to fuckin' take me out?"

"They won't."

"I can't be sure of that shit." He shook his head, "We may have made peace but there are a shit ton of emotions still looming around in the background."

"We take on the Whisperers... together."

"Carl on board with being on my side?" Negan asked, "How about fuckin' Daryl?"

"I'll talk to them," Rick promised, "I'll tell everyone that we need your people to do this."

Negan kept his eyes serious for another moment before a smile returned to his face.

"You'll see you need this as much as we do," Rick went on. "It looks like you dodged a tragedy already," he motioned to the front door, "Your son is alright. Don't let something else happen that could be a lot worse... that _will_ be a lot worse."

Negan's smile faded and for a moment the two men stared at one another. "Talk to you people. Get them on board. Do what I said," he instructed, "And then you can come back and talk to me about deals."

Rick looked him in the eye and nodded. "Alright."

They continued the stare down, each man trying to figure out the intentions of the other but Rick nodded again and took the three steps down into the yard.

"Rick." Negan looked outward and he spun around. "You get your people on board fully... and I'll round up the best fuckin' people this community has to offer."

Rick nodded once, squinting into the sun that shined over the top of the house and then turned and made his way back toward the gates that led out of The Manor.


	43. Whiskey for Two

Negan poured Alexandra a drink from a bottle of whiskey they kept in the house and then helped himself to one. The two of them sat face to face across from one another at the kitchen table just after she laid the children down to bed. A small light in the corner of the living room trickled in, providing them with just enough lighting to see one another.

"You don't have to drink it," he told her quietly, "But it looked like you might need it."

"I do." Alexandra rested one hand beneath her chin and swept up the glass in the other. She took a small sip and then set it back down.

Negan swirled the liquid in the bottom of the glass and then took a longer sip before letting out a sigh. "Talk about the surprise of the fuckin' century."

"Yeah."

He looked at her. "What are your thoughts on all of this?"

"It sucks," she said right away, making him grin briefly. "And I don't like it... but I guess this is the next thing that's been dropped on our doorstep."

"The whole heads on sticks thing is a fuckin' scare tactic. I bet they don't have the numbers Rick thinks they do."

"Well the scare tactic works." Alexandra took another small sip and then leaned back in her chair and folded her arms. "Do you think it's safe to work with them?"

Negan looked her in the eye, leaning forward with his hands around the glass to compliment her opposing posture. "Honestly... I don't know."

"Maybe you should just stick to the guys here."

He nodded. "Maybe. I just can't tell yet if we need more than that. Rick seems to think so."

"What if he's setting you up?"

Negan shook his head. "He's not."

"No?"

"His peoples' heads were on those sticks too," he reminded her, "And if they were killed by the Whisperers or whatever the fuck this group calls themselves then Rick isn't going to work with them to try to fuckin' take me out. That guy is a loyal motherfucker, I have to say. If someone hurt his people..." Negan shook his head and took another sip from his glass of whiskey. "He needs people."

Alexandra studied his features; his expression. "I don't want you getting thrown into the shark tank Negan."

"Honey... I'm the fuckin' great white. Don't fuckin' worry about me."

"I mean it." She shook her head, "This whole thing is odd to begin with. It doesn't feel right."

"They've got a cryptic fuckin' feel, Alpha and her crew, I'll give you that. But I'm willing to bet they ain't shit. When you're a scary motherfucker you don't need a skin mask or even a trophy case full of heads to put on display. When you're fuckin' scary you don't say you are."

"I wish that made me feel better."

"I talked to Kismet today after Rick left."

Alexandra looked up at him again. "About?"

"An exit strategy."

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Worst case-"

"Scenario," Alexandra finished his sentence, "Yeah, I've heard it before."

"Without planning you're fucked," Negan reminded her, "We need to cover all possibilities."

"What's the exit strategy?" She shook her head, looking at him with disapproval.

"Kismet and George take you, our kids, women and the other children, the doctors you work with and they bring you all up the mountain to their hideaway."

Alexandra simply stared at him for a moment and then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She swallowed, nodded and looked around the room.

"I'm not trying to upset you honey," Negan informed her, "You need this. You know you need this. It's a worst case..." His voice drifted off before he said the last word, "Scenario."

She nodded, still looking away for a moment before taking another sip. "I wish we had a camera." Alexandra set the glass down again and sighed, "I don't want to ever forget what you look like. I don't want the kids to forget what you look like."

"I'm not going to fuckin' die Alex." He shook his head adamantly but didn't at all raise his voice. "And it's not my fault that people are attacking us."

"I'm not saying..." Alexandra shook her head again. "I know Negan. I just want this so bad. I want this house. I want some form of education for our kids. I want eggs for breakfast. I want to bake apple pies with Nancy. I want you... here. Always." She shook her head and leaned forward to face him more closely and spoke in a voice just above a whisper, "I'm just venting."

Negan placed his hands over hers on the table. "I know."

"Why you?"

"Why me?'

"Why do they always come for you?"

Negan shrugged simply and replied, half-kidding. "Because I'm the fucking king; the alpha male..." He paused with a grin when he saw her trying to fight one off, "The fucking man."

Alexandra managed a small smile that she tried to badly to fight.

"I don't want this Alexandra," Negan told her, "I really fuckin' don't."

"I know."

"I'm just trying to get you on fuckin' board... catch you up so you know what's going on."

"This is a part of our life. How quickly I forget that when things are quiet." She took a longer sip of the whiskey.

"Easy there doll." Negan winked when she looked up at him.

"Am I not allowed to get drunk?" she asked him.

"I'd love to fuckin' see that," he admitted with a grin, "In all the time we've been together I haven't."

"Should I rehash the time you got drunk and woke up in another woman's house?"

"Now wait a minute-" Negan smiled wider and pointed a finger in her direction.

"You're lucky I didn't..." Alexandra shook her head.

"Lucky you didn't what?" he challenged, leaning forward a little more.

"Punch you in the face in front of everyone before the truth came out."

Negan chuckled and swirled the liquid again in the glass. He finished it and then helped himself to some more. "One drink to remember... and another to forget." He glanced up at her as he finished the sentence and they shared a smile before Alexandra shook her head. Negan raised the bottle offering some more and when she shrugged he laughed lightly and pour a little bit more in her glass. "Atta girl."

Alexandra winked back at him and took another sip. "This is what you do to me."

Negan laughed lightly again. "What _I_ do to you?"

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded, keeping the glass between her hands in front of the lower half of her face before swirling it around as he had. "This could use some ice."

"Drink it like a man," he teased.

Alexandra smiled wider at him and placed the glass down.

Negan smiled and kept sipping. "I know that look... that's the 'you're driving me fuckin' nuts' look."

"Well... not you personally," she informed him, "More of the entire situation." Alexandra brought the glass back to her lips. "But yeah... you're right."

"Let Daddy make it better."

Alexandra couldn't help but laugh and watched him intently as he stood up pulled up another seat beside her. "I hope one day they have mental hospitals available... you know twenty years down the road or so." She closed her eyes when he leaned in and touched his lips to her neck.

"The whole world is one big fucking mental hospital." He landed against her and then continued what he was doing as he slid a hand to her inner thigh.

"I'm too stressed to do this," Alexandra told him but bit down on her bottom lip when he snaked his fingers up the inside the leg of her shorts.

Negan put his lips to her ear and closed his eyes as he whispered. "I'm trying to alleviate some of that for you." He thumbed her underwear to the side beneath her shorts and smiled when she let out a deep breath. "Since I caused it."

Alexandra kept her eyes closed and turned her body just slightly to face him as her legs began to shake from the way he touched her. "You didn't cause it."

Negan let his tongue dance across the very bottom of her ear. "I feel responsible." He began to gently bite down on her earlobe while continuing on with his fingers.

She let out a quiet moan for only him to hear when he began to kiss her neck gently again. Alexandra threw one of her legs up across his lap, leaving her other foot touching the floor and simultaneously drew her hand across the front of the blue pajama pants he had on.

He quickly turned his chair to face her more directly and only stopped what he was doing to slide her toward him with both hands before slipping his fingers back up the inside of her shorts.

"No one's awake right?" Alexandra whispered against his lips as he pulled her toward him even closer in their embrace.

"No." Negan kissed her more forcefully, placing his free hand over hers as she continued to touch him.

"Should we go upstairs?"

"No," he repeated, feeling her lips come crashing back against his this time as her hand slid down the front of his pants. Negan breathed heavily out of his nose and moaned against her lips.

"This is long overdue isn't it?" Alexandra asked pulling back without stopping what she was doing.

"Fuck," Negan's eyes were closed and he whispered the only words he could get out at that moment. "Fuck... yeah..." He moaned and whispered again, "It is."

She rose to her feet and dragged her chair next to him so they were side by side, making him look up to her in the darkness and let his hands clutch her hips as she attempted to straddle him without removing her shorts.

Negan breathed heavily, readjusting in the center of the two chairs before allowing her to take the lead. He pulled down at the front of her shirt to gain access to her breasts and felt her entangle the hair on the back of his head in her fingers. His hands squeezed against her when she became successful in her attempt to connect them and he finally leaned his head back with a loud sigh of approval.

"If someone comes down," she took a breath, "I'll just hop off you."

"Okay." He whispered.

Alexandra leaned down and touched her lips to his once.

Negan drifted his hands up the back of her shirt, returning the kiss before hugging her chest to his face as she began to move on top of him.

She sighed his name aloud, gripping the back of the chair with one hand and holding his head with the other. Alexandra started to pick up the pace but he gripped her hips again and leaned his head back to stare up at her.

"Go fuckin' slow doll."

"I love it when you call me that." Alexandra leaned down and kissed him passionately, staying still as he arched himself up into her several times. She took a quick breath in their kiss, "It reminds me of when we first met." She kissed him again and felt him become more dominant with his mouth, making her moan against him again.

Negan moaned back and allowed her to take the pace back over, pleased when she obeyed his request and kept the forward thrust of her hips slow and methodical. "That's it doll." He let his mouth hang open with his eyes closed, smiling for a second when he heard her mid-lovemaking giggle and then tried to suppress a moan with little success.

"Shh..." Alexandra made the sound against his lips but didn't let up, silencing him with a kiss. She decided to reiterate the statement that kicked off their moment of intimacy, "Let Mama take care of you," she whispered.

Negan let out another loud sigh, now putty in her hands. "Okay."

She smiled as his tongue slid across his bottom lip as she leaned down to kiss him again.

"You are fucking... incredible Alexandra." Negan ran a hand up her neck and rested it against her jaw before tracing his thumb against her lips.

Alexandra kissed the pad of his finger several times. She knew there was no other choice than to live in the moment.

Fate had brought her and Negan together; had brought Sarah into their lives and Lucy and Joseph. Fate had led them to the Manor and allowed for Kismet and George to save Negan. Fate had also led Rick Grimes to their door that morning. They had won the battle many times over and Alexandra prayed that fate would remain on their side with whatever came knocking at their door next.


	44. Surprise

Negan took the stairs to the second floor at the late hour of the night. He listened for a moment to see if any of the kids were awake as Alexandra opened the door to their room. The day had been exhausting between the entire night out before with the Whisperers and the meeting with Rick earlier in the day. The pillows, the comforter, the bed... it all looked overwhelmingly inviting.

"Negan." The handheld radio placed on top of the nightstand went off and Alexandra turned her head toward him as she reached for it on her side of the bed.

"What the fuck," he said quietly to himself, rolling his eyes in displeasure from the call at the late hour.

Alexandra took it upon herself to speak into it. "What do you need Jack?"

The two of them waited in the silence of their room and Negan finally waved his fingers to have her hand him the radio. After the initial pause, Jack's voice returned over the small speaker.

"I'm going to need you to come down to the main gates," Jack said to him. His voice was calm but adamant.

"Jesus..." Alexandra whispered and sighed before sitting on the edge of the bed.

Negan brought the walkie-talkie to his lips and squeezed her shoulder with his other hand. "What for?" He looked Alexandra in the eye almost apologetically.

"We've got a visitor."

He closed his eyes and scratched his forehead, hesitating before speaking again. "Fucking elaborate Jack."

"Same one as earlier."

"Well we've had about ten fucking people in and out of this fucking place today so you're going to have to be a little more God damn specific."

Alexandra rested a hand on his forearm, urging him to calm down but he clenched his jaw and shook his head.

"Rick."

Negan paused another time, looking her in the eye again and then finally responded. "I'll be right there."

Alexandra looked at him in an attempt not to be worried or annoyed.

"I'm sorry." Negan set the walkie down and looked around the room for his boots that he knew were downstairs.

"I'm sorry you haven't gotten to rest at all today... or last night."

"Running on fuckin' fumes," he confirmed, "Can't say I'm not used to it." Negan eyed the bed, wishing for nothing more than a solid few hours of sleep and then ran a hand through his hair. he put his hands out to the sides. "I'll be back."

"Don't go unarmed."

"Never do."

Alexandra sighed loudly and he turned to her, giving her a solid kiss on the lips. "So much for cuddling after."

Negan gave the smallest smile and tapped under her chin gently with his first two fingers. He then looked at her slightly more seriously. "Do I have the go-ahead to make a plan that I see fit?"

"I've never stood in your way before."

"I know... but if-"

"I trust you," Alexandra cut him off, "I've always trusted you."

Negan took in a deep breath and then let it out through his nose. "I don't want a fight... but it may come to that."

She kissed him again. "I'll try to stay up."

"Don't." Negan ran a hand through her hair and then headed toward the bedroom door. He hurried down the stairs toward the kitchen and slipped his boots on that he'd left beside the kitchen table before hurrying to the door, locking it as he made his way out.

Rick waited patiently, dragging the toe of his boot over a set of stray rocks on top of the pavement by the gates. He glanced around the darkness and was pleased when he saw Negan's figure in the distance.

Negan walked fast, eager to know why Rick had returned and when they came face to face he didn't sport his typical grin. "Couldn't stay away?" he asked.

"They're expanding... or trying to."

Negan shrugged, shaking his head. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Two of the people at the Kingdom were killed between this morning and now for trespassing on their territory."

He knew he was about to come across as a dick. "So don't go on their territory."

Rick hardened his eyes. "Every day they claim to have more land. They want to take over this entire area. More good people are getting killed."

"Can't you work out some kind of fucking treaty with these fuckers the way you tried to with me?" Negan asked him. "Set up a motherfuckin' boundary line or some shit."

He shook his head. "They want more. They always want more."

"Did you get your people's shit straight? Are they still scared and angry?"

"We had a meeting... but right after that Ezekiel's men were killed."

"So the answer is still fuckin' no then?"

"Look... they'll come and do this to you eventually," Rick informed him again, "They're making their presence known. You've been here for how long and never heard of these Whisperers. Now they're everywhere... they're out there and they're coming closer... and closer... and closer." He leaned in Negan's direction and hissed the words in his face. "You of all people should know the importance of being proactive."

"Proactive?" Negan raised his eyebrows. "Did you call killing my outpost of Saviors to start our little feud proactive? Because I'd call that fucking stupid. You didn't know what you were dealing with-"

"I do now." Rick nodded, "I know what I'm dealing with and I know I need more. I need you and the people of this community to join us."

"I'm not starting a fucking war Rick."

"They've already started it by killing our people... your former people."

"My _former_ people." Negan emphasized the word. "I'm with the people of the Manor now." He smiled for the first time, "I consider it my fuckin' retirement."

Rick squinted his eyes, looking him up and down and then shook his head and reached for a walkie-talkie on his belt. "Daryl... come on."

"What the fuck is that about?" He reached for his gun and signaled to Jack.

"Stop." Rick put his hands out, urging him to put the weapon back. "I'm not doing anything to compromise you or anyone else."

"What the fuck are you radioing to Daryl for?"

"He's outside," he admitted, "With someone else."

"And..." Negan shook his head, his hand still resting on the handle of the pistol at his hip.

"Do I let them in?" Jack shouted down to Negan.

"Who the fuck is it?"

"Two men."

"Disarm them."

Rick looked up at the tower where Jack stood, listening as he told them to place their weapons on the hood of the car before walking empty handed toward the gates.

"Leave the guns out there," Rick emphasized into the radio.

"Why do I feel like there's some sort of fuckin'... surprise." Negan looked directly at Rick now until he turned and made eye contact with him.

He didn't respond, though both of them turned as the gates were lifted and Daryl walked in side by side with someone else. At first Negan couldn't tell who was to his left in the darkness, but soon his features became clear and he raised his eyebrows.

"No fuckin' shit." A smile formed on his face and he eyed the man up and down.

Rick looked back to Negan. "If I can't convince you maybe Simon can."

Negan stared at his old friend intently, shocked to see his face but happy all the same. He looked slightly older, with more grays but essentially the same as when they'd been forced to part ways under the circumstances of the war.

"Simon." He nodded approvingly. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Simon took a deep breath, letting a slow smile form on his face and he laughed once. "I didn't think you were still alive."

Negan grinned back and held his arms out. "This is some fuckin' surprise Rick."

"Yeah... well..." Rick looked to Simon again, who proceeded to speak.

In the simplest way that got right to the point he looked Negan in the eye. Simon took a deep breath and then shook his head, letting his posture mimic his friend's. "We need ya."


	45. Simon

Negan walked side by side with Simon down the streets of the Manor, vaguely introducing him to the in's and out's of the community he called home. They stopped for a moment in front of his house and Simon looked at him, almost in disbelief.

"You... you have a fuckin' family?" his old friend's eyebrows were pressed together, expression twisting in confusion that slowly transformed into a Cheshire-cat like grin. "I think I'm hearing shit wrong."

Negan smiled, "Shit has... changed."

Simon stared up at the white home with blue shutters that was accompanied by a small front porch. He shook his head. "Some broad here cut your balls off huh?"

He laughed louder and patted him on the back. "I fuckin' miss having you to shoot the shit with Simon."

"Any other prospects here? How many women you messing around with?"

Negan shook his head and then led him away from the house down toward the barn. "Just one."

"Bullshit." Simon laughed as they walked down the darkened street.

"No bullshit." He sighed, "You knew her."

"Who?"

"My wife."

Simon stopped a moment and looked at him. "Wife? Singular, not plural... right?"

Negan nodded again. "She was a medic at the Sanctuary."

He thought for a minute and then a lightbulb went off and he raised his eyebrows. "Oh shit... yeah... Alicia?"

"Alexandra." He smiled.

"So now you're Suzie Homemaker?"

Negan let out another laugh, "Watch who you're fuckin' talk to like that Simon."

Simon continued to find amusement in his old friend's situation but shook his head at him. "So... what then?"

"What do you mean?"

"You won't fight anymore? You're done?"

"I have two fuckin' kids... little kids. I don't want them exposed to all this shit. There's stability here."

Simon shook his head. "There's a shit storm brewing Negan."

"Not here."

"Alpha... the Whisperers-"

"They're a fucking joke at best."

Simon continued his plea, "No. No they've got some steam. They're killing people."

"Lots of people?"

"Enough people." Simon sighed and drew a hand across his brow line. "If they've already come in contact with you then they're here to stay. They won't go quietly."

Negan sighed. "I gave them what they wanted and it was fuckin' easy. Walkers."

"You know how this shit works. They'll want more; demand more. They killed Arat."

"I know."

Simon raised his eyebrows. "We're still functioning... the Saviors... the Sanctuary."

Negan froze for a moment, thinking of the place he built; his former home.

"I made a truce with the Alexandria Safe Zone... and the Hilltop... the Kingdom."

"The Sanctuary is still standing?"

Simon nodded. "Dwight tried to take over... and he did for a short time."

Negan wanted to see what Simon knew, noting in his mind Dwight's assassination attempt as he located the Manor - it was his fatal mistake. "And what happened with that?"

"It took a little time... and lot of fuckin' work but I took over... got his backstabbing ass out of the leadership position. People got tired of his shit pretty quickly."

"Where's ol' Dwighty boy now?"

Simon stared off blankly for a moment and then shrugged. "Ran off... died... damned if I fuckin' know."

Negan decided to indulge him with information. "I killed him."

He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Dwight found us here. Came in firing away."

"Oh, shit..."

"Know anything about that?"

Simon looked at him more seriously. "Fuck no." He shook his head, "No."

Negan studied his expression a moment and then smiled. "I didn't think so."

"Dwight almost got all of us killed that night." He looked him up and down, almost in disbelief. "How the fuck did you survive? The last I saw you-"

"Yeah my throat was fuckin' slashed... blah, blah, blah... I'm over it." Negan grinned, "Me and Rick even made amends. I'm like his therapist, he comes to me for advice and shit."

Simon continued to stare at him a moment and then a smile reappeared on his face. He hit him in the arm. "I can't fuckin' believe this shit." He looked around again, "You should come back. Things are different now but you could step back in at The Sanctuary. It could be you and me just like the old days man."

Negan thought about it for a moment, wondering what was truly going on back at the place he formerly called home. He wasn't sure if his old group would even want him back - not that he cared what they thought. The people of the Manor, he knew, thought of him as a leader; an asset. Despite Matt being the face and founder of the community he called the shots - everyone knew it. Matt in many ways was a willing puppet on the strings that Negan pulled. He enjoyed the power without the notoriety - a drastic development in his character that he openly acknowledged.

"I'm too old for that shit Simon." Negan shook his head, "I don't need motherfuckers like Dwight or people with their own agendas gunning for my head. I have the best of both fuckin' worlds here."

"Too old or not, these people are a threat." He looked him in the eye, "This place is nice and all but... your family might not be as safe as you think."

Negan sucked on his teeth, feeling a twinge of anger at Simon's words but he knew lashing out at him would be misplaced.

"I'm not... I'm not saying that shit to be a fuckin' dick," Simon assured him, knowing his friend well enough to see the anger in his eyes, "I just... I know we need to eradicate these fucks before they get stronger."

He cleared his throat. "Joseph was already shot."

"Joseph?"

"My son." Negan hardened his eyes a bit more.

"Is he, uh..."

"No." He shook his head, "He's fine. The bullet clipped the top of his fuckin' ear."

"Was it them?"

Negan let out a breath through his nose. It was enough of a response to let Simon know the truth.

"We need you," his friend explained, "We've known each other almost since the start of all this shit. I wouldn't be here asking this shit from you if it wasn't necessary." The two men stared at one another before Simon went on, "They _will_ come again. You'd be the fuckin' difference and we can get rid of them. Don't wait for them to come back and attack where your wife and kids sleep."


	46. You Had Me At Hello

Negan and Simon wandered back down the street and saw Rick and Daryl sitting across from Matt at a picnic table. Both Rick and Matt nodded as they spoke and Negan attempted to pick up on the body language of all three men as they approached.

Rick and Daryl both turned, eying Negan when they grew closer.

"Seems like we have a bit of a fuckin' problem on our hands," Negan said aloud, placing his foot on the edge of the table where Matt sat.

"If we can work together," Matt began, "Our community and theirs... we may be able to stop it before it starts here."

"Exterminate the rats," Simon added.

"This is the big move," Rick explained, "These people have no idea that we have any connection to one another." He looked at Negan specifically.

"You missing that crossbow of yours again Daryl?" Negan asked, "I saw one of them fucks with one. Don't see that kind of shit too often."

Daryl didn't respond. He simply stared at him a moment before Rick went on.

"Matt thinks it's a good idea," he said simply, "If you're not an attacker, you're a target. Let's take the bull's eyes off our backs... they'll never expect it to be all of us versus them. It'll give our people a piece of mind to know another community is on board."

Negan smiled. "Getting shit done. I like it." He pointed and then tried to give a nod to Daryl who remained stone-faced behind a pair of squinted eyes.

Matt glanced at Simon a moment. "I didn't get a chance to introduce myself. I'm Matt."

"Simon."

The two men shook hands and Negan nodded to his old friend.

"We go back since the fuckin' beginning."

"Are you staying with Rick?" Matt asked, prompting both Simon and Rick to respond with a simultaneous, "No."

Matt glanced back and forth between the two men for a moment and then glanced back at Simon. "Do you need a place to live?"

"I run my own place," Simon put a hand on his chest, boasting at first and then humbly cleared his throat and looked to Negan. "The place Negan built."

"Sanctuary," Negan nearly mumbled the word and didn't want to get back into talks from the past.

"You, uh... you're staying here right?" Matt asked him.

"Not if I can help it," Simon responded for him, hitting him on the back.

"I think it's best if he stays," Daryl grumbled lowly.

"Negan?" Matt asked, not wanting to lose him as a powerful asset to the Manor.

He cleared his throat. "This is our home." Negan nodded. "My kids are safe here."

"They will be if we get rid of these Whisperers," Rick informed him.

Negan sighed through his nose and then looked at Rick. "If Matt's in, then I'm in."

"I'm in," Matt said with a nod, "We have to eliminate these people before all breaks loose. We've already come too close to more tragedy."

Negan glanced over at Simon. "This shit is legit?" He didn't care that he was asking in front of Rick and Daryl.

"Yeah." Simon nodded and looked down a moment, "When they got Arat..." He took a breath and let his eyes rise to meet Negan's, "Yeah let's fuckin' wipe these fuckers out for good."

Negan stood quietly for a moment, looking directly at Simon and then went from person to person - all of which stared back at him waiting for some type of confirmation.

"What do you say man?" Simon smiled at him, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to work with his old friend again.

He didn't smile back, but used humor to indicate a response. "You had me at hello."

...

Negan didn't want war. He didn't want change. He didn't even want to see what had become of the Sanctuary. All he wanted was to live as he'd been trying to for the sake of his family. Inside he didn't know if it was his age or something else that led to the drastic change in priorities but it wasn't something he was capable of denying.

Alexandra was on the same page - she always had been. Negan knew that him running off to either challenge someone or join some sort of revolution caused her anxiety to levels he could only relate to through his own fears for her life. That's why he dreaded the talk he was going to have to have with her regarding the plan.

Negan sighed as he shuffled quietly up the stairs. The adrenaline from the post-midnight meeting with Simon, Rick, Daryl and Matt was beginning to wear off and the exhaustion from before plagued him once again. He carefully opened the door to the room where Lucy and Joseph slept, finding contentment in their slumber and then did the same with Sarah - moreso to make sure she hadn't snuck out without them knowing it. When all three children were confirmed safe and sound he made his way into the bedroom where Alexandra tossed and turned.

"Sorry to keep you up," he said, finally able to slink out of his boots and street clothes to find comfort in the small sea of sheets and pillows.

"You didn't," Alexandra replied in a groggy tone turning her back so he could slid in behind her.

"Bullshit." Negan kissed her shoulder and linked his fingers through hers as he intertwined their feet at the end of the bed.

"What happened," she asked him without opening her eyes.

"We'll talk in the morning."

"It is the morning." Alexandra sighed when he pulled her closer into him.

"Well..." Negan let out a breath against her neck, "When the sun comes up then. Go to sleep."

She was too tired to question him further and cleared her throat. "Okay." Alexandra yawned, "Anything I should be worried about."

"Always."

Alexandra turned toward him slightly, glancing over her shoulder but turned around again when he kissed her cheek. "That's not comforting."

"Simon came in with Rick and Daryl."

"What?" she turned now, the string of names peaking her interest.

"Yeah."

"Simon from-"

"The Sanctuary," Negan finished.

"What... is he, does he live with them at their community?"

"No." He shook his head, "He runs the Sanctuary now."

Alexandra raised her eyebrows, feeling curiosity nipping at her mind. "There's still a Sanctuary?"

"Rebuilt supposedly." He smirked, "What, you want to go back?"

She was taken off-guard at the thought and responded with, "Do you?"

Negan shook his head. "No. Simon asked if I would."

"But... you won't?"

"Should we?" He looked her in the eye, "I mean-"

"We can't." Alexandra swallowed hard. A small part of her longed for it, possibly like a grown woman longing to hold on to a piece of her hometown that she'd loved so much as a girl. Still, she knew they were stable at the Manor, and far enough away where potential threats against Negan's life from people still holding a grudge were minimal; not to mention to collection of people who had their backs as members of the Manor.

"I know," Negan agreed. He studied her wondrous eyes and knew behind them was a now restless mind that he hadn't intended on awakening. "Go to sleep honey." He kissed her once gently on the lips. "We'll talk tomorrow. I didn't mean to wake you up again."

She shook her head and returned the gesture, kissing him back another time before rolling over and settling her back against his chest again. Alexandra laid there awake despite the heaviness in her eyes and eventually despite Negan's heavy snores. Flashbacks from the Sanctuary caused her thoughts to be filled with confusion and mixed emotions, all the while she knew there was a deeper, underlying reason to Simon's presence at the Manor - and she suspected it had to do with the Whisperers.

 _I hope I never run out of prayers,_ she thought to herself, _because I have a feeling I'm going to be asking for protection of Negan's life once more._


	47. Sanctuary Bound

Alex had one of Negan's dark, hooded sweatshirts draped over her arm as he prepared himself to join Simon in a visit back to the Sanctuary.

She hated the idea, even with their old ally essentially leading the charge. The truth was that there would always be tension with Rick's people, old wounds could certainly be opened and the Whisperers were lurking around.

"Take your own vehicle," Alex ordered.

Negan nodded and accepted the item of closing, tossing it up over his head and then pulling a baseball hat low over his eyes.

"If you have to be incognito should you be going?" She asked with a sigh.

"Life is one risk after another," he reminded her, pulling the hood up next.

"Not here."

"Not now." Negan challenged. "But with these fucks running around it will be... regularly."

"You're certain?"

Negan nodded again. "Yes."

Alex sighed and Negan tipped her chin to look up at him with his first two fingers. "Jack will be down to look after you while I'm gone. He's on official family duty."

"Send him in your place instead."

"I wish I could doll but I'm kind of a big deal." He tipped his mouth up in jest but Alex didn't find amusement in the situation.

"That's my concern."

"We're going to meet... come up with a plan... I'm going to re-evaluate the threat."

"You're going back to the Sanctuary..." Alex hadn't quite come to terms with it given that the last time she was there everything was in shambles. The people wanted Negan dead or in prison. She couldn't help but fear that he was somehow walking into the lion's den. Still, she had to trust his judgment and it made her feel a little more at ease knowing that Simon was involved.

"Things aren't going to change for us here," Negan assured her. "If anything we're going to be better for it." He studied her face when she looked down, "Kiss me."

Alex looked back up to him with her hands on her hips in protest for a moment before stepping toward him and planting a single kiss in his lips.

"Like you mean it honey." Negan smiled hoping she would return one but she didn't.

Alex couldn't return his grin though kissed him hard and good, pulling him back to her several times in a row. "What am I supposed to tell the kids?"

"Tell them Daddy's on a business trip."

"Daddy better come home... or I'll be heading out there looking for you." Alex looked him directly in the eyes. "And don't think I won't."

Negan chuckled. "I know you will." He pulled her back to him and spoke so their faces were just a few inches apart. "That's what I love about you." He leaned in and touched his lips to her again and rephrased his previous statement. "I love you."

Alex kissed him another time. "I love you too."

...

Negan approached the main gate and hopped into a truck he had set aside for the trip packed with a case of emergency supplies as a 'just in case' package.

Simon had been waiting and hopped into the passenger seat with him prompting Negan to turn to him immediately. "If this is some sort of ambush I'll take you down with me."

The two exchanged a long glance before Simon spoke. "Do you really think-"

"No." Negan answered the question before he had the chance to ask it. "I just want you to know what'll happen."

"Okay." Simon nodded. "I'm with ya buddy and I'm glad to see you fuckin' breathing. Shit, I want you to come back and run shit again."

"That ain't gunna fuckin' happen," he admitted, starting up the car. "But I have this ache in my balls wondering what it's like over there these days." Negan turned to Simon who gave a smile.

"Well... you're about to find out."

The two of them headed out of the Manor gates and headed down the familiar back roads. With each passing mile Negan felt his chest tighten a bit in anticipation.

"You have a dog or something?" Simon asked.

"The fuck are you talking about?"

He nodded toward movement in the back seat beneath a blanket and Negan pulled the truck to a halt on the side of the road.

"Shit... okay, okay..." a tiny female voice came from the back before the blanket whipped up in the air. "Don't stop on my account."

"Damn it..." Negan turned his head and put the truck in park. "Sarah..."

"Sarah?" Simon asked.

"Pleased to formally meet you," she extended a hand. "I lived at the Sanctuary and heard you barking orders and shit but we never actually met."

Simon looked to Negan. "Who's Sarah?"

"My pain in the ass," he said, making eye contact with her in the rear view mirror.

"She your kid?"

"Might as well be." Negan let out an aggravated huff. "You're going back."

"Waste of resources," Sarah said to him. "Can't afford the gas... that's twenty minutes back and then twenty to get back to here... forty minutes worth of gas. Not worth it."

"She's right," Simon acknowledged.

"Alex is going to be fuckin' worried sick about you... you're going back," Negan insisted.

"I left a note... she's be fine." Sarah grinned despite knowing Negan was pissed. "I can't let you go all rogue on your own. You're my Batman. I'm Robin."

Simon began to laugh out loud. "I like her."

"Dont encourage this shit," Negan told him.

"You really do sound like a fuckin' dad," Simon laughed again and turned to Sarah. "You're alright with me kid."

"Two to one," Sarah said to Negan.

He hesitated a moment before continuing on the way they came. "Fuckin' fuck..."


End file.
